<p>Margsala: I just wanted to add one more thing - I do not think college kids should come home every week maybe every few weeks but definitely not every week. My husband and I were at the local high school football game Friday night and all her friends said they missed her and it wasn’t the same with her not there. Let see do I want to see my high school football team play who I cheered for all four years or Carolina play. She is smart - she picked Carolina. It will be hard staying in touch with high school friends but do stay in touch with Mom and/or Dad. Good Luck</p>
<p>margsala</p>
<p>There is nothing wrong with partying from time to time and it doesn’t have to mean drinking. Several of my son’s best female friends don’t drink at all, not even a glass of wine. They still hang out in the same groups, go to the same parties and have even been the reason for more low key types of parties, like wine and cheese parties and they often get together to play some very hard core, uber-competitve games of Taboo…LOL…</p>
<p>Your college life is just unfolding and after a while the myriad of things to do will suddenly become apparent. Right now it’s a bit overwhelming because you and everyone else are full of contradictory feelings…excited to be in college and away from home, finally on your own but then the homesickness sets in which is fueled by the fear of the unknown. When you finally get settled and into somewhat of a routine, that fear starts to subside and the homesickness does also. It’s normal to miss your family and friends, they have been your whole world up to now. The thing that gradually happens is that your college friends and Chapel Hill become your new world and by the end of the year, often times by winter break, you hate leaving there and can’t wait to get back.</p>
<p>I see it with both of my kids and believe me as a parent it is just as hard. My S (like most boys) hardly ever called the first few years and that was VERY tough on us. On the other hand my D calls almost, if not everyday,which is much more of a girl thing from what we have earned from others. She loves her life at the “other” Carolina (USC) but still goes through periods of homesickness and if and whenever something goes wrong she is on the phone to mom or dad…it’s very normal.</p>
<p>They look forward to getting home to see us at breaks but at the same time are very anxious to get back to their respective schools and friends.</p>
<p>Stay proactive and let things happen as well. It will all be fine soon.</p>
<p>Ok, so Jack is not a male jack but a female girlie Jack? Is this a last name or something? My assumption obviously false!!!</p>
<p>i rushed friday and that was mostly disappointing. i couldn’t understand how some of those frat guys were even students at carolina. some of their “selling” tactics were absolutely pathetic. thanks to eadad’s suggestion, i will be attending a Delta upsilon event. they were the only frat that didnt have liquor bottles strung about their house and they actually acted like they cared that i came by. </p>
<p>but as of now, not much has changed. my suite mates are becoming friendlier, only when the other is gone, though (they are best friends). the weather is nice, but i do wish it would rain sometime. i know that sounds weird, but i like the rain. i joined the republicans club and it looks like we’ll be doing things that will keep my busy … hopefully. i do with i knew what else to do on the weekends other than party. since none of us have cars, getting to carbarro is kinda hard .. and i dont do theatre … period. i went to a couple of frat events but since this was a dry week, i could tell many of them were having trouble being themselves without being drunk. i dunno, that whole process, sans Delta upsilon, has been a huge disappointment.</p>
<p>i’ll keep speaking to everyone and becoming active in the clubs. i did volunteer to be my living districts representative for the republicans club. i may or may not try and join delta upsilon .. but honestly outside of them, i couldnt see myself being friends with any of those guys..and i’ll go to class. that’s all i can do. i’ll give it a year and i hope things will improve.</p>
<p>I was there on Friday and saw the Rush going on and it was humorous to me and my D. They paraded down Franklin in front of a Frat house where the guys were lined up on the porch pretending to read/do the computer/play volleyball. The Next time we saw the girls rushing was Sunday when they all had on the same thing…sun dresses…??? what are the odds. They must tell them how to dress. </p>
<p>I hope you have a good experience at the other Frat house but like I said earlier…hang in there. My D is hoping for a new suitemate next week who may be more friendly…hers still say nothing…not a peep. She is concentrating on her studies though and for the most part likes her classes and peers in the classes. She does long for some friends in Chapel Hill who she can be silly with, go to games or just hang out watching the braves or LOTR…or a fave show like house or numbers, etc. </p>
<p>I think that it is natural for things to get in the groove after this week. When the students are all back , they will generally stay for a few weeks and realize this is for the long run. The initial shock being over.</p>
