<p>We've never put any limits on distance. S applied to schools on the East Coast and in CA and was accepted. Ultimately he chose our state Flagship U, about 300 miles away. It ended up being the best decision for him and for us, he is enjoying the city life and his large urban school, but he is also very happy to be able to see us and his GF on long weekends. :-)</p>
<p>we do have the Western exchange agreement- where for just 50% more than instate tuition- student can attend schools other Western states including Hawaii.
OF course of the CA schools- Berkeley Santa Cruz- San Diego & UCLA are not included ;)
still some good schools to choose from though, that might take the bite out of kids going farther from home than they originally planned
Heck- when my older D was in grade school- we thought she was going to go to the state flagship in our city ! :D</p>
<p>My D for instance would like to go to school in Hawaii-
Im thinking about it, and I will take her for a visit- and transportation will not be the only deciding criteria- but .....</p>
<p>My parents want me at least 150 miles away.</p>
<p>Luckily, I felt the same. I live in California and applied to schools all east of the Mississippi.</p>
<p>CotH, I put myself through college with scholarships, grants, loans, and working, all without any parental support. They say that it builds character. I was adamant that my D's character be built via alternate avenues.</p>
<p>We've been living in China for the last few years and dd will go to school in the US. So it really didn't matter where in the US she applied - everywhere is out of state and far away!!</p>
<p>FireflyScout - I agree. It really bothers us that all the Texas state schools are 95-98% Texan. Unfortunately, For our kids to expand their horizons they have an 8 hour drive in any direction just to get out of Texas. There are a few private schools that have 30+ percent out of staters (still mostly close neighboring states though). But those are hugely expensive. We see it as quite a dilemma..really hate to think about them being a plane ride away..but looks like we are either going to have to pick $30K+ tuition or alot of airfare in order for them to broaden their horizons a little bit. So many parents don't seem to care at all about their kids meeting kids from other parts of the country. I can't really explain why it is so important to us, I guess it was one of the highlights of my undergrad experience though.</p>
<p>More advantages to being close by in my opinion... I go to school 5 miles from home. Didnt have to adjust to a new setting at all, already was familiar with campus. I can still go to the same places to hangout on weekends, see the same doctors, and even keep in better touch with high school friends (as breaks differ, so whenever someone is home, I can see them). I know my way around completely, all and the ins and outs, and can guide others. "Going home on the weekends" does not have to constitute leaving Friday afternoon and returning Sunday night - it can be dropping by for 3 hours, or whatever I want it to be. Attending the state flagship I am saving 25k a year, getting a fine education, and no travel fees. About half the adults I knew growing up are alumni of my school so I automatically have more connections with them. Finally if there is some true emergency where I need to be home, then I can get there in 10-15 minutes. So there are some advantages to staying local.</p>
<p>I also understand if as parents you would be too attached close by to children then they shouldn't be close. That's the only drawback I can see.</p>
<p>(i'm not a parent, but this thread interests me)</p>
<p>I'm currently in a situation where I will probably have to choose between the best university in the UK, Cambridge, which is 20 miles from where I live, or somewhere across the atlantic. Two pretty big extremes.</p>
<p>My mother does mention distance as one reason she would rather I went to cambridge, and of course she is also worried that I may not come back to the UK after my undergrad degree and might choose to stay in the US.</p>
<p>Namaste,
The comfortable thing is the reason we want our children to get out of Dodge. Where is the challenge and the stretching and exploring if everything is already familiar? We are spoiled here on the east coast and in Pennsylvania in particular because you can't drive ten miles without running into a college but my kids wouldn't even look at anything within an hour because they wanted to experience a different part of the country and meet people from all over. My son is sharing a room with boys from St. John's Island, Maryland and Ct.- his college is in VA. My daughter's close friends are from CT, Missouri, Kenya, VA and who knows where else - she's in college in IL. Throw all those kids together (well,not together since they are at different colleges) and then have them experience for the first time a new area with different foods, new roads, things their parents don't even know about and who do you think will have the more exciting college experience? </p>
<p>I'm all for comfort when you're old and have experienced life, but first you have to get out there and experience it.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Sorry qwilde, not that we're ignoring you, but this one is sort of a parent discussion. You might believe it is a child's option, but since you don't actually have kids, nor the financial responsibilities of kids, it is just a little tough for you to see the parent perspective.
