<p>Parents, would you restrict your child to certain schools? For example, my good friend says her parents want her to stay in the south. I don't particularly know why. I mean, she's a millionaire and can afford to go anywhere she wanted. Her parents feel california is too far away and the northeast as well. I don't understand this. My parents have always felt that it was my decision. When considering applying to U of London, my parents laughed and said, "well, if you want to, go ahead!" </p>
<p>Would you restrict your child to a certain region? Why or Why not?</p>
<p>**If it's for financial reasons I understand.</p>
<p>When I grew up, my parents said I could go to college anywhere within a three-hour radius of NYC (Cornell excluded - they thought Cornell was basically next door, as it was in New York State), and provided I could figure out how to pay for it. I chose the far northern reaches (closer to 4 hours, but they didn't know...)</p>
<p>I tell me kids they can go anywhere they want on the planet, provided it is within a 3-day airplane ride of home. Exceptions can be made if there is a strong argument.</p>
<p>(I have one daughter who is currently 8,000 miles away, though at one point it was 12,000; the other one is aiming at 3,000, but with significant time in the Middle East.)</p>
<p>Distance wouldn't be a factor for me, but many friends have limited their kids' choices for distance reasons. One family had a "3 hours by car" rule. All were concerned about ability to get to their child in an emergency.</p>
<p>One wanted the child to be able to come home for important family events. Now, for every family, what rates as truly important varies greatly. This family is the type that would never allow a child to miss the birthday of a cousin, aunt, or grandparent.</p>
<p>I don't know that I would "restrict", but I would certainly include consideration of travel logistics and cost into the equation viz-a-viz the unique advantages of the particular distant school.</p>
<p>The travel logistics could apply equally to a distant school and one that is closer but hideously inconvenient/expensive for air travel. Most of us don't have the luxury of sending the family jet to pick up Biffy and Buffy for school breaks.</p>
<p>These are all issues that must be weighed by each individual family. I don't see any inherent "rights" or "wrongs". Just some of the many individual priorities that go into selecting a college. Your family's priorites may well be different than my family's priorities, hence the selection of different schools. The vast majority of US college students attend a school less than 3 hours from home by car. You see this regional bias at EVERY school, including the very top ranked schools. For example, Yale draws heavily from the Northeast; Stanford draws heavily from the West Coast.</p>
<p>My answer would depend on my child, my family situation and my finances.
It can be very expensive and inconvenient for a student to go far from home. This can make it difficult for parents to transport the student to and from college (something that many parents enjoy doing). It also can be difficult for the student to fly to and fro especially if the college or home is in an area that is prone to major weather problems like blizzards or hurricanes.</p>
<p>There also are students who due to psychological or physical problems would be better off being closer to home so they can continue to easily get the medical attention that they need. And, there are students who are too immature to be far away from home for college.</p>
<p>30+ years ago, my parents told me that I couldn't apply to schools west of Chicago, because there was nothing there that I couldn't get in the East that they were willing to pay for. I understood that then, and I would kind of understand it now (although air fares are much cheaper, relatively, and flights more plentiful). I also note that both of my younger sisters went to college in the Far West . . . in one case, they WERE willing to pay for the difference, and in the other the cost was actually a lot lower than her East Coast options.</p>
<p>Some people really hate the idea of being out of touch, of not being able to visit without making it a multi-day big deal. My daughter is 700 miles away, and I have to admit that I envy my friend who is picking his daughter up at the airport tomorrow (coming back from a trip), driving her to college, and driving back. I would LOVE to have that three hours of car-time with my kid, or for her to be able to come home for a long weekend or something. Obviously, I didn't tell her not to go to the school she attends -- I love it -- but I can see the trade-offs, and to some parents (and some kids) in some families they may loom larger. (For example, a kid with a chronic medical condition who may need occasional hospitalization . . . I know one of those, too. His family really wanted to be within driving distance.)</p>
<p>At the margins, location can make a pretty big difference. My daughter chose not to apply to a CC-favorite LAC (in Portland) that was on her list for a long time, essentially because there were no cheap direct flights from our city, so travelling to and from home would always be very time consuming and/or very expensive. If it had seemed like a perfect school for her, she might still have applied (and we would have let her), but she didn't really like it any more than other, more convenient options. (Good thing, too, because Sleater-Kinney broke up and Dandy Warhols went downhill, and those were huge plusses in Portland's favor two years ago.)</p>
<p>When I was a senior in h.s., I was accepted to UT-Austin School of Architecture (my dream career), but my father, the overprotective type, wouldn't let me leave 'the farm' for big bad Austin. I ended up at a school that didn't offer architecture, dropped out of college after my junior year, returned to college after getting married, graduated with an accounting degree and became a CPA. I am a good CPA, but the work never thrilled me the way I envisioned architecture would. </p>
<p>I swore, as long as we could afford it, my husband and I would never put such limitations on our kids. So here we are...with ldgirl attending school 1200 miles from home. It's tough having her so far away, but we're adjusting.</p>
<p>I know a man whose mother told him to go AT LEAST 500 miles from home. I think I will do the same for all of my children. I didn't get far away from home until I lived overseas (my undergraduate alma mater was in the same metropolitan area where I grew up), so it wasn't until then that I had my real "spread my wings" experience. I think my kids can benefit from getting that earlier.</p>
<p>What if the kid stays there after graduation?
