<p>I can't emphasize enough to check the logistics. My daughter is 6.5 hours away by car. The $120 to $150 round trip direct-flight airline fares are a godsend.</p>
<p>There was a fairly long thread on this topic not too long ago. It prompted me to start a separate thread on the subject of the problem with kids going far away to college - marriage.</p>
<p>i have medical problems..my parents want me nearby but when my parents said a college nearby(but they told me i could stay on campus) i mean 5 minutes away so i wouldnt have to adjust my opinion is its them adjusting they will have to do b/c if i move 5 minutes away they could just come by whenever they want..ive decided on i good private school that has a good program for kids w/ adhd..(not my med problem tho i have had brain surgeries) thats 2 hours away by car..and a couple 4 hours away</p>
<p>I think it might depend on where you live. Some people have a complete and wonderful selection of schools within 6 hours of their house. Others might have to go 1000 miles to find one decent school. </p>
<p>From my viewpoint, we are in the former group. I don't have much interest in super expensive airplane tickets for my kids. I'd prefer to use those tickets myself. :D (BTW my son is 350 miles away, about a $200 ticket, 2 or 3 time a school year. That's about my limit.)</p>
<p>Also, some people live near better airports than others, and therefore have cheaper flights Our airport stinks. It costs more to fly to California from here than Europe.</p>
<p>parentofbear, I'm with you - more concerned about too close than too far. I'm always surprised at how many kids in our school go to Columbia. Why would you want to go to school a half hour drive away?</p>
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Why would you want to go to school a half hour drive away?
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</p>
<p>Lots of reasons.</p>
<p>Some people don't particularly like dorm life and would like to go home on the weekends.</p>
<p>Some people don't know whether they would like dorm life and would like to have the option of commuting.</p>
<p>Some people have a lot of friends who are not going away to college and would like to maintain those friendships.</p>
<p>Some people have a boyfriend or girlfriend at home or at another nearby college.</p>
<p>Some people want to be near their families -- often for reasons that have more to do with the family than the student. For example, I know of cases where young people wanted to have the option of going home on weekends because of serious illness in the family or because a parent was recently widowed.</p>
<p>Some people have weekend jobs in their home town. (My son, who attends a state university less than an hour away from home, was offered a job of this sort by the store where he worked during high school. If he had accepted the job, he could have made a substantial amount of money, but he would have had to come home every weekend.)</p>
<p>Some people have medical issues and would like to receive consistent care from one set of doctors, rather than having two sets, one at home and one at college.</p>
<p>And finally, some people simply realize that there's a good college suitable for them that happens to be close to home. Why not go there? This applies, for example, to many of the students at my son's school, the University of Maryland at College Park. UMCP is within an hour's drive of both the Washington suburbs and the Baltimore suburbs; most of the people in Maryland live in one of those places or the other. Would you tell a kid not to go to his own state's flagship state university just because it happens to be conveniently located?</p>
<p>
My daughter is about 3000 miles away and she has to return home this weekend unexpectedly. On Monday I booked her a round trip flight for $279. That price includes a rental car... though we probably won't bother with the car (it's just that I learned a long time ago that the package deals with combined flight/car rental were often the best prices for last minute travel with a short turnaround). </p>
<p>The real issue in terms of airfare is not distance but proximity to major airports. I can get better fares to send my d. to NY any day of the week than for my son to fly to Arcata -- less than 300 miles away, but the only way to get a flight under $400 is to choose one where the travel time is 6 hours or more(!) (longer than it would take to drive) -- a direct (short) flight costs almost $600 round trip. </p>
<p>So basically geographical distance is a very different question than travel time & distance. My son, of course, gets to and from his college in a car full of students (one to drive & the others to share expenses). I honestly think my daughter is safer on the plane.</p>
<p>Parents have to let go.</p>
<p>No restrictions here, but DD made her own list of reasons she wanted to be within a day's drive of either home or the town where grandparents and several cousins are located (which still left all of New England and a good chunk of the mid-Atlantic States):</p>
<p>-there were no educational opportunities for her interests that seemed to require a "fly-in" school
-on short breaks, she'd probably be stranded on campus
-there would be no possibility of a quick weekend drive home to visit HS friends or family
-she didn't feel a strong need to experience a different part of the country</p>
