Would you restrict your child from going to a school because of distance from home?

<p>Distance would certainly be a factor in the pre-acceptance phase - we visited a couple in-states but not any OOS. Now that an acceptance has come in from the East Coast (we live near Seattle) we are going to visit (and see a face in the FinAid office). I guess it can also come down to disposable income - some take an annual trip to Hawaii/Mexico/Europe too, so taking a long trip to see a college campus that may not even grant admission (especially a "reach" school) is no problem for some. I'll stick with making a visit when a decision has to be made - after an acceptance letter, FAFSA is done, and FinAid has already given you their bottomline.</p>

<p>My daughter got a nice merit offer from a college added as a last minute safety that she had never visited -- nor had previous contact with. Some colleges do advertise priority deadlines for consideration for some of their merit aid -- but the reality is that they typically offer aid to RD students too -- and their enrollment management practices often favor students who are latecomers to the process and seem less likely to attend (and thus need more money to attract them). </p>

<p>And you can apply EA to college, and meet whatever their priority deadline is, with or without visiting. </p>

<p>I think it was a big help to my daughter to visit Barnard and interview on campus. I think my daughter made a strong impression on her interview, and the fact that she had traveled by herself, during the school year, to visit the campus probably also made an impression. Her interview also probably was a big factor in building her own enthusiasm for the school. </p>

<p>But I don't think it made much of a difference at the colleges where she wasn't able to interview. Most of the colleges she was considering had some sort of local event, with many ad coms even coming to her school -- and the information she got that way was equivalent to what was given on campus information sessions.</p>

<p>
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I can't imagine this list being 4 schools long and possibly looking like a list I'd recommend to anyone applying to MIT and Caltech ... it would be way too short.

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<p>Actually I can. Looking at our school's admittence rates, I figured RPI was a sure bet for our kid. They have a speeded up application process where they accept you three weeks after first quarter grades are in. He knew he was in late November or early December. MIT and Caltech were matches, but of course because of acceptence rates reaches for everyone. Then pick one more match school - say Carnegie Mellon, or whatever floats your boat. Not saying that's what my son did - he applied to eight schools - three more reachy matches and one more safety. Mostly because he hasn't done the visits to determine whether he likes RPI or WPI better.</p>

<p>This sort of short list I believe works better for techie kids where there are some excellent schools with very favorable admissions rates for kids with good scores and grades and less dependence on the less measurable parts of the application.</p>

<p>Bookworm, 3togo's list looks fine to me. It just depends on what your priorities are. For example my kid had three priorities resulted in the following.</p>

<p>Priority 1 - top school in Computer Science
MIT, Standford, Carnegie Mellon</p>

<p>Priority 2 - top school in science or overall (geeky culture a plus)
Harvard, Harvey Mudd, Caltech</p>

<p>Priority 3 - excellent tech school
RPI and WPI</p>

<p>The list might have looked somewhat different if he had not also been influenced by two other wishes. "I don't like hot weather and no red states." Size of school or location near cities was irrelevant. And yeah I know it gets hot in Pasadena. But it's a DRY heat. :)</p>

<p>I think the reason for a longer list is if you need merit aid and the students is STILL not sure of what they want from a college. My son started off thinking he wanted to major in computer science or IT. He visited both RIT and Drexel. Fall of senior year and partway through his third computer programming class he had huge doubts about wanting to sit in front of a computer for any length of time (except for playing computer games) and thought that a liberal arts education would suit him better. His compromise was to apply to LAC's that had IT or computer science (just in case he did want to go that route), two state schools because they had lots of majors to choose from and one college that had what he really thought he wanted - game design focused more on the storyline then the programming aspect. He was accepted to the game design college but not into that major. All in all he had 7 college acceptances to choose from. This did make for a rather stressful April but in the crucial fall time when he had to send in his applications we all thought it was better to just get the applications in. For an average student like him (that's American avg., not CC 3.9 avg.) it was just as much about the colleges selecting him as him selecting the colleges. </p>

<p>So, even though he started visiting colleges at the end of summer before his junior year, it was a good while before he realized what he didn't want, and even longer before he figured out what he might want. When our son changed his mind about a potential major our focus went to what colleges that we had already visited would help him figure out a major with a good first year program. </p>

<p>I think it's 100% easier if you have a student who has a potential major to begin with. My daughter knew she wanted to be an ed major, no question about it. So then it was all about finding schools that had that major and appealed to her, had a good study abroad program, had hands on teaching early on, were affordable and she could get in. </p>

