<p>I am not sure what to do and am hoping some parents here can give me some advice. I have just received my final midterm grade in one of my classes and I am 6/10 of a percent from an A. So as it stands now my final grade will be a B, my very first B ever! I flamed out on my final exam because my grandfather died the night before the final, I hardly slept and had trouble concentrating during the exam. I am meeting with my teacher on Monday to go over my final and can't decide whether or not to ask her if I can retake my exam. She has no idea about my grandfather's death and I am not sure that she will care, frankly. I do have a paper I can show her to prove that I am not lying about his death (a copy of his death certificate). Do you think I should ask her if there is anything that I can do to try and get that extra 6/10 of a percent to get an A or just take my lumps? I have been distraught over all of this, I have worked so hard for 4 long years and to miss graduating with a 4.0 over such a small amount is killing me. My school gives special recognition (a different color robe) to those students who graduate with a 4.0 and I have seen myself walking across the stage in one of those robes for so long....</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather, but when did all of this happen? I can’t make a connection between the final and the midterm grade. I think the reason is because I’d assume that if it happened just now, the grief of your grandfather would be overriding preoccupation with a single B. Also it takes awhile to get a death cert. </p>
<p>Its not clear why you didn’t postpone the exam at the time, or talk to your teacher immediately about it. It unfortunately gives the impression you are pursuing this because of the outcome, not because of a death in the family. I think you’d get a lot more traction if you had discussed it with the teacher at the outset (so far after the fact, after the outcome, and it sounds like a too common story that studens tell teachers/professors). </p>
<p>And can’t you still get a 4.0 since you have the rest of the year to go now? </p>
<p>Also why isn’t 6/10ths of a percent rounded up in this case? </p>
<p>But finally, to address your question: why not just ask? What is the worse thing that would happen from doing so? I can’t see what you have to lose by trying.</p>
<p>In this case,since it has been a dream for that long, I would ask. The worst she will say is no. Maybe she won’t make you retake the test but give you some extra credit work?</p>
<p>Our school doesn’t round grades either. They compute them out to .0000.</p>
<p>Starbright, thanks for your condolences. My grandfather died 10 days ago, and you are right, I dont have a death certificate, what I do have is a copy of the receipt from his cremation showing his date of death. I just said a death certificate for simplicity’s sake. Your take on the situation is exactly why I am hesitant to even mention to my teacher that the death in my family may have affected my performance on the test. I suspect she will have the same questions you have, and I am afraid I don’t have any good answers. I went to school the next day and took my test because that is just the way I am, I guess. I don’t make a habit of asking for favors and didn’t want to stay home that day. I needed to see my friends and wanted the distraction of school, and it seemed like the best idea to try and stick to my routine. And you are also right that had the outcome been different, I woudn’t be thinking about discussing this with my teacher because there would be no need. But I actually thought I did quite well on my exam and I am still dumbfounded that I did so poorly. In any case, I appreciate your input and am now thinking I will just meet with my teacher to go over my test and my ultimate grade and not mention my grandfather’s death. I am afraid she also will suspect my motives and I am not sure I am in the mood for any one questioning my sincerity, the choices I made after my grandfather’s death, or most importantly, my depth of feeling for him.</p>
<p>First of all you didn’t do poorly. Really. Second, you are being a touch melodramatic about the grade thing. So, take a deep breath and do go over what you got incorrect on your test with your teacher. You are at midterms so you have not “ruined” your 4.0 unless you are at a very, very unusual school. I don’t think it would be out of line to ask your teacher if you could do an extra paper or project to help boost your final GPA and I think it is fair to tell your teacher that you slept poorly because your grandfather died the day before. Some teachers will let students do an extra paper or project to boost an “almost” grade and others won’t. You won’t know unless you ask.</p>
<p>My mistake – this was not my midterm grade, but my first SEMESTER final grade. So yes, it does take away my 4.0, unfortunately. </p>
<p>I guess I will just see how it goes on Monday. Perhaps my teacher will surprise me and give me some opportunity to do extra credit or something to raise my semester grade that 6/10th of a percent. I will certainly ask, but I am not optimistic, however – it is not her style. And I guess I’ve learned some lesson here – I should have stayed home. I really just tried to “soldier on” and I guess that was the wrong choice. 
