<p>A bunch of you are talking about off-campus apartments where each person has his or her own bedroom, or a suite in which there are shared common areas, or housemates. I think that is not even remotely similar to “sharing a room.” I wouldn’t think twice about my kids being in off-campus apartments with opposite-sex housemates, but that’s different from sharing a room; and if that’s off-campus, that’s what we old folks called “living together.” I don’t have a problem with living together before marriage - and in fact would recommend it - but I’m not sure I like the idea in college. </p>
<p>Whatever the motive, OP should realize that when we parents were in college ourselves, the sexual revolution was already over. When I was at Vassar in the early 80s, virtually all juniors and seniors, and about half of all sophomores, had single rooms. If we were in sexual relationships, of course we spent weeks or even months living unofficially with our girlfriends or boyfriends, with only a few nights apart here and there for the sake of studying. Finding a girl in the hall bathroom brushing her teeth in a bathrobe was an everyday occurrence.</p>
<p>So for me, anyway, this is not a new idea, not shocking, not in conflict with my values or expectations. It’s just a way of formalizing what’s been happening on a de facto basis for a long, long time.</p>
<p>Newsie, just my opinion here. You have started four threads with questions…but more general ones, and about somewhat provocative topics. I don’t see any questions from you about colleges, searching for colleges, selection criteria, financial aid, and the like. </p>
<p>I personally would be more likely to respond to a poster who was active here in terms if college search and selection…but you don’t seem to have that in your posting history. </p>
<p>Sharing a suite with separate bedrooms or an apartment off campus with someone of the opposite sex is common, and I have no issue with it. Sharing your traditional small dorm room where there is no privacy with someone of the opposite sex would be a huge problem for my children, and thus for me. Not sure what benefit there is to such an arrangement. </p>
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<p>Are there actually colleges which randomly assign opposite-gendered roommates in dorm situations considering the levels of outrage this issue continues to stir up in parents…including some self-proclaimed liberal progressive ones?</p>
<p>Also, considering my LAC and most colleges I know of which allow for opposite-gendered roommates do so in a way that the student concerned must affirmatively opt-in to the arrangement, the only way I can see this being an issue is if the student concerned is fine for opting in whereas his/her parents are not. And that issue is really between the student and his/her parents…not student, family, and college which offers opposite gendered roommate living arrangements as a student choice. </p>
<p>One of mine currently lives with an opposite sex roommate with whom she is romantically involved. Am I crazy about it? No. As others have said, it’s a minefield. There’s a lease. They’re stuck together, making each other miserable for the duration of that document, but some kids (and mine is one of them) only learn things the hard way. </p>
<p>If things were different I honestly don’t know if that one could keep a relationship platonic even if it started out that way. For some people, even though they may not want to admit it, it is better to keep their roommates same sex. The other kid actively avoids romantic entanglements. While I wouldn’t be terribly happy about her sharing a dorm room with a guy, a suite with her own bedroom (or 2 girls in one bedroom, guys in another) or an apartment would be another story. </p>
<p>Personally, being Queer, there was the chance for me becoming romantically involved no matter what the gender or sex of my roommate. Perhaps that’s why I have a different take on things.
I’ve always liked living with males far more than females. I’d take a random male roommate (not apartment-mate but roommate) over a female one any day. </p>
<p>Well, I don’t think random roommate equals potential romantic involvement. It certainly shouldn’t. Proximity is a pretty lame reason for picking a partner. imho. The random part is the part I would not be okay with though, not the gender part unless it was a shared room. But, that situation would never happen.</p>
<p>I actually completely agree, acting. However, a lot of people on here are expressing concerns over their child becoming romantically involved with a roommate. </p>
<p>The way some colleges are treating accusations of rape these days, if I had a son I would strongly warn him against rooming with a girl who was not his GF. Just such a potential minefield.</p>
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<p>This reminds me of a joke a dormmate once made about parental outrage linking mixed gender bathrooms with greater likelihood of romantic involvement/hookups. </p>
<p>The punchline was that if anything, such arrangements would have the exact opposite effect. Most traditionally college-aged students tend to be turned off to such factors after seeing men/women at their worst doing whatever business one does in the bathroom. In short, if there are any parental worries…it’d be more along the lines of their students being much more inclined towards celibacy. :D</p>
<p>@thumper1 my college selection is done and my parents and I both know about financial aid. As for my lack of other college related questions, If you didn’t notice, I posted a question about the letter of intent section on USC’s common app. I’m currently working on my essay and will post in the essay section looking for someone to look at it. </p>
<p>I have only had this account for about a week and with school there isn’t always much time for me to come on here and post. </p>
<p>And for those of you wondering if I am a journalist, as wonderful as CC is, I can’t cite it as a source for ANY article because a lot of things here are anecdotal.</p>
<p>Newsie, it might help if you laid out different scenarios. </p>
<p>There are difference between:</p>
<ul>
<li>Being randomly assigned a roommate who is opposite gender</li>
<li>Specifying a particular roommate who happens to be opposite gender … a platonic friend</li>
<li>Specifying a particular roommate who is opposite gender … a person you are romantically involved with</li>
</ul>
<p>And there are differences between</p>
<ul>
<li>A shared bedroom (two twin beds in one room)</li>
<li>A suite set-up where there is a common space but each person has a separate sleeping area</li>
<li>Fully separate bedrooms such as what an apt would have</li>
</ul>
<p>I think, like a Chinese menu, you have to pick one from the first and one from the second to have us react to “how we feel about it.” I wouldn’t be comfortable with my kid randomly being assigned an opposite gender roommate in a shared-bedroom situation, but I would be fine with them picking a platonic friend in an off campus apartment with separate bedrooms. Indeed, I’d prefer a platonic friend in an off campus apartment than I would a romantic partner, not because I object to premarital sex or living together, but I think it’s not wise in college to do that.</p>
<p>I would probably be against romantic partners sharing a dorm room (such as one bedroom) because it would likely cause a lot of headache for housing to “move kids” when they break up mid-year…which would likely happen many, many times per year…and even mid-semester.</p>
<p>Platonic friends…no problem. </p>
<p>I would not be against rooming with the opposite gender in senior year in case of a relationship.
If any of the conditions above are not true, then I woule not let my kid to do it. I do not have any opinion for others, they ahve their own parents to watch over them. </p>
<p>I’ve lived in various coed apartments. It is a complete non-issue. Sharing a room with a random stranger of one’s own gender is tough enough. I don’t think people should be assigned a roommate of another gender. I also think that it’s a bad idea for couples to room together, because if they break up or aren’t getting alone, there’s nowhere to hide.</p>
<p>Three’s Company was on the TV when at least half the people I knew lived in coed houses or apartments. But the entire presmise was that it was somehow salacious. Bizarre…</p>
<p>Who else thought of the 1960s novel The Harrad Experiment while reading this thread?</p>
<p>My daughter who has for the past two years been in on-campus suite style apartments, wished her school allowed co-ed suites. She does not want to share her bedroom with anybody of the opposite sex (including her boyfriend) but would love male suitemates. She has had her fill of catty female suitemates!</p>
<p>I’m with Cobrat. Too much familiarity at that age is likely to kill any romance. According to my D, the coed hall (by room) fosters a brother-sister type of relationship with the opposite gender. It’s considered “dormcest” to engage in a relationship with a hall mate.</p>
<p>I’m fine with my kid sharing a suite style room or apartment with the opposite gender, but I’m opposed to a randomly assigned same bedroom situation. </p>
<p>^ I’m marrying the guy who lived right below my room for two years 
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