<p>As an undeclared student at a LAC who is still unsure of a major, let alone an end career, I think a long list of schools to apply for makes sense - even if you can't squeeze in those visits.</p>

<p>my parents are allowing me to go anywhere in the states... im still trying to convince them about europe though. im one of the few people i know that are allowed to go further than a day's driving distance though...</p>

<p>I would imagine that in most instances parents these days want students nearby so they can be available when their students need them. It may take being a parent yourself (many years from now) before you can fully appreciate the concerns that parents have about their students being hundreds or thousands of miles away. My family lived in Houston when I chose to go to college in Virginia in the late 70s and then studied in England my jr. yr. It was a huge leap for me and I didn't think much of it then. Now that my D is a college freshman at an East Coast college and has plans to study abroad, it all looks very different in the 21st century. Like you, she was one of the few students we knew looking beyond Texas to go to school. She has one Texas friend who attends Carnegie Mellon Univ. He loves it and has "finally found his tribe," as his mother says with joy. He spent numerous months explaining to people where CMU is as many Texans don't seem to know anything about colleges outside the Lone Star State. As I was told 30 years ago by a well-meaning Lions Club member, "why are you going out of state when the best colleges are right here in Texas?" When parents set limits on where a student can go to college, I really think they have the student's best interests at heart.</p>

<p>I don't know abou the "best interests" at heart...sometimes those interests are financial, but I would be some are selfish</p>

<p>My D has a friend who wants her daughter to stay close so mom can visit...that is mom's best interest, not daughter who whould love to go to another state but feels guilty</p>

<p>My D is leaving California for college, east coast, with a plan to go to england or scotland or wherever for a year</p>

<p>I would think it would be easier now for a kid to go away to school- flights are easier, the internet, more kids have traveled, they have connections in other cities.</p>

<p>It seems kind of sad in a way that kids don't want to explore a bit more if they are able.</p>

<p>My H left Ireland at 22, with nothing, some savings, a couple of suitcases and did very well</p>

<p>People go to WAR at 18, people left Europe, Africa and numerous other places with little to come to America and work, and many do very well at young ages, for centuries people have been venturing off to explore, grow, and change the world</p>

<p>Why in these days do parents want them close...are they thinking there kids are incapable of dealing? I would think these days it would be easier to let them explore the world</p>

<p>I understand, a bit, the need to be available, I guess if the student needs them, but that isn't giving the student much credit</p>

<p>The concept never crossed my mind.</p>

<p>I never asked mine to stay close, but after having one son go through two emergency surgeries in 3 semesters--I'm sure glad he did.</p>

<p>
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When parents set limits on where a student can go to college, I really think they have the student's best interests at heart.

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<p>I would never make such a categorical statement. The furthest I would go is "Maybe" and "Sometimes." Not all parents are altruistic, other-centered saints. One of D's friends is at U/Chicago over her parents strenuous objections. Their response was to give her not a dime of support...she's making it work. Oddly enough, when she first told me what her interests were, I mentally sized her up and said, "U/Chicago would be a really good fit for you." I think she wound up exactly where she needed to be. And, no, for her, UCLA or UC San Diego or Berkeley or even Stanford would not have been as down the middle of the plate for her...though the first three would have been much cheaper and all four would have been closer to home.</p>

<p>When we first started the college search last year, I was shocked at how many parents were setting a distance limit. I'm no longer shocked; I'm sure different families have different situations that are hard to judge from the outside. But I'm grateful my parents put no limits on where I could go and we're putting no limits on our son either. Interestingly, most of his "best fit" schools are half-way across the country, in the Great Midwest.</p>

<p>Bethievt, I'm not surprised your S finds a good fit in midwest. He seems bright enough to academically succeed anywhere, but he is looking for quality of life. Stil, I suspect there are LACs between Phila and VT that would be good</p>

<p>When I lived in Mass, I also thought that most students could find the right fit within a 2 hour drive. Exceptions include a close friend who wanted a warm climate, and has never left the SE since.</p>

<p>Actually I would consider restricting my child from attending a school that was too close to home,unless,of course,it was a near perfect match. College is a time of significant growth toward adulthood and remaining too close to home may retard the process slightly.</p>