[/quote]
Hmm ... I'm a parent but I'm pretty much with qwilde. Anywhere in the continental US (or Canada) and we're OK with it. I certainly hope to have discussions on the pros and cons of being close or far from home with each of my kids but absolutely believe it is their call. If any of 3togo want to head to another continent that probably warrents serious parental input.</p>
<p>In the abstract the argument that holds the least water for me is the argument about getting home in an emergency. If there is a known family situation that is one thing ... but as a abstract possibility ... given the once or twice there might be an issue in the 4 years we'll deal with those special cases when they occur. (Spoken by a person with very few life regrets; one being not getting home from college for my grandmother's funeral ... which was during finals and the travel would have been a pain)</p>
<p>(PS - the biggest "concern" being far from home raises for me is the marriage issue ... if they meet someone local and decide to stay there ... in a perfect world my kids and grandkids live an easy drive from Mom3togo and I. I think this one is a bigger issue for grad school than undergrad for our kids.)</p>
<p>Namaste's choice works for her, kathiep. She's saving 25K a year and looking ahead to the strong alumni network she can jump into a few years down the road. All very smart, mature thought processes for a kid.</p>
<p>You don't necessarily need geographical distance to stretch and explore. My D claims she wants an ocean between her hometown & her college. She's just the type of kid who would love an overseas experience. But great schools like NYU and Columbia are ten miles from our house. I doubt that matriculating at either would be a stiffling or limiting choice, so I'd give my blessing to something right in our backyard. </p>
<p>Out of necessity, I attended college a few miles from home. Commuted by bus or on foot. Later with a junker car. I had a widowed working mom managing a chronic illness. I did the family banking, cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, coordinating doctor appointments & hiring of home repair contractors. Finally being out on my own & independent was a vacation from responsibility, frankly. Lots of kids nowadays are in situations like I was. There are many, many different paths to learning how to make the transition from kid to adult.</p>
<p>I too don't understand the "you must go far away" mentality anymore than the "you can't go far away." Either seems equally controlling.</p>
<p>Like my "neighbor" Sticker said, there are fabulous schools in nYC, and my S felt one was perfect for him. It's not very much like any other school in the country; I suppose I could've insisted he go to U Chicago (the only school somewhat like it) but I don't know what that would have added except expensive travel bills (no frequent flying here) and colder weather. The student bodies are equally diverse--from all over the country.</p>
<p>My D went to a school a little over 100 miles away, still apparently forbidden by some posters. That it was the perfect school for her, one that has a distinct personality which fit her well, seems to me more important than the fact that there was only one state in between there and here. LIke S's school, her friends there came from all over the country.</p>
<p>I guess I just don't know how to raise independent kids.....oh well.</p>
<p>We have drawn a line down the middle of the country, which may seem arbitrary, but that's how it goes. There is really only one west coast school that is suitable for DS's interests anyway, and there are others that are closer that can fill the bill. </p>
<p>Personally, I think the best of all worlds is a few hour train ride away, but we have nothing of the sort to choose from.</p>
<p>These are all very personal decisions. While I think it is great for kids to stretch their wings, I don't think they have to do that 3000 miles away from home, necessarily, unless there is something that can be gained at that school that is uniquely different than from some school which is closer.</p>
<p>as I pointed out earlier ;), a school that attracts students nationally and even internationally, even if it is only 4 hours away, will provide a different experience than a school that is mainly a commuter school, or is regionally based and attracts groups of students who went to high school together.</p>
<p>My daughter attended school in Portland, several of her friends are also from the Northwest-and down to San fran-one is in Ohio in a ph.d program, another has been living in NYC since graduation,the girl that was her partner on the train trips has been living and teaching in Taiwan, another who attended college while living at home has been teaching in Azerbaijan for several years while she decides what grad school to attend.</p>
<p>That doesn't count the friends that she made who were from other parts of the country and came to Portland. Attending undergrad within a days drive of home hardly stamps students as unimaginative, provincial, and hesitant, and I have to wonder at students whose top criteria is to be 7000 miles from home, without using other criteria that is weighted as heavily.</p>
