Thank you for reading this post. I’m a high school student from China and will soon apply to American colleges. I’m most interested in science and engineering, but also I enjoy studying a lot of subjects. As I’m doing school search and choosing an early decision school, I am really captivated by the history, the prestige and most importantly the academics of UPenn. I really love the interdisciplinary atmosphere here, but I’m a little concerned about the social life.
I always consider myself to be kind of “geeky” since my hobbies are mainly related to the subject I study, like writing codes. Even worse, I don’t know much about American culture because I’m an international student, so it is very likely that I wouldn’t find any topics to talk about with American students here. Even in my country, I’m the sort of most boring person because I almost never watch movies or listen to music. I can play some sports like frisbee, kayak and soccer, but can’t play very well. Therefore, I guess the only way I could make friends, especially American friends, is to find someone who is also a geek.
I know UPenn is one of the most social universities in the US. Unlike students from some other schools, students here party a lot. Greek life also has a huge presence. I’m worried if I could find a niche here if I’m not social. Would I be ostracized here if I’m socially awkward? Are there any students here that are similar to me? Would I make friends here? I really wonder if I can make friends who have the same academic interests and personalities with me.
I certainly hope my college life in the future will be happy, so now I’m looking for insights into this issue. I hope you can give me some valuable advice. Thank you!
Penn students are quite social, but it is a large class and everyone is not. Additionally, students tend to find their friends via the clubs and activities they are involved in. You should be able to find other students like you. I would recommend that you engage in clubs and activities though.
It is hard to get a real feel for a school from a website, even for students living in the same country. However, it is your assumptions that are your real challenge:
First, UPenn students do not (on average) party noticeably more than students at many, many, many other universities.
Second, American students (like students I know in other countries) don’t tend to talk about their ‘culture’- they talk about what is interesting to them. They talk about things like the results of whatever sports are in season, what they watched on TV/YouTube/etc, big news events (but not necessarily very much about politics/current events), their classes/schoolwork, food (especially where/when they are going to eat), video games, etc., etc.
One of the benefits of going to school in another country is that you learn about the ordinary things of life in that country. And one of the things about most people (in most countries, actually), is that they like to be helpful, feel useful, feel smart. So as the newcomer, asking questions about how things work or why something is done a certain way is a great way to join/open a conversation. And sharing how it would be different for you at home can continue the conversation. It’s nice to not make it harshly critical (esp before you know people well).
The way that most people make friends is by spending time with the other person/people either doing things that they both/all enjoy and/or by suffering through the same challenges. One of the hardest things to resist as a new international student is latching on to people from your home region and staying comfortable in that friend group. I get the temptation (been there): living in another language is tiring; eating foreign food all the time gets old; having people who behave in ways you understand is so much easier. You will almost certainly find some other Chinese students, no matter what college you go to, but try to push yourself to have more than one friend group. As an example, my current collegekid, who is pretty shy and very nerdy, has a friend group from her dorm, a friend group from her major, and a friend group from her favorite activity. She does different things with each of them.
Two easy ways to get started as a new student are:
join a club that does something you enjoy. It might be a frisbee / kayak / coding club- it doesn’t matter what, and you don’t have to be a star- just enjoy doing it.
look for/start study groups. I have been told that this is not typical in China, but in the US it is very common for students in a class to make informal groups who study together, to help each other do better. Study groups can be as temporary as preparing for one test or they can run for the length of the term. Study groups can form and re-form as needed / as the students enjoy. They can be collaborative working groups, or parallel study where people just ask for help as needed.
And personally speaking, regarding socializing, I feel that people from Engineering are pretty easy going and cool. I went there for summer program this August and felt pretty blend in. But all I know are just some ppl from the TAs, so there might also be exceptions. Penn is pretty famous for letting people find their own niche, so guess that’s a pro if you really are a bit shy. Plus the food of Penn is not bad, but definitely not as good regarding the tuition, but you can find a lot of real fine Chinese restaurants around. I LOVE THEM