<p>Give it time. You sound like you are doing everything you can.</p>
<p>the guys rush was very different than the girls. I do think they assign the dress. With the guys all we do is go to whichever house that we want and then they decide if they want us to join. Its beginning to look like I’ll wait till spring rather than taking all that time to join/pledge now.</p>
<p>They do let the girls know the expected attire for each event. My d wasn’t interested in joining a sorority, but has friends who are sorority members… and the summer before her freshman year, she received a mailer with all the rush events, and yes…lol, a description of the attire for each event. So it’s no freak accident.. ;)</p>
<p>From an outsiders perspective, it was quite humorous…with both days everyone dressed perfectly…however looking just alike in that way. The boys were the funniest trying to act like they were out there doing ANYTHING but girl watching. I do wonder why the girls process isn’t more like the guys.</p>
<p>Off track though. hang in there!</p>
<p>ahduke: I wish it would rain, too. I bet the farmers (the few who are left!) wish it would as well. This is unusual, as I’m sure you’re aware. We’re in a drought right now and-- at least in my county-- we’re on water restrictions.</p>
<p>You certainly don’t have to go Greek; only ~14% of students at UNC do (which is much less than the nearly 50% at places like Wake Forest or Davidson), where you can be assured your social life will pretty much revolve around frats. </p>
<p>I think UNC has literally hundreds of clubs/activities to join, which could keep you very busy. As far as Carrboro is concerned, it’s within walking distance from campus.</p>
<p>Sounds like you’re doing better, though. So, yeah, hang in there.</p>
<p>My impression was you walk 6 or so blocks west on Franklin to where it turns into Main…and ‘poof!’ you are in Carrboro.</p>
<p>This seems random now but I promise back on Page 2 it wasn’t.</p>
<p>Sit with random people in the cafeteria! I’ve eaten alone a few times but haven’t felt too bad about it. But it’s easy to pick out freshmen. They look a little scrawnier and appear to be having less fun in the cafeteria. Don’t ask me to give some sort of explanation, but I’ve been correct maybe five out of six times. Once you spot some friendly looking freshmen (make sure that their meals aren’t finished or it’s super awkward) just go ahead and sit down with them, ask where they’re living, tell them what you did the other night, etc. I’ve made a few random friends that way, and I keep seeing them! I’ve found that the cafeteria’s actually a pretty good place to make friends. If conversation fails you can always steal some cookies with them (they’re already paid for, so, I don’t <em>really</em> find it unethical).</p>
<p>The first weekend I will say that all the freshmen I knew went out to frats. But that wasn’t so bad. They have a lot of cover bands, which is cool. I would say that quite a few of the guys I met were sketchy, but it’s still possible to have fun in fraternities without drinking.</p>
<p>Last weekend was more my style. Thursday night I went to my brother’s (he’s a senior) house party and that was a lot of fun, and afterwards some random people and I went to Players. That place is entertaining to say the least. I’m not sure I’d recommend it. Actually I’d say don’t go unless you have a guy there with you. But anyway, no drinking required.</p>
<p>Friday I went to the field hockey game. It was so much fun! No drinking. Made random friends with the people I was sitting near and was with a group of some OOS kids. Afterwards I went to head to a party in Craige but never made it because it broke up before I got there, so instead the group I was going with and I headed to Frankles and grabbed some eats. Then back to my room for ‘best of will ferrell,’ and general chilling and conversing. No drinking required. Stayed up really late with two people, one of whom I’d known before and one I hadn’t, just talking and bonding.</p>
<p>Saturday was the football game. That was fun, I almost blew my voice out. After that I met up with some other Carolina Scholars and their friends and we watched Scoop. That movie was good! Again, no drinking.</p>
<p>Sunday night was one of my friend’s birthdays. We went to Weaver St. Market and grabbed some food (she and I are both vegetarians and so it’s exciting to find places that make us feel normal), met up with some friends, some random, some not, and then had a dance party in my room. That was pretty hilarious. Um. There was some drinking after that. But had anyone not had anything to drink it still would have been fun, and definitely wasn’t anything that was required.</p>
<p>Last night I had a library party with a girl in my hall. Self explanatory and I hope I don’t need to say that there wasn’t any drinking there.</p>
<p>Anyway, I had a great time this weekend, met up with lots of new and fun people, and didn’t have to drink to do so. It is possible! It just takes some effort/pre planning.</p>
<p>Last thing I have to say - what’s wrong with us in state students? 
