<p>One very good thing about life at UNC is that the social scene is NOT driven by alcohol as it is at many other places so being a non-drinker does not hurt anyone socially.</p>
<p>msreadalot, let me know how we can get them together without letting them know that we have been talking about them!!!! My D hung with the Intellectual crowd at school also. Where in H.S. they tended to have AP classes or IB classes together, the group is spread out all over the campus now and as I tell people everyone is an intellectual at Carolina (just a matter of degrees). My D is a non drinker as well ans as EADAD said, that is not uncommon but just have to find the groups. I will pm with details. She is also an OS.</p>
<p>Atlmom, msreadalot</p>
<p>Are either of your D's taking Honors classes?</p>
<p>My reason for asking is that I know that my son made many of his good friends in classes and some are still from that group of freshman year Honors classes. In any case, like minded folks always tend to seek out, and eventually find each other either through classes or activities.</p>
<p>I am sure they will be fine shortly.</p>
<p>So, I'm fortunate enough not to be an OS student and have a ton of my classmates here but I'm really just ready to get away from them. We see each other walking around to classes and just kind of shake our heads and say "We're everywhere". In fact, most of us (maybe 90 out of 140 that came) are in the Parker community. We all came from a public magnet school and do still have somewhat of a geeky bond with each other but now that we're not in a small setting we don't really seek each other out.</p>
<p>Oh, I agree that joining clubs and such is a great way to meet people but honestly if you're an introvert it's much easier to do this if you're invited by someone on your hall or in your class to a club meeting because then you kind of feel like you have a reason to be there. <em>My roommate is in Aikido club so I'll probably start going to those meetings</em> I do, however, agree that LotR and popcorn would be fun since I prefer events to be in small groups, crowds are simply daunting.</p>
<p>I can't say that not having enough friends would be enough of a reason for me to transfer schools though. I mean, I visited my friend in UNCG this past weekend and the campus is gorgeous and mercifully smaller but I don't think I could leave Chapel Hill. I mean, even in state you're happy to get in and since I'm in a scholars program I guess that means I do belong here it'll just take some time to adjust.</p>
<p>Anyways, just my two cents. I know when I moved into boarding school the first time I though I should have been more homesick but I was too excited to meet new people that weren't from my gossipy hometown. Here, I feel like I don't have a whole lot of time to do that between classes, homework, and studying but I think the best opportunities to meet people would be on the weekends. The problem with that is that I've heard UNC is a ghost town on the weekends with a lot of instate kids going home leaving the OOS kids feeling very left out. I haven't been here on the weekend yet so I can't really say anything for the truth of the statement.</p>
<p>I suppose us introverts either need to make a club or look to our extrovert counterparts for friend-making habits! Good luck all.</p>
<p>"One very good thing about life at UNC is that the social scene is NOT driven by alcohol as it is at many other places so being a non-drinker does not hurt anyone socially."</p>
<p>what? the only options i've found to do here on the weekends is either go to a frat party or go to someone's dorm and drink till 3 or so. what is this secret social scene that doesn't involve that? i'd love to see it.</p>
<p>ahduke: How many weekends have you actually spent there? Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't classes just start last week? As a freshman, you may have spent 2-- possibly 3? full weekends there-- at most. Plenty of students are there who are not big drinkers. </p>
<p>I really do think you have to give this some time. You're starting a brand new life away from home, your parents, your friends, and you're definitely out of your comfort zone. I think for anyone-- no matter how old they are-- or where they go-- it takes them time to meet like-minded people and start to feel comfortable in their new surroundings. You do have to force yourself to get out, though. This isn't like camp, where some counselor will force people to socialize. You're really on your own here, and while that can be scary and a bit lonely at first, this is also a pretty exciting time for you. As someone else pointed out, starting at a new place, where people don't really know you or have any pre-conceived ideas about you, can be very liberating.</p>
<p>Whatever your interests are, I guarantee you there is an outlet for those interests. Go and volunteer your time in something that you enjoy; people will welcome you and your willingness to get involved. </p>
<p>I think there's nothing worse than homesickness, or feeling that you don't belong. Rest assured, though-- everyone who is new to that campus is feeling the same way way right now-- to some degree. It will get better.</p>
<p>RLA: I cannot envision that campus ever being like a "ghost town" on the weekends, in the summer, or at any time, really-- except maybe at winter break when everybody has to leave. I have an in-state kid who does not come home on the weekends; she knows a slew of other in-state kids who do not go home on the weekends, either.</p>
<p>I think you've been misinformed RLA. UNC is definitely not a ghost town on the weekends according to my d.</p>
<p>I had the same oos problem 30 years ago and I think UNCCH is one place where this a big problem. In most private schools people are from everywhere and from bigger state schools there seems to be less from the same town/school. To make it worse, I was the only one from Florida in my dorm (avery), I mostly surfed in high school and never played basketball (which seems to rule the sports scene), still had my Boston accent, and was the only Catholic both of my roommates had ever met.
