<p>This is a depressing topic.</p>
<p>That's why we need some laughs.</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>YOU JUST GOT DENIED!</p>
<p>Laugh Out Loud loser,
Admissions office.</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>Your mom goes to college!</p>
<p>Admissions</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>Thanks for the 70!</p>
<p>Admissions Committee.</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>Did you know that this rejection letter doubles as a handkerchief for your endless tears? </p>
<p>Wishing you were here (NOT),
Dean of Admissions</p>
<p>Dear Applicant,
You application brought a smile to all of the officers and interns in our office. We played tic-tac-toe on the back of it. The dean of admissions won 43 times, the interns won 12 times and there were 107 cats games.
Oh, by the way, you were rejected in case you didn't figure out idiot. Please apply to your local community college or McDonalds.
Good riddance,
Dean of Admissions</p>
<p>Dear Asian student who cured cancer,</p>
<p>After discussing your application with the Admission committee, we've come to the conclusion that we need less students like you. We actually have a quota for Asian students who'd like to major in law/biology/chem get 2400 on the SAT and played violin for since they were a week old.
However we'd like to inform you that if you were accepted to Princeton University you would have been given a great amount of financial aid.</p>
<p>Continue to strive for potential goals that could be achieved if you were Caucasian.</p>
<p>Best to your third world country,</p>
<p>Dean of Admission</p>
<p>I love number 45.</p>
<p>Dearest Applicant,
Our school is not your future,
Work the fry machine.</p>
<p>Dear Rejected Applicant:
nuff said.</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>I gotta make this quick. We're running short on ink after all the acceptance letters. Anyways, you didn't make it in. Better luck with your safety schools.</p>
<p>Thanks for the beer money,
Admissions Director</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>You were ACCEPTED!! </p>
<p>Not!</p>
<p>Signed,
Borat
Dean of Admissions</p>
<p>Dear Student, </p>
<p>Whatever you were doing with your time in highschool, you clearly weren't studying or working on your college applications. Perhaps, like many of your generation, you were too busy watching TV to cure cancer or do community service in your sleep. So, we thought we'd give you our reaction to your application in a form you're no doubt familiar with. Please go watch the following video. </p>
<p>YouTube</a> - SERIOUSLY?!</p>
<p>Seriously? </p>
<p>Sincerely,
Adcom of Dream University</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>We have done you the favor of returning your entire application to you, with the exception of the application fee [we really did appreciate it]. Please excuse the watermarks now present on your application, those are due to the immense amount of tears shed as we laughed at your feeble attempts to gain entry to our kick-ass university. [we appreciated this as well]</p>
<p>We assure you that we considered every aspect of your application in determining that you suck. However, XYZ University has several excellent graduate programs that you would love to get into. Please apply again, once you graduate from your local community college, so that we can send you this letter once again. </p>
<p>Oh, and in case you didn't realize it yet, you were rejected. Get over it.</p>
<p>Yours Truly,
Dean of Admissions
XYZ University</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>If you ever dare to apply again... We have a Taser!!</p>
<p>Sincerely,
The Admissions Committee</p>
<p>P.S. We REALLY hope that person in the picture wasn't you.</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>On behalf of the entire University here, we have enclosed to you a single rope sturdy enought to hold you weight. Due to a lack of funds we would greatly appreciate it if the rope is returned after use.</p>
<p>Sincerely,
The Admissions Committee</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>I hope that XYZ University is not your safety school, because otherwise you're screwed for life. Shizzle.</p>
<p>Dean of Denials</p>
<p>@jetmaster</p>
<p>Wow, that one is downright wrong :D</p>
<p>@bdl108</p>
<p>LOL @ "Dean of Denials"</p>
<p>Dear Foolish Mortal,</p>
<p>HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT YOU ARE WORTHY TO ASCEND TO THE HEAVENLY CLOUDS OF XYZ UNIVERSITY?! WE LAUGHED AT YOUR APPLICATION AND SPIT ON YOUR TRANSCRIPT! BE CONSIGNED TO IMMORTAL AND EVERLASTING SHAME FOR YOUR FOOLISH, PATHETIC, actually rather depessing, ATTEMPT TO GET INTO OUR SCHOOL!</p>
<p>...but, seriously, thanks for the application fee.</p>
<p>Signed,
Dr. Harvard Von Stanford-Princeton-Yale,
Chief of the Collegiate Gods, Chief Mortal-Punisher, and Dean of Admissions.</p>