My alma mater (a selective LAC) specifically says that we should NOT talk about grades or SAT scores or anything like that. We can ask what classes they like, what interests them most, etc. But we are directly told not to ask for anything like a transcript. (In addition, as I mentioned before, saying that the interview must be in a public location).
@TTdd16, we get these threads every year. Every time the person worrying comes back and says it was no big deal. 90+% of the time a spouse or some other person is around, too. Again… I think this is an overreaction. Tell your D not to go to frat parties – this is silly.
I think totally not fine.
Correct, She will be exposed to more difficult situations in future, and this being the first one, she should start handing it by requesting to meet in a public place. Let this be the first time where she expresses being not comfortable. Why let a dangerous situation even arise, when you can control it from the onset by requesting a change to public place. Why even take the risk, when there is no need to.?
Yeah… but the question was, “Is this odd?” And in the scheme of how college interviews have historically been done, it is not. It is perfectly normal.
My Yale interview was in an alumni’s home a few towns over 42 years ago. My classmate drove herself and I remember feeling inadequate when I had to fess up that my parents drove me and were waiting in their car outside. Still, for young women safety first. I’m sure alumnus is probably harmless, but why put women in awkward risky situations? Yes, Men can be sexually assaulted to, but sexual assaults is more common for females.
Closed door meeting in an office ( public nearby, practically out side the door) is entirely different than in a residential Home. Not a correct comparison in my opinion.
Intparent, it is not “perfectly normal” in 2017 in the same way that having a coach hold sleepovers in his home for young boys is no longer normal post Penn State. History is just that- history. It was perfectly normal to interview kids in your home in 2001 but not in 2017. Why is this hard for you to understand?
@intparent, I certainly will advise my daughter not to go to frat parties—if it’s a frat party of substantially older men who are strangers that she’ll be alone with. (Perhaps you should study the term “false equivalence.”) No, this situation is not “perfectly normal” anymore, as evidenced by post #59. Again, I think the OP should contact the school to find out its policy, not contact the interviewer directly. He potentially isn’t following the rules, which the college should know about, and at any rate, the interview can simply be reassigned to a different alum, with no repercussions to the student. All the students I know spend a fair amount of time in coffee shops, and that’s going to be a much more comfortable environment for them, safety concerns aside. If the idea of an alumni interview is to offer further insight into an applicant, having them feel comfortable with you is important.
Ttdd16, if you think the risk is from older men, you have not examined assault statistics. Her peers are the danger, not middle aged or elderly men, statistically. In any event, you aren’t correct that the student will be more comfortable in a coffee shop. My interviewees probably were not, as their classmates enjoyed observing them. Every venue has its drawbacks.
I am the OP. Which scenario has the best potential outcome for D, or less chance of negative with this one interview: kind email to the alum requesting a coffee shop location? Or phone call to the school asking about their policies and requesting different person do the interview? I don’t want to be identified as the PITA family. At least one earlier poster suggested that could happen.
@roycroftmom, the point is the comparison was completely ridiculous. A frat party with peers is not the same as a professional interview. And I disagree with you on the coffee shops. I’m in an area with many and have conducted multiple alumni interviews at shops, without any issue and with students clearly more comfortable than when I used to do these in my home years ago.
A kind email is better, in my opinion
I would have your daughter email the alum and request a coffee shop location. Is there one near his/her home? I don’t think it is an unreasonable request. I the alum can’t do that, the college will assign someone else.
My younger daughter did her interview at her LAC with one of the admissions officers. It was on the same day she went to visit the school. It was on a weekday in November–D decided to add the school at the last minute.
SOP for the longest time for my school was to conduct interviews at home or in the office. It was driven by the interviewer and interviewee’s schedule and convenience. Many of my interviewee’s preferred a home interview when given a choice, my guess being that they felt that the environment would be more comfortable and less intimidating. I understand times and sensitivities change and evolve, but it is amusing that there is such fear of the “unknown” older interviewer. The nature of the interviewers have not changed (generally successful alums who are proud of and passionate about their alma maters), but clearly the sensitivities of the interviewed and their parents have. I understand that perfectly well, and see the merits of doing interviews at the local Starbucks or other public space. I personally prefer this environment, one where both parties can be more relaxed. However, I also believe this forum is one where we are trying to help candidates and their families make decisions that will optimize their chances of getting into the colleges they are interested in.