I remember all too well the huge classes and eating alone in the cafeteria. Many of the kids I met from NC were white, Baptist, conservative and from small towns. My roommates had never been out of NC and during the first month were seriously arguing with me about the south being right in the civil war (like I really cared or could relate). Many weekends in Sept the whole dorm would empty out of freshman and sophomores who would go home to do their laundry and go to their home high school football games! I wanted to transfer out end of first year and half way through second year.
Things that helped me:
1. I went to the local Newman center (catholic church) and made a group of friends to participate in activities. Many were from OOS.
2. I would just go up to people and talk with them while I ate. This made things a little better but in general few of my suite mates had meal plans and I had three a day for a year!
3. I took honors seminars and had several classes with small groups (Underwater Archeology (8 total) and comparative Germanic Languages (3 total).
4. Many of the frats were made up of people from the same town as well. It was like little Rockingham or Charlotte. Some of them dressed the same, had the same haircuts, cars, and took the same classes. (of course they also had copies of all the old tests for the courses as well).<br>
There are some fraternities with mostly a wide selection of different kinds of students. I pledged end of sophomore year and in my frat the kids were from New England, England, Maryland, Florida and about 1/8 NC.<br>
5. I joined the Carolina Forum and a few other clubs. I did a few dorm intramural sports but again probably ten kids from many towns were in the same dorm and hung out together. </p>
<p>I ended up liking my years at UNC but had some very depressing times and was discriminated against again as an oos student when I applied to UNC med school and was rejected since I was not from NC despite graduating third in my class with highest honors.</p>
<p>Unfortuinately, my main advise is to meet other out of state kids to hang out with for starters.</p>
<p>Eadad, yes my D is taking honors multivariable cal class which is a smaller class but right now everyone is trying to figure out why a professor who hates public speaking is teaching it. JK, she is doing better this week, eating even if alone and getting out and about. I have always said I love chapel hill and think it is a great place for her to grow up, learn and have fun. Just takes time.</p>
<p>I told my D that a lot of these feelings would be there even if she was an hour away at her own state u. Leaving home no matter how far is a huge life change......and the biggest so far in their young lives.</p>
<p>RLAJEN, I think a group for introvert's social club is in order. Popcorn and LOTR are right up my D's alley. That or MLB, midnight frisbee golf, there is much fun to be had. All of you hang in there!</p>
<p>Non football weekends tend to thin out as the semester moves along but I think people at first are laying low due to this harsh heat. That has to improve.</p>
<p>Futureholds: Well, with your attitude (and I'm guessing it was the same 30 years ago), I am not surprised you didn't make many friends.</p>
<p>Things have changed a lot in 30 years, too. Gosh, I don't even think I know any Baptists (and I'm a native North Carolinian!). ;) And what's wrong with Baptists?? Also, plenty of "in-state" kids aren't even from NC, and plenty who are have definitely visited (and even lived in!) other places. Shocking, I know.</p>
<p>As far as being "discriminated against again" when you applied to med school . . . as I'm sure you know, in-state residency is also considered with UNC med school applications (as it is for undergrad). That's not "discrimination;" it's simply a public school supported by its legislature, so in-state residency is considered.<br>
You must be awfully worn out; 30 years is a long time to carry that chip on your shoulder.</p>
<p>I honestly don't even know why I'm posting on this topic anymore, but I will just add here that I'm really dumbfounded as to why people are "giving up" meeting people after being on that campus a total of maybe 10 days or so. Actually, I find it a little bizarre. Maybe some kids have it easier, because they've moved around some and even changed schools a lot when growing up. If you've always gone to the same schools with the same people all your life, never having to make your way and meet new people, I think it can be somewhat difficult, but not a huge obstacle to overcome. People have interests; remember those interests you put on your application as EC's?? Well, get involved in those again.</p>
<p>Oh, I also agree with Atlmom about the heat. I haven't been out of the house in days-- except when I need to. Seriously. Maybe people are staying in air conditioning as much as possible. The heat is miserable here.</p>
<p>All I can say is:</p>
<p>As a fellow OOS freshman myself, I can understand where y'all are coming from but I got lucky enough to end up in a suite of AWESOME girls who i LOVE and have introduced me to their HS friends along with meeting a bunch of random people at parties and classes. SO any of y'all who are feeling bummed, feel free to send me a PM and we can all go to lunch as a group :) I'm a friendly girl, I promise!</p>