Reading this forum always makes me sad. Just because I’m in state doesn’t mean I’m not as interesting or fun or novel. Greensboro is just as neat of a place to be from as Alaska! Well that’s debatable, but maybe my point is obvious. I have little to no desire to be friends with people I knew from my high school, and people just assume that this is what I’m doing. Pretty much every single person I’ve hung out with here (except for one or two) I met within the last two weeks. Don’t be scared of us in staters! Most of the ones I’ve talked to want to make OOS friends, too.</p>
<p>So. Be a little more outgoing than you’re used to. View your discomfort as an investment. What makes you uncomfortable now ensures that in time you’ll have friends and thus will not feel lonely.</p>
<p>ldmom - I think I see your daughter’s vespa outside of Kenan every time I leave. She has a vespa, right? I hope so, or else this comment makes me feel crazy.</p>
<p>If it’s red, that’s her Vespa cloying!! 
She has a couple of other Vespa buddies and last I heard, they were starting a scooter gang…lol!</p>
<p>On Carrboro: I think daytime walking to Carrboro is fine. I would avoid walking at night to where the action is…alone at least…take a cab is what i tell my daughter if she has to. How much could it cost??</p>
<p>Cloying: Instaters rule! No one was meaning to put them down at all. They were just expressing some frustration that some out of staters have felt…like outsiders. Not all in-staters are as welcoming and inclusive as you. I think it goes both ways–for all students to be willing to reach outside their comfort zones to find new friends & relationships. It is easy just to hang around with the same people from h.s…its just that the oss don’t have any with them so even simple things like dining become a chore they dont’ enjoy. Public exhibition of their aloneness.</p>
<p>How about trying this, next time you go alone round up the singles to sit together, get them to tell each other where there from, where they live on campus and who their favorite band is (music is universal). Do something fun…you will meet a bunch of new friends and you are connecting them with each other. You can be the facilitator!</p>
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<p>I’m obviously not a student on-campus, but I would venture to say that most probably are . . . if you give them a chance. I would be curious to know, too, how one can tell-- from simply walking by and looking at these various groups of happy kids walking by-- that they are all in-staters and all knew each other from the same h.s.? What’s the clue? I’m honestly curious.</p>
<p>I also think one has to be content with the choices he or she has made. If you really didn’t want to go to a school (any school) to begin with-- but went because you got wait-listed, or whatever, from your 1st choice school, then you might always be looking for reasons not to like where you currently are, thinking it’s better someplace else. That’s human nature. The grass is greener syndrome. </p>
<p>Anyway . . . Carrboro is actually just a straight stretch down Franklin and pretty safe and relatively busy most of the time. Sidewalks all the way, I <em>think.</em> You can always find people to walk with you, though.</p>
<p>Atlmom: Didn’t you have another daughter who goes (or just graduated) from UNC? (Or do I have you mixed up with someone else?) If so, as an OOS, did she have trouble meeting people when she got to campus? If not, how did she handle it? Might be helpful for OOS to post that here. ??</p>
<p>My d ‘lives’ (figuratively speaking) in Carrboro. It’s where she gets groceries (Harris Teeter), gas for her scooter and the whole place has real nifty, bohemian feel to it. The storage facility we used was in Carrboro and I never felt the area was unsafe. But HEY, I live in Houston…things are gonna have to be really sketchy before I get nervous…lol! Can we talk backroads of Durham after midnight???)</p>
<p>ahduke, Jack is so right regarding the Greek life at other schools. My son transferred to Chapel Hill after spending 2 years at Wake. The main reason he transferred was that he did not join a frat there and felt that it was difficult to have a social life without being Greek. Now, to my great surprise, he is actually going through the rush stuff at Chapel Hill. Not sure if he will get a bid or join, but he says the “atmosphere” is so much more laid back at CH than it was at Wake that he thinks he might be comfortable going Greek there and as a junior transfer it would help him meet many people quickly.</p>
<p>yeah .. i am in the same boat. i dont know how they are at wake, but iwent to delta upsilon and it was very laid back. a lot of the guys were very nice. but even if i do get a bid from them, i may not join. i wonder if they can defer a bid till spring? i am afraid to ask as hey may get the impression that i am not committed. anyone heard of a deferred bid?</p>
<p>They will defer a bid until Spring and have done it in the past but will hold you to honoring the bid at that time if you choose to defer.</p>
<p>ldmom - I’ve only seen a blue vespa. 
I always comment on it when I’m walking with people. I’ll keep my eye out for the red one. I sound so creepy.</p>
<p>Carrboro has def. improved over the years. It is a nice place in the day time but I stick by my advice to not walk from there to campus alone at night. Call a taxi. Just put the number in your cell for tarheel taxi or check the route for p2p, it may go part way. Plenty of students there who could walk with you. BTW, you can check the newspaper dailytarheel.com for an incident night before last in carrboro.</p>