<p>ZG is going about 6 hours away, 7 hours on a train and two planes. We're fine with it, generally, but the logistics of getting her there, orientation, parents' weekend, etc. will be very tough since hubby works both jobs on weekends and we have two little ones. But we'll figure it out.</p>
<p>LadyLou - Is it at all possible for you to visit the school you're interested in attending here in the US? That would be a tough decision without knowing how you feel about the place. And I wouldn't rule out Cambridge just because it happens to be close to home-- what an amazing option to have!</p>
<p>At 46, I live in the same town I grew up in. The only time I ever spent away was during college. I love my home, but do regret never having lived elsewhere. I think if you have a real desire to see the world, though, you'll be able to do it regardless of which school you choose. Plus, there are so many semester and year abroad options now...</p>
<p>I think the collection of opinions here shows that people should do whats right for themselves, and it's different for everyone!</p>
<p>Stickershock, good point - it works for her. Although I don't think you have to stay in state to get a good deal. As I posted on the mediocre students- big merit awards thread, we're not paying much more for our kids private school oos then our in-state publics. I also agree with garland and emeralds points about not having to go hours away to get a college that draws from a national or international group. If we lived in IL and my daughter went to her same college in IL she would still have the diverse student body and great experiences.</p>
<p>As I was driving back from my son's parents weekend last fall I realized that I had been admiring the Blue Ridge mountains all the way South but when I looked around me I realized that we have some darn pretty mountains in PA too. Maybe I should have looked a little harder to see if there was a match school two hours away just like Roanoke....oh, well, I've got one more kid!</p>
<p>garland, </p>
<p>To explain: the main reason we gave an arbitrary "300 miles or farther" rule was because our kid (as of fall senior year) was NOT independent-- and was likely to pick her college based on the city of residence of a much older BF rather than based on her own needs and the best fit. If she had actually been independent I would not have had a problem with her going to school closer to home, because it would have been picked for mature reasons. </p>
<p>I do believe that parents get to vote with their pocketbooks. </p>
<p>We also made it clear to her that certain 'safety' privates at $40K would not be supported over certain highly regarded publics at $20K. I think that sort of 'rule' falls under the same category as a location rule.</p>
<p>But here is what's funny, once she realized she would need to look a bit further afield, the So Cal 'forcefield' was broken altogether and she wound up applying to schools all over the country and loving one far from home. </p>
<p>Finally, if we lived in New England I might have felt differently and made different rules. A big part of my thinking was that So Cal is such a bubble of unreality that I really wanted her to experience a different part of the US as a freebie along with getting an education. IMO it takes at least 300 miles to get you off 'life's a beach' and mentally out of the OC.</p>
<p>lspf72 : At the moment my plan is to visit the colleges that I get accepted to in April, which fortunately coincides with a one month vacation from school so it fits in quite nicely. My main problem with cambridge is not really the distance, England being a much smaller distance than the US, 20 miles is not considered quite on your doorstep, as it might be in a country much larger! I think my mother will also be quite sympathetic to me not particularly wanting her to 'pop over' over weekend, and so will give me space. But, there is also the issue, that I think has been raised briefly in this thread, of going to a school where a number of your peers are going. As it happens my two closest friends who I have lived with at boarding school for the last five years have also won places at Cambridge. I know going off to University is a big change, and I am unlikely to stay totally in the same group of friends, but anyone who knows cambridge will know that the city, nor the university are all that big, and there is a large part of me who totally wants to start a fresh.</p>
<p>The main reason for my preference of the US over UK is probably the course structure; at Cambridge I will be stuck doing Economics for 3 years, albeit at a fantastic uni that will offer some of the best job prospects around after, but I feel that I am the right type of person to study a liberal arts curriculum, and would much rather do so.</p>
<p>Indeed Stickershock. I'm not small town kid going to small town state U either so I'm not missing out on diversity. I guess everyone has their preferences. But is it necessary to restrict a child staying close by UNLESS you are too attached to them (or vice versa) and would be visiting campus every other day?</p>