</p>
<p>Thanks again everyone. I know I may seem a bit melodramatic, but losing someone who was a big influence in my life and then also my chance to walk across my graduation stage in my 4.0 gown all in the space of a week and a half has been alot for me. My grandfather was a university professor, and he of all my family members was especially proud of my academic acomplishments. I feel like I’ve let him down, too.</p>
<p>13962Girl–hopefully she will surprise you. DD missed several days of school, 3 weeks of several days, and as you can imagine has a LOT of homework to make up. The teacher I thought was going to give her the hardest time actually was the most accommodating. You just never know. Let us know how it goes on Monday.</p>
<p>Well there are a few really valuable lessons here for you, as you set off before college:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>It IS okay to ask to miss things for really important reasons. You are applying to McGill right? At the outset, familiarize yourself with their undergrad office/advising. Usually you can contact them even on short notice to get permission to have to miss an exam for something this serious, or even less serious (like illness). </p></li>
<li><p>As soon you as can, email the teacher/professor and explain your circumstances. It always goes better :). </p></li>
<li><p>You will get Bs and life goes on. It will have no lasting or meaningful impact on your life. If you focus too much on perfect scores, you will suffer needlessly and miss out on important opportunities and life changing experiences. It’s really tough to get all As at McGill (but everyone knows this and accounts for it- so you might but don’t worry if you do not!). </p></li>
<li><p>Always ask- the worse that will happen is they say no. It sounds like you are a very trustworthy, serious student who has never had to do this before. So she likely WILL believe you. Tell her the truth and everything you’ve mentioned here, and tell her you can bring her something if she needs it (like the copy you mentioned).</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Frankly, as an old adult and parent, I think this was a far better outcome for all you can learn from it, than a stupid robe. These lessons last a lifetime and that robe will be meaningless once you are in college. </p>
<p>And as others have said, it is not the end of the world if you don’t get the robe. I can totally understand how at your age/vantage point, it seems like a very big deal…but really in the big scheme of things it won’t impact your life at all and once you are at university you won’t care like you do now. </p>
<p>BTW, there is a cool study that shows that “silver medal” winners feel worse than “bronze medal” winners in the Olympics. It seems backwards but its all about reference points. It is MUCH easier to get bronze…at least you got a medal. But the silver medal winners feel ‘they just missed gold’. You probably feel a bit that way too. But it will pass!</p>
<p>I am hoping (and optimistic) that you’ll get to 4.0.</p>
<p>Thank you again, everyone. Starbright, you are right about McGill – it is far and away my number one choice and I have already acknowledged to myself that if I get accepted there then I suspect this whole robe thing probably won’t matter so much to me at that point. I do know, intellectually,that in the big picture – and probably a very short time down the road from now – this whole thing won’t matter much. But this weekend it has just been preying on my mind and I have just been a mixture of sad and disappointed about everything. All of your comments have helped me tremendously. And I guess I do need to learn to be a “squeaky wheel” now and again and not be so so afraid to speak up. Thank you again.</p>
<p>I’m sorry for your loss of your Grandfather and I know how this can affect someone. It’s certainly possible and even probable that it affected that grade somewhat.</p>
<p>Firstly, don’t sweat it too much since you’ve obviously done very well.</p>
<p>However, given what you’ve posted here, you might want to go have a talk with the teacher about the circumstances and see if anything can be done. If the answer is that nothing can be done then be as gracious as you can be to the teacher and accept it. </p>
<p>In reality many students are faced with issues that affect their grades every now and then including close family or friends who pass away or are very ill, the student getting sick at the wrong time and ending up with little sleep or little chance to study, etc. and in the end most just deal with it.</p>
<p>Give it a try though and see how it goes - I don’t think you should just assume you have to take your lumps even though you might have to in the end.</p>
<p>I agree that in the grand scheme of things that robe isn’t a big deal, for an 18 year old girl that has worked her rear off to maintain a 4.0, you BET it’s a big deal. Don’t feel bad for thinking otherwise. This is why people set goals, to achieve them. Sometimes the goals are small reminders of that, like wearing a special robe at your high school graduation. Kudos to you no matter what happens on Monday but I hope you get to wear that robe!!</p>
<p>Yes, I would talk to your teacher about it on Monday. I don’t think he/she will ask for proof of your grandfather’s death. I am sorry for your loss. Oftentimes in life, timing is pretty awful. Let your teacher know, and whatever happens, happens.</p>
<p>Life happens. I am sure your grandfather is proud of you, whether you have A’s or not. It’s what you do with your knowledge that matters, not what grade you get on a report card. I wish we could just do away with grades, and focus on real learning, because my own philosophy is that the two do not really go hand in hand! The outside color you wear at graduation isn’t really what is important…it will be the inside YOU that matters!</p>
<p>I have a different view. I would leave it alone and get on with your life. I’m very sorry about your Grandfather. The reality is, however, that sometimes we are called upon to perform in less than ideal circumstances. In fact, most of the time we have to do this. If you are a hard worker and an organized student, you are generally going to do well. One unfortunate bobble like this won’t put you off your game permanently. Let it go and move ahead.</p>
<p>I am so sorry about the loss of your grandfather but I agree with NJSue. Leave it alone and move on. Life is full of ups and downs and this is just one of them. Life doesn’t end at with a B+.</p>
<p>I’d let this go. One B is not going to ruin you. At this point, take care of your emotional self. I’m sorry to hear of your grandfathers death. Spend time thinking of all the nice memories you have of him.</p>
<p>I wanted to update everyone on the outcome of my meeting with my teacher today. I walked into her room and there were half a dozen other kids there – turns out I wasn’t the only student who was somewhat shocked at their score on their final exam. My teacher made an error in scoring one of the responses on the exam, and after adjusting our grades to account for this, I gained an extra 6% on my final exam. This 6% brought my final semester grade to an A! Barely, an A however – by .08%. So I feel like maybe my grandfather was watching out for me, and I vow to knock it out of the ballpark this final semester in calculus! I do think I learned quite a lot from this experience, though, and thank all of you for helping me put this whole experience into perspective.</p>
<p>So glad it for worked out for you. I believe your grandfather was watching over you. Good luck for the upcoming semester. Thank you for coming back here and letting us know how things worked out. :)</p>
<p>So glad that things worked out. But I do agree with this statement from Starbright:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Remember this when you go to college and you get your first B (or C :eek:)…</p>
<p>Yeah that is great news! And so nice of you to give us an update! Now here is crossing my fingers you get into McGill!</p>