<p>Hey all,
I'm extremely nervous about applying to college, so I'm starting my essays early--the common app one, at least. I'm writing at least three different essays and then picking the one I like best, but my most developed one has me a bit worried.
I'm writing it about my life with various medical conditions, how I've grown through it, my life as a ballet dancer and having to learn to dance through the pain and not giving into it blah blah blah build your own warm fuzzy bear etc.
Not to sound trite, because it really has affected my life and everything, but I'm just worried that it'll sound like I'm trying to play the sympathy card. I know college essays shouldn't be negative, but I don't know if writing about medical problems count. I mean, it's not as if it's dark and depressing--it focuses more on living upward, and I have lighter lines like "I didn't care about the surgery, because mommy bought me a new doll" "'I'm going to dig for dinosaur bones!'" etc. whatever.
So yeah thanks for your help.</p>
<p>I think you can make it work if you do it well. It’s still a common essay type, but it works well. I know several people who got into top schools writing about their conditions and how it was overcame. For ex, one person wrote about how he was color blind yet he had a passion for art.</p>
<p>Unless you’re applying to a college’s dance program, this sounds more like an extracurriclar essay – the kind that the Common App did away with last year, but that some colleges are now requiring as part of their supplements. Of all the subjects you could write about, why is this one the most important? What’s the take-away message from your essay that an Admissions Director is supposed to get? You’re a hard worker, you’re are passionate about dancing and are willing to work through agonizing pain? As you continue to write your essays, please keep this quote in mind from Michele Hernandez in her book Acing The College Application
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<p>AHA! Thanks to both of you, but @gibby I was trying to remember what the name of that book was. Thanks!
I’ll probably finish writing the four I’m working on and then decide. Of course by then, I’m sure I’ll have scrapped them all and be working on something different…</p>
<p>I don’t think they will interpret your essay as a sympathy card. There is nothing wrong about sharing your personal struggles. However your essay should focus more about your future aspirations and less about your past. Best of my wishes & good luck</p>
<p>I think it’s a great topic! Essays are a component of your application to show your distinct truth of life. If you felt that your medical conditions added a challenge to your aspiring hobby of ballet then all you speak is truth. Not some ‘sympathy card’ type of thing. But, it could become a ‘sympathy card’ if you write your essay in a form that reflects pure bragging and complaining about your medical condition! I am pretty sure that you won’t do such thing hahah but what I’m saying is that if you write this essay in a candid form of a thrilling journey and describe how it shaped the scruples and character of who you are, then it should be fine. Describe the dragons and witches you had to overcome, the prizes you gained overtime, and how you plan to give back what you were given. </p>
<p>Essays should show the unique factor of your life that distinctly impacted upon your stellar character. It does not matter what it was that impacted the person you are today. It could be the incredible taste of the ice cream that inspired you to create more flavors and give to the community your creations! If you feel that your medical conditions and the respective journey through the art of ballet truly impacted you as a whole, then there is nothing wrong writing about that. Truth is always the answer 
Good luck!</p>
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^^ Actually, writing about your “medical condition” is probably the quickest way to the reject pile. Admissions Officers could care less about whatever adversity in life befell you or challenged you – and that applies to everything from having a hangnail to ADHD to cancer. What AO’s want to know is how you have succeeded in life despite your adversity; what have you done to overcome the challenges life has thrown at you. That’s the topic to write about!</p>
<p>What strikes me about your question is the use of phrases children say, so I wanted to warn about spending much time on childhood. I can’t really see saying ‘mommy’ in a college essay. I don’t know what “blah blah blah build your own warm fuzzy bear etc.” means at all. I also think a recitation of ‘various medical conditions’ isn’t what you want to be the main focus.</p>
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Why can’t OP do this by writing about how he overcame his medical conditions?</p>
<p>^^ The OP can indeed do this, but it’s a tricky balance to focus the essay on overcoming adversity without the essay becoming a ploy for pity. For example, in the sample essay “SPEAK” provided by Johns Hopkins (<a href=“http://apply.jhu.edu/apply/essays/2014”>http://apply.jhu.edu/apply/essays/2014</a>) the author writes effectively about how he overcame his stutter. As the AO notes the essay worked because:
A successful essay about overcoming adversity, whatever the issues, has to be about the applicant’s strength of character and NOT about the adversity itself – which was the point I was making to KbbGrizzly when they suggested the OP write about their medical condition and how it impacted the OP.</p>
<p>Great topic,i like the lighthearted-ness</p>
<p>Sharing your story is not a bad idea. Factually, Colleges actually want that - they want to know more about you in order to see if their campuses will be the right FIT for you. The problem is usually in the delivery, not the story.
So when doing that, paint a picture of how your life has evolved around this situation, but most importantly, how you will use this experience to better yourself, community and the world that you live in going forward. In addition, allow it to flow positively, and do NOT give any tone of “crying for help or waiting to be delivered”. You can do it, you are already a survivor.
Best of luck to you.</p>