I’m just brainstorming my ideas for college application essays at this point, but I would like to include a possibly controversial or uncomfortable issue within one of them. The topic involves domestic abuse/neglect within my family and within a relationship. I would not like to put specific details on here, but I would love to PM someone about this, and discuss the pros/cons of writing about a topic many like to avoid.
Does anyone have any advice about writing on a topic like this, or knows the effect it may have on my chances of admission? My experience has shaped me as a person, and has helped me become my own advocate, as well as an advocate for other women in similar situations.
Please PM if you’re willing to discuss this in detail, or reply to this post if you can give an opinion on the abstract! Thank you!
Dont have any personal experience, my common app essay was pretty safe but I say anything that makes you stand out from the crowd and look good would def be a good thing. You just gotta set it up well, PM me if you want help!
I do not think it is wise to write about topics like this in a common app essay. It takes a skillful writer to pull it off without sounding bitter, preachy, sanctimonious, self-pitying, condemnatory, etc… You may also end up sounding strong, victorious, enlightened, etc… Of course, that also doesn’t mean you shouldn’t write about soemthing that is very important to you, but it is crucial to make the focus of the essay on how you learned, changed, grew from such an experience.
If you must write about this, you have to ensure that the college reads your essay and thinks, “here’s a kid who has become a caring, involved person, despite these awful experiences.” You don’t want the college to read your essay and think “okay, this person is a domestic abuse survivor.” I hope you see the difference. Not trying to criticize your idea, I just think it’s important to be aware that often essays with risky topics end up making a person sound like a label, rather than a person. Know your limits as a writer, and if you share your essay, and get negative feedback, listen to what people have to say. At the end of the day, colleges want to admit people they like, not labels.
@Lindagaf is correct that “it takes a skillful writer to pull it off,” but I’ve seen it done successfully. The key is to make sure the essay is (A) about who you are and (B) positive and reflective of resiliency rather than victimized and dwelling on hardships or trauma.
I wrote about my banana phobia in my Princeton essay, and I got multiple people to help me edit it and make it so that I’m not a “label” as some people have pointed out, but rather a point of strength. I would say go for it, but be aware that it IS a risk and you want to make sure you tread through it carefully. Don’t BS random crap on it, but remember that it’s about YOU and how YOU have grown from it. Personally I like to see non-safe essays cuz i’m an all or nothing type person, but just make sure you have that caution alert in your head.
I would frankly say that this is a bad idea. Schools are concerned about students who may be ‘at risk’ of dropping out for any reason. A family that is not supportive of who you are/are becoming and is abusive in response, that has a history of abusive behaviors between members, that may involve abuse that continues with other family members even if you are not the victim, are all indicators of a student who may be a risky admit. Even if the student has successfully changed/dealt with the abuse, learned to stand up for themselves, etc…, there is always the danger that they will be sucked back into a dysfunctional family dynamic.
Are there exceptions? Of course. Could you possibly pull this off successfully? Sure. It’s possible. But do you really want to take a chance with your college admissions by going down this road? I think there are better ways for you to convince a school that you have a lot to offer them and they should admit you on that basis.
@Lindagaf@marvin100 I really like how you guys wrote that. It is very true. A couple of days ago I submitted my app to some Ivy league schools, and now that I reflect back on my essay, I can see you guys are totally right.
@mcasey4368 I really think you should do it. Don’t go with the flow and choose a safe topic, they read plenty of those. A quote I always live by is “If you play it safe, you’ll never win”. If that topic demonstrates the values in you, then do it! However as stated above, do show what you learned and what you gained from the experience instead of being a victim. Make it empowering and show them it only made you stronger and wiser. Ultimately, I think universities will prefer someone who has lived and had difficult experiences and overcame them with values much more than someone who is just a bunch of perfect stats. All those perfect stats show is that you can handle a lot, but your life experiences and your values show your character and your true self.
They’ll prefer this, trust me
I took a similar path on my essays and they are very empowering and inspirational, I just submitted them a week ago.