While interviews rarely have a significant impact on admission decisions, I do believe that it is more likely a negative review could tip the scales against a candidate than a positive one will help a candidate. If an applicant is uncomfortable with an interview in a non-public forum, they definitely should try to tactfully get the venue changed to an environment where they will be more comfortable and have a more positive interaction. If an applicant is unconcerned, why risk starting the interaction on the wrong foot because it offends mommy or daddy’s sensibilities over a risk that is infinitesimal.
OP, in answer to your post #69, assuming your daughter is uncomfortable, a kind email or a call to the alum from your daughter (perhaps even tagging you as the person who wants to change the location) is the better route IMO. Depending on where you live, this particular alum may be the only interviewer for this LAC.
Definitely NOT a kind email. That could backfire with the interviewer. Contact the college admissions office, explain the situation, and ask your daughter be reassigned. Again, it’s very possible this person isn’t following the proper procedures and you certainly wouldn’t be the only parent who would have this concern. Does anyone know of colleges that DO still allow this practice on a regular basis? (As an interviewer for an Ivy, I can tell you that assignments do change fairly often for various reasons. I just had to turn down a couple because I’m not able to do ED with my schedule and somehow the district enrollment director didn’t get the message. No big deal. She’s reassigning them to another alum.)
An older alum might have trouble hearing in a coffee shop.
The comparison with frat parties is completely ridiculous, because your daughter is demonstrably in danger of sexual assault at a frat party, given that there is a long history of sexual assaults associated with frat parties all over the US, while as far as I know there is actually zero history of sexual assaults associated with alumni interviews, wherever they are conducted.
That’s not to say that going to a frat party means subjecting yourself to sexual assault. There are lots and lots of frat parties with lots and lots of young women in attendance, and most of them are not assaulted. On any given night, there may be many frat parties where no young women are sexually assaulted. But going to a frat party means a young woman going into a situation where she will be in contact with precisely the type of person most likely to assault her – young male peers who are acquaintances, friends of friends, and who are drinking – and also that she will probably be drinking, too, which increases the risk that she will be assaulted, and it’s precisely the sort of context in which many documented sexual assaults occur…
None of that is true of alumni admissions interviews.
^ then a library is a perfect location. I have done outreach efforts in such a place.
When D1 was applying to colleges, she did all of her interviews at someone’s home. She drove herself to those interviews, I knew when she was going to be there and she called me when she left. I was a fairly cautious parent with my girls, but I really didn’t think D1 was at much of risk. I also knew she would tell me if anything was wrong.
Recently D2 went out to dinner with an older gentleman (80) from my apartment building. They met because he was always in the lobby when D2 was going to work in the morning. It turned out he was a partner at a law firm before he retired and he was interested in D2’s work at US Attorney’s office. He recently lost his wife and he didn’t have any kids. They had a lovely time at dinner. D2 very much enjoyed his company. I could have told D2 not to go because it was potentially dangerous, but she would have missed out on an opportunity to spending time with an interesting person. I felt comfortable because I knew D2 would text me if there was any problem, and more importantly I knew where he lived and he knew that I knew where he lived.
For all the time I have been on CC and have known many parents with college age kids, I have never heard of any young adults been taken advantage of by their interviewers.
What worries more is my girls at work places. I have had many discussions with my girls about what to and not to do at work’s social functions, when entertaining clients and traveling with co-workers, etc.
I too am sorry to see such wariness and paranoia, which often leads to both genders withdrawing from mentoring the other. Being able to accurately assess risk is an important and often overlooked life skill, although each person will come to their own conclusions as to what level is acceptable. Paranoia just obscures real dangers by making the whole world seem scary and the subject anxious about everyone and everything.