<p>I'm an upperclassman (in state), but I remember how bad it was being a lonely freshman (I was ready to get away from my high school friends!)! </p>
<p>I agree with annn...feel free to send me a pm if you want to and we can meet for lunch (my schedule is a little whacko this semester but I'm sure we can figure it out somewhere in there).</p>
<p>lol...jack...not my kid (lying low due to heat). She's out trying to grow tomatoes behind Kenan! And she's very concerned that now instead of the Pit Preacher they have the Sweaty Preacher.</p>
<p>Come on people...it's too early to be upset or worried. Just give yourself and everyone else time to acclimate! Visit the Pit and check out the boards for activities. Did everyone know there was a volunteer fair today? If you missed it, go to the website and check for contacts...I'm sure it's not too late to sign up. When I was in college, I waitressed at a pizza joint once or twice a week, to meet people and make friends (and to pay for my cerulean blue oil paints).</p>
<p>(That 30 years ago thing doesn't sound remotely like the UNC I've seen...)</p>
<p>AtlMom, I hope you got my PM. The wheels are in motion. Waiting for contact from secret agent D.</p>
<p>I'm so sorry to hear of yalls experiences so far...</p>
<p>I'm oos and having a wonderful time! Thanks to last CTOPS, an "honors" dorm, and many out of state meetings and talking to random people everywhere I've managed to meet a ton of people, in particular out of staters. its still early in the year...go sit next to a friendly looking person in class and talk to them, even if u dont drink, go to the frats and strike up convos with random people, bake cookies with ur roommate and go around to the other suites and say hi...get peoples numbers whenever possible...facebook add anyone u meet...in general be very friendly and people will (mostly) reciprocate. </p>
<p>give it some time and dont be afraid to get out there and be outgoing!!</p>
<p>Going away to college is hard for everyone, no matter how happy or miserable students may portray themselves to parents or friends. Students' expectations for college may or may not be realistic and their perception of other students' happiness or engagement may wrongly leave them feeling unhappy and unengaged. I would encourage any student to take all of the advice on this forum and take charge of their social and academic lives. Don't sit in the dorm, get out and walk around, go to the library, get involved. As I often counsel my daughters, be a sponge and not an umbrella when life is stormy.</p>
<p>As the title to this thread states, UNC and Chapel Hill are great places with great students and professors and enough social and academic opportunities for everyone to be happy and engaged. It just takes a little effort.</p>
<p>Good luck to students and parents this year.</p>
<p>Futureholds</p>
<p>"I ended up liking my years at UNC but had some very depressing times and was discriminated against again as an oos student when I applied to UNC med school and was rejected since I was not from NC despite graduating third in my class with highest honors."</p>
<p>Having a son who is applying to med schools right now I can tell you that not much has changed. UNC Med School admission for an OOS UNC undergrad is still a very difficult proposition. Discriminate may be too strong a word but it is obvious in reading their mission statement:"The mission of the School of Medicine has always been to serve the people of North Carolina." That said they want people to stay in or return to N Carolina after they receive their MD.</p>
<p>Another factor these days and it may have also been the case back then is that they (like many other schools with undergrad and med schools) don't take many from UNC undergrad population in general, but the majority that they do take are in-state. It makes the odds for an OOS undergrad at UNC very long for admission to the UNC med school.</p>
<p>Found this on another thread. It was a new thread that was posted by citygirlsmom who is a longtime CC member and frequent poster. I thought it was very good and summarized many things I and others have been saying:</p>
<p>" College is NOT High School</p>
<p>College is not high school and that means no one cares if you eat alone, no one thinks you are weird if you ask if you can join them for lunch, no one cares if you aren't "cool"</p>
<p>and not everyone is "cliqued" up yet</p>
<p>and most everyone around you is new, a bit nervous and feels pretty much like you do</p>
<p>and noone knows anything about you or how you were 3 months ago- you have a fresh slate with new people and lots of opportunities</p>
<p>and once again, no one cares what you are wearing, what classes you are in, if you eat alone, if you like to study, so chill and learn and enjoy"</p>
<p>Well, what's clear in Futureholds' post is that he didn't think much of NC, or NC students, when he/she went to school at UNC. Frankly, I've never seen a more disdainful post. Perhaps this disdain carried forward into the med school interview (if there was one), or professors perceived his/her arrogance and noted as much in their recommendation letters. The other thought is, some of those students from Rockingham or Charlotte that he/she mentioned may have done far superior on their MCATS than Futureholds, and-- regardless of residency status-- they looked more desirable to the UNC med school admissions. That's always a possibility, too. "Discrimination" works in funny ways. :)</p>