Don't want to be that far away from the future grandkids.</p>
<p>But yes, we would let ours go cross country if they so desired. S wasn't interest in anything very far away though, so he will probably be within a 4-hour car drive or 1-hop Southwest flight from home.</p>
<p>We weren't draconian about it, but we did strongly suggest to our D that she go somewhere that was either accessible by Amtrak or within reasonable driving distance. If she had been dying to go to California we would have let her, but she's very much an East Coast city person, so the farthest away she looked was Chicago. As it is, she's 3 hours away by train and about 4 by car. This has worked out very well for breaks - she can get herself here and back from school with ease on the train - and when a car is necessary in the fall and spring to transport all her stuff the drive isn't a big hassle for us. Well, once you get off the NJ Turnpike, that is. :)</p>
<p>My friend’s D had a heart transplant three years before going to college, and she limited how far she could go, and I would do the same in a case like this.</p>
<p>No restrictions, although we are trying to be realistic about the fact that we won't be able to bring her home for school breaks if she goes too far. She applied to 2 schools that are 3000 miles away in opposite directions. The rest of her schools are as close as 45 minutes away, as far as 7 hours by car.</p>
<p>No restrictions. But S had to understand that he'd be flying to CA alone, and he'd ony get two tickets a year for Xmas and summer breaks. That was OK with him. With email and cheap long distance phone plans it's not like the old days--we don't feel out of touch.</p>
<p>I think other posters have summed up my feelings on this - it depends on the child, the finances and other circumstances.</p>
<p>I'll turn this around - we did not put any restrictions on my D, she put a few on herself, decided she did not want to go to the West Coast, mostly because of distance. She's a soph, 1300 miles from home. I think now she probably wouldn't make a different decision, but I think she would agree with the idea that separation from home is a factor of state of mind as much as it is distance. One could be geographically much closer and still independent in outlook. She would also agree that being in a rural area far from home is more of a pain than being convenient to an airport. Finally, we all miss the long weekends we could have had with her closer. We are trying to get up to see her once every 6 months, but it is expensive.</p>
<p>Looking to my younger child, who wants to be closer to home and to stay in the South, I will worry more about him driving back and forth than I have over my faraway D. It would have been nice during freshman year to bring her some "chicken soup" when she was ill, but it is not worth worrying over the driving.</p>
<p>It depends on the child and a number of circumstances; health issues, finances, home situation.<br>
The actual distance is not as big of a deal, (though I would have to think about outside of ConUSA for a number of reasons) as much as the time and trouble it takes to get to place. More than 3 or 4 hours of tedious driving to get to a school is a definite drawback in my opinion, and there has to be an outstanding reason to consider such a place. Particularly if weather and road conditions enroute can be treacherous.<br>
My good friend had a son at a school 3 and a half hours away, and it posed a number of problems for the family. She is not well; heart condition, and the drive was very hard on her. No decent bus, train or plane routes there. When her husband had a stroke, and the son wanted to get home, it was another problem on the plate at a time no one needed it. Getting back was another issue. With funds tight, any trip to the school for the parents meant an overnight stay, and a financial issue. Since the school was the town's industry, the limited hotel venues were very pricey especially for that podunk location, so they would always stay a good hour away, another thorn in the side.<br>
Though both of our boy were further away for college, their schools were about an hour away flight wise, with airports within a half hour each way. Still a 3-4 hour duration, door to door, but you are not at the wheel. I can do a round trip in a single day, and very easily with an overnight stay with many inexpensive hotels within 15 minutes of the airport or school. Going there at the beginning and end of the year is made easy by combining a car rental with a one way air ticket, and done in a single day with no overnights. Should my kids want to go to college near where close relatives live, again the distance, trouble and expense is mitagated. These are all factors that I would consider, though would probably still not veto a school if all else is a go.</p>