<p>I think you should get a part time job and save your money.</p>
<p>LadyDianeski: haha, yeah, they’re great parents, just a bit stifling at times (:</p>
<p>I wish they would just see that the odds are I’ll turn out okay. Technically, anybody could fail in life, but just because that sliver of possibility is there, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. But anyways, yes, so game plan is to “play the game” as mom2collegekids put it, and be the biggest suck-up ever. Time to be beyond perfect. As for my social life, I really don’t have one at this point because of school and because my parents frown on spending much time with friends (they think it’s a waste of time 
), so keeping that on the low shouldn’t be a problem (:</p>
<p>I’ve had friends whose parents had a similar mindset in regards to complaining that their child would get fat from eating a chocolate bar or can’t spend much time with friends because it’s “a waste of time.” My suggestion is to follow their rules and show that you can be responsible within reason. Expecting an 18 year old to be perfect all the time and to have a similar organizational pattern to the parent, especially if the child was raised in a different part of the country or world than the parents, is expecting an awful lot.</p>
<p>In terms of having a social life, doing activities with friends is often what people remember most about college and networking with other people can often lead to interesting opportunities later on. For example, many companies provide financial incentives if a current employee recommends a person that they eventually hire. College is more than attending classes. College is certainly is about learning, but that learning often happens outside of the classroom.</p>
<p>My advice would be to try and find the <em>root</em> cause of the parents’ concerns, esp since you are female going away (far away geographically in their minds?, are you an only child and/or first to go away?, did they have a tough time in college and don’t want you repeating their ‘mistakes’?, did they do a gap year themselves and thought it beneficial and want you to repeat that experience?, are you younger than your peers and they are worried about that?, are they worried about how UA is perceived and that you may become too <strong><em>fill-in-the-blank</em></strong>?, are they worried that homeschooling was inadequate in any way and did not prepare you for college?, etc.). Sometimes what parents put up as roadblocks are actually excuses for something else that is unresolved in their own lives. Just sayin’… The FIT of the school is the most important criterion for choosing one, in order to be successful there. Perhaps you can help them see that. Good luck.</p>
<p>I would respect your parent’s opinions, but I would ask yourself something…do YOU want to take a gap year? At all? If that answer is a no, then you should do what you want. Going to Alabama on a full tuition scholarship is an amazing opportunity that you do not want to miss out on! The school is amazing. It seems to me that you’re more than ready for college. We all are a little immature at times, but that is how we grow. They just seem a little overprotective and unwilling to let you go, and sometimes, you have to show them that you’ll be fine without them. They raised you to be independent and mature, so they shouldn’t be worried.</p>
<p>Thanks again everyone. I’ve been trying everything I can to be a model daughter and then some. They seem a little less reluctant, but still not close to being sold to the idea of me leaving yet. I do have their permission to go ahead and apply this fall, with the agreement that if they say “no” next spring, then I’ll take the gap year. We’ll see. I really appreciate all ya’lls’ advice. They are considering letting me go to at least Ole Miss if not Bama just because Ole Miss is only about an hour away and would basically pay me to attend. That’s not a gaurantee though, and I love bama, not ole miss, so we’ll see. </p>
<p>senior14RT - While I appreciate your advice, I really don’t want to go against my parents’ wishes as they, or rather, my mom, would quite literally disown me if I did so. She’s threatened to do so, she’s also Japanese, and asian moms usually make good on their threats. She gave up a career as a doctor to raise me and I’ve been brought up to respect my elders above all else, so I feel rather obliged to make sure she at least can tolerate my decision regarding college.</p>
<p>As far as their college experience: Mom was at the top of Japan’s cutthroat school system (top grade school, top high school, top college, top med school) and was pretty much a smart, disciplined grind who was on the fast track to becoming a top doctor before moving to America and marrying my dad. Gave everything up to raise three kids to the best of her abilities, and thinks the American school system is as difficult as her’s. I think she looks at me, compares me with her former self, and doesn’t see me being able to follow in her footsteps. In Japan, I would have never been able to go to the schools she went to, nor would I have much of a chance at med school. I’ve become a grind to please her, but personality-wise, I’m more creative, spontaneous, and like to have fun once in a blue moon. She’s struggled to fit me in a certain box and make me something I wasn’t all my life, and while I’ve been able to act like a “mini-her” for several years, I guess she’s not convinced I’ll stay the person she’s worked so hard to make me if I get out from under her supervision. I don’t think any number of gap years will change that though. That’s not to say I will not study hard to earn good grades in college. I’m very self-motivated to always do my best study-wise, I just would probably hang out with friends or go watch a movie once in a while. In the school system where she grew up, you chose one or the other, one did not become a top student and have fun. Here, I feel that’s a lot more possible if done in balance. I guess she just doesn’t think that way.</p>
<p>Dad went to a small college in baltimore, got A’s for the most part, but partied hard and did, uhm, not so conservative things before moving to memphis and becoming a christian. I guess his problem is knowing what’s out there and not wanting his little girl exposed to them. He’s a lot more on board with the whole college thing than my mom though. We have very similar personalities and he trusts me a whole lot more than my mom who just never could get where I was coming from or how I ''happened" when my other siblings are both mini-versions of her.</p>
<p>I’ve been trying everything I can to be a model daughter and then some. They seem a little less reluctant, but still not close to being sold to the idea of me leaving yet</p>
<p>It’s only been a short-time that you’ve been the “new and improved” daughter. It will take time for them to see that you’re maturing and capable.</p>
<p>Yes, it does seem that your mom may want to live vicariously thru you because she gave up so much.</p>
<p>Good job keeping your nose clean…keep it up and keep us posted!</p>
<p>:)</p>