As a recent ND grad, here’s my input.
While I was there, we had to fight for there to be an official gay-straight alliance group (now called PRISM). It was a big push with huge student and faculty support, including the support of several priests on campus. Now the group is officially sanctioned and by all indications doing well. However, the administration did not add sexuality to their non-discrimination clause, which we had also pushed for, which was a huge disappointment. I think if anyone on campus is ever abused for their sexuality (likely by another student), they should sue the school for refusing to officially condemn such discrimination. To not misrepresent their statements, however, I should note that when they refused, the administration did condemn such discrimination, but seemed to think that they’d be forced to let gay couples marry in the Basilica if they amended the non-discrimination clause. It’s still a shitty move, and I have problems with the administration on a lot of issues.
The Catholic religion definitely has a substantial role at ND, and you see that in the more conservative policies towards campus life, such as the single-gender dorms. While, funny enough, gay students get the lucky break of being able to be in their romantic partners’ dorm rooms at all hours of the night while straight couples have to part at 12am/2am (in theory, many just hide), some of the male dorm cultures, especially freshman year, could feel alienating to LGBT students. I didn’t see that myself (being straight), but heard from a couple of gay male students that freshman orientation was “hetero-normative” (you run around and sing to the girls’ dorms, partner with them for activities and a dance). Others didn’t mind, but take that how you will.
I’d say that while the Democrat-Republican split in the student body is about 50-50 (someone always holds a mock election in presidential election years and it comes out like that), which is conservative for a college but representative for society at large (the Catholic population in the U.S. actually tends a little more to the left), at least 80% of students are pro-gay rights. Including most of the Catholic students. The professors in the College of Arts and Letters also tend strongly to the progressive side, while the other colleges’ professors rarely get involved in anything identifiably political. Most of the A&L professors had solidarity signs in their offices during the fight, at least in the few departments I regularly visited. I believe the spouses of gay faculty receive normal benefits.
I knew a lot of LGBT students at ND. Mostly gay and lesbian students, but a couple bisexual and one trans student. There’s definitely a community, though likely a smaller one than you would find at a public or secular university. I met few students who thought less of others for being gay, and like I said, no more than 20% were against gay marriage. Even several of my otherwise conservative Paul Ryan-fanboy friends would be insulted if you even questioned them on it. However, those few who are against gay rights can be vocal, and there’s a small “family values” club that often writes inflammatory letters in the student newspaper. Not to mention the College Republicans sponsoring a visit from Ann Coulter. And while the large majority of ND students are in favor of gay rights, including marriage, a lot of those still aren’t what you’d call super-sensitive. A couple years ago, a big chant broke out in part of the student section at a football game singing a song about how “Zahm’s gay.” (Zahm is a male dorm that has a reputation for being weird, like running through the library naked during finals week. There were also rumors that more sexual assaults occurred at parties there, but I also heard that of a couple other male dorms.)
I would say that if a strong gay community with no acceptance issues is the most important factor on your list, I would choose one of the University of California schools over ND. Acceptance is definitely growing, but there are still some bumps on the road, and it may be uncomfortable for you at times. While I can’t truly understand the struggles of LGBT students, I can sympathize with such discomfort, which I sometimes felt as a student coming from poverty at a university filled with the well-off. However, the students and faculty are for the large part accepting and good people. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t several bad eggs, but there are more good. And on social issues other than gay marriage and abortion, Notre Dame is more progressive than the average university. They take Catholic social teaching seriously.
This isn’t written to encourage or discourage you. Notre Dame is a wonderful place, but it has several issues that make it wrong for a lot of people. I don’t regret my decision to attend in the least, and the friends I made there are the best of my life.
A note: Don’t pick Notre Dame because it’s the most prestigious university you got into. It has a different culture from most schools, and not just in terms of religion. It is likely the most athletic major university, with over 75% of entering students having been varsity athletes in high school. Most people play rec sports and everyone (and I mean recorded at 98% or more) goes to the football games. There are no fraternities or sororities. Most students stay in the dorms for three years. The dorms are single-gender, you stay in the same one every year (except for the rare transfer), they have mascots and sports teams and rivalries, and they are usually the basis of your social circle, especially freshman year. The campus is beautiful, but South Bend gets cold as hell in the winter. All in all, it’s a great place for the people who fit there, but anyone just going down a list of deeply flawed rankings may be unhappy with what they get.
My advice is to visit campus if you can. Do a prospective student shadow day or two. You can stay in a dorm, your host student will bring you to classes or clubs or parties, and you can get a sense of what things are like. Maybe email whoever’s involved with PRISM now and get their meeting schedule, so you can visit at a time when you can attend one and talk to people.
I wish you luck in making your decision.
