I am writing a courage and resilience supplemental essay and was wondering if it would be a bad idea to write about how I had to reach out to my friend’s parents and tell them about her suicidal thoughts. This was a hard thing for me to do but I’m not sure if this is a topic I should be avoiding completely even if I’m not the one who dealt with it.
Ask yourself how this topic will show you in a positive way, and how it will be about you and not your friend. If you aren’t able to write it in a way that will make them say “I want this student on campus,” you should consider carefully. Remember, the essay is a sales pitch and it helps the AO gauge fit.
It’s hard for most kids to write well about this type of topic. If you’re a strong writer, go for it. If not, reconsider.
If done well, I think it shows courage and maturity to openly discuss such a difficult topic. Given the subject matter, I recommend you have a teacher or writing coach take a look at it before submitting. Best of luck!
I would imagine that it has the seeds of a good essay. Just be sure it’s about you since that’s the point of the essay. You may want to focus on one element (i.e., being trustworthy to your friend) of the challenge so that it provides more insight into who you are and why your actions required courage.
Agree that this could be strong, but would take skill and care. In brainstorming your approach, think about the qualities about yourself to convey to the Admissions team – is it that you can be counted on to do the right thing, even when it’s hard? Someone who has shown that caring, friendship, relationships, involve doing hard things, and not just the easy ones? Those are qualities many schools would like to have in their campus community.
As others have already pointed out, “if done well”, this topic could be “seeds of a good essay”, but tread very very carefully.
Please see post# 53 of the thread, “Former Stanford Admissions Officer Answers Your Hardest Questions - ASK ME ANYTHING!”
An excerpt from that post #53:
"One Mistake:
The biggest mistake I see is students forget they’re applying to be . . . a student. A student who works with college professors. They are going to read, write, do research in specific academic fields. That’s what they should write about. Instead, they focus too much on highlighting personal qualities–a childhood memory about experiencing loss; a new sense of appreciation after coming in contact with poverty; how they befriended a student with a learning disability. All admirable, but not on point for applying to be a scholar studying with some of the smartest people on the planet. In short, they need to focus on their academic interests and intellectual qualities.
–MCS "
MCS is the former Stanford Admission Officer.
@tgl2023
I’m curious to what extent admission officers from other top institutions would agree with MCS’s laser-focused approach, especially those from colleges and universities that insist on a free exploration of a wide variety of topics and delay declaration of the major until late sophomore year. They may be looking for something slightly different than the ability to “do research in specific academic fields.”
Or am I believing too much in the myth of liberal arts education?
@tgl2023 Do you think this could also depend on the student’s intended major? I am applying to study music education so I would think that someone in the education field would have to demonstrate more empathy than say an engineering major.
Be careful how you generalize people and pigeonhole them. This does not bode well for someone that wants to get into a good university by making inaccurate generalizations.
My daughter was an engineering major and graduated with a degree in engineering. She originally was going into medicine and was accepted into various top ten universities. She volunteered constantly in high school and still continues to volunteer at food banks and soup kitchens where people need people. She happened to be really good at math and science but that does not mean that she was devoid of feelings or compassion.
You need to write about you because the college is accepting or rejecting you. You’ve never had to be courageous or resilient in any life situation, ever? You’ve never had to struggle to stand up for yourself to something? Think about the reader with your essay.
I think the purpose of the essay can vary, depending on the type of school. Certainly every LAC we visited talked about the importance of building community, so qualities like empathy, accountability, and steadfastness are valued. Comparing my public flagship kid’s application experience with my LAC kid’s application experience, we found that public flagships, generally (big generalization) flagships seemed to be more interested in how a student would contribute to the academic community rather than to life on campus outside the classroom.
I think you need to be careful about these two things:
- Even though you are writing it about your decision to tell your friend's parents, ultimately the struggle is about her.
- If you are able to make it about you, be careful that it doesn't read like you are exploiting someone else's pain.
I’m not sure how I’d feel about someone else writing about MY drug abuse or MY suicidal ideation to get into college had I gone through something like that. I’d have that in mind as a reader.
I think it can be done but it’s needlessly tricky IMO.
taykelly post #7
“…they focus too much on highlighting personal qualities…”
The words that resonate with me in MCS’ comments are ‘too much’. I don’t know how much is ‘too much’; however, I do know that for all students who seek college acceptances, irrespective of their potential fields of study, while highlighting your personal qualities in the essays, do demonstrate to the colleges that you are ready to learn and follow through with school work.
@tgl2023 , you are assuming this student is applying to HYPMS. I’m not sure that advice is applicable to all students applying to all colleges.