<p>bookworm</p>

<p>There are tons of great schools out here. A lot of the schools that would otherwise be a good fit for him in the Northeast tend to be more preppy. And besides, he's ready to get out of Dodge...needs some space. He wouldn't even consider any in-state school. ACKK!!! There might be someone from his HS going there!!!</p>

<p>I view college choice as a matter of individual destiny; therefore I don't think it's wise to restrict college applications by distance (unless there are compelling health or familial concerns, financial or otherwise). Let the fledgling eagle fly free, I say. </p>

<p>I'd advocate that if the student is choosing from a set of personal, meaningful priorities (a program, an educational style, EC priorities, etc.) he/she should be unrestricted with respect to location.</p>

<p>We visited every US college my son applied to, but the university he attends was chosen sight unseen. It is 3700 miles away, and it means a minimum of three round trip flights per year. For him, it was the perfect choice, and his inner wisdom recognized it. It went down exactly the way it should. His college experience thus far has been even better than his most optimistic hopes had envisioned. I'm quite relieved, in hindsight, that I didn't place any obstacles in his path.</p>

<p>Though I fully understand the financial side of this issue, a "good-fit" is VERY important for us as students. I think some parents (mine included) think every college is the same and it is "just an education" and that wherever you go, it will be the same thing. But for me as a student, environment is just as important as the education itself. If I live in a place I dread, or I dread talking to uninteresting people/professors at the university I'm in, I'll never make the slightest effort to push myself and succeed beyond doing homework or studying before a test.</p>

<p>I would HATE if my parents put a limit on the schools I can attend just based on distance or any other 'superficial' issue like that. Parents eventually have to let go and for us to have your trust makes us more responsible and it makes us grow up... In my opinion of going through this at the moment, If you're going to set restrictions as far as college goes, make them financial not distance-related. That's the perfect way to kill your child's dreams and show them how you don't trust them to do the right(s) thing wherever they are...</p>

<p>Remember you only go to college once and it's supposed to be the best time of our lives. Your parents are always going to be there, even while in college (at the expense of $400), but the possibility of attending a dream school and having the time of your life won't... just my $.02.</p>

<p>"Your parents are always going to be there, even while in college (at the expense of $400), but the possibility of attending a dream school and having the time of your life won't... just my $.02."</p>

<p>Your parents aren't always going to be there. I know a girl who's now a college junior who was rejected by one of her dream schools and then couldn't afford to go to another. She ended up commuting to the local public university. </p>

<p>Her freshman year, her mother unexpectedly dropped dead at work of a brain aneuryism. Five months later to the day, her dad unexpectedly died of a heart attack. </p>

<p>Because the girl was attending college close to both of her parents, she was able to have had more contact with them before their deaths than she would have at either of her dream schools, both of which were at least 1,000 miles away.</p>

<p>Back to the subject; I personally wouldn't not let a kid go far away to college just because I wanted him or her close. However, I think that it's up to each parent to decide what they're willing to pay for. If the students don't like what the parents are offering, then the students can find another way to attain their dreams or the students can find a way to have a fulfilling time at the place where their parents are willing to send them.</p>

<p>I also don't think that college is supposed to be the best time of one's life. Virtually any time of your life can be the best time depending on your attitude. While i went to my first choice school, there were many other times in my life -- including while I have been middle aged-- that I have found just as or more enjoyable.</p>

<p>Your parents may not "always be there" but you can't live your life with the possiblity that mom may get hit by a bus...by that I mean, you do need to appreiciate, love, communicate, etc...but to not do what you can and are able to do, ie go to a school faraway shouldn't be tempered by the idea that someone may get sick, or die, or whatever</p>

<p>If we thought that way, we would paralize ourselves.</p>

<p>Finances are a different part of the equation aside from "want my kid to be close"..two considerations to make, but if money was not a big issue, I think that is what we are referring to.</p>

<p>well I guess if you involve the extremes, a lighting can strike your car while driving home or a tree can fall on top of you while walking in the park... that's a sad story and though you're right we don't have guarantees, those are rare, extreme cases IMO. I think living your life worried about any injuries/illnesses or anything that can happen to you or your loved ones is a sad way of living. I guess I should have worded it better though...</p>

<p>I don't know how going to school, learning, being with friends 24/7 and having virtually no responsibilities outside of your school work can't be the best time of your life. I'm enjoying every minute of it and even though I do hope to work in something I truly enjoy eventually, I really don't look forward to getting out of school and seeing my responsibilities increase by 5-fold or more for the rest 30-40 years...</p>