<p>Those seemed like sensible reasons to me.</p>
<p>I would not "restrict" my child from going to a certain school because of distance. However, now that my S is 7.5 hours by car away from home I have realized there are some concerns. Airfare is $369 if you get it in advance and happen to get it at the right time. Taxi from the dorm to the airport is about $30 each way. We can drive there on about 1.5 tanks of gas each way, but it does require an overnight stay of $75-$100 hotel plus another $50 or so food. By driving, we miss 2 days of work. Our S has come home only at Thanksgiving (by air) and at Christmas (by car). We will weigh the time/money issue each time he needs to come home. I think in the back of each mother's mind is the issue of what happens if they need to come home at an unscheduled time. I told my S early in the college exploration process that my umbilical cord didn't reach to the University of Hawaii...and that was the last I heard of that.</p>
<p>I would look at the distance the school is from the nearest airport, and whether there are direct flights at a reasonable price.</p>
<p>I have friends that would restrict it. My one friend said that she feels that there is no reason to need to go so far away, that one could not get there easily within the same day if an emergency would arise. She has one kid 3 hours away, and second child who is 5.5 hours away by car and has amtrak and easy flight access.</p>
<p>I have another friend who sent her D far away with easy access by plane. She now regrets it deeply. Her D is currently ill with a chronic condition (it did not exist when she began college). She would much rather have her D close to home now. When she was in high school they were fighting a lot, and her mother felt the distance between them would be a good idea for both of them. Now the mother is sorry about this decision.</p>
<p>Studiousmom:</p>
<p>What about a train? .</p>
<p>Easy access to public transportation is a big plus, wherever you are. It's nice to have the option of train, plane or bus if a ride home isn't an option.</p>
<p>Amtrak would be 11.5 hours each way for a total of $110. Arrives in home town 1:00 a.m. Return trip to university would require 3:15 a.m. departure...Again, we're weighing time/money. Trains aren't a very good option unless you live along the eastern corridor.</p>
<p>At eighteen your children are adults though. It is time they explore life without their parents looking over their shoulder. Shouldn't the summers and occasional festive breaks suffice for a parent?</p>
<p>You're probably right about Amtrak being mostly an eastern thing. The express trains are a great option (NYC to/from DC or Boston in under 3 hours, and Philly in less than 2). Without the non-stop choice though, it's a different story.</p>
<p>It's not just clingy parents doing the choosing. We know plenty of kids around here whose parents would have happily let them go 'away,' but wanted to stay closer to home. Away would be my choice, but not enough to push a child who didn't feel ready.</p>
<p>I agree, lspf, the "clinging" goes both ways. I would encourage the kids to go away far enough that they meet "different" kinds of people...For some, that could be an hour away; for others, that may be a day away. Some of the friends of my S stayed at a local college and live together. They haven't changed a bit in the first 6 months. My S, on the other hand, has met kids from all over the country. But I also agree that you can't push kids who aren't ready.</p>
<p>My rule was no college within 200 miles of home. D settled for 2,800.</p>
<p>Mini, a quick check via Google shows that ours are both about 6,300 miles away at the moment...great circle routes and all that.</p>
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Would you tell a kid not to go to his own state's flagship state university just because it happens to be conveniently located?
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Yes.</p>
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Shouldn't the summers and occasional festive breaks suffice for a parent?
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Actually...no. We didn't see our D for 5+ months, she was home for 23 days, and we won't see her for 4-1/2+ months. What makes it bearable is that we believe that she's pursuing a course that's great for her, augmented by e-mail and as of the past couple of weeks, some way too expensive phone calls. She e-mailed and asked me to call today just to talk, next call scheduled for Sunday. She spent most of the summer and fall at an internship and will likely spend the bulk of next summer on an internship as well.</p>
<p>Is the occasional holiday enough? No but it must suffice. But I'm more thrilled for her than you can imagine. Distance, shmistance.</p>
<p>"Away would be my choice, but not enough to push a child who didn't feel ready."</p>
<p>I would never recommend that. I believe it is the child's option entirely. What I don't agree with, however, is restricting a child to a particular location. That is possibly forcing them to attend a school they do not desire to attend or preventing them from attending a university of their dreams. It is selfish in my opinion.</p>
<p>My mum doesn't want me to attend college in California, but she is not preventing me from doing so.</p>