I am an Asian (Indian) female living in the Midwest. I am thinking about my essays for this coming year as I am a junior. I have multiple topics I want to write about for my common app essay (basing it off the questions on it). I was wondering if writing about how my move to America in 5th grade was. I want to talk about how I didn’t speak English then and got bullied a lot and how we moved four times since the. Then I want to lead into how I taught myself English in pretty much two years and how I became more extroverted and tried new things. I also now speak 3 languages and learning a fourth, and I became more accepting of myself and my background (in the past three years). I want to show college that I haves perseverance and don’t give up easily. Also want to add that I’m not a citizen but have a green card. Do you guys think I should write about this or something along these lines or should I talk about something else like? Thank you!!!
I do not think you should discuss that you were specifically bullied and became introverted. You are selling yourself on your positive aspects. Being an immigrant is an extremely common topic. It doesn’t mean you should not write about it, but be aware that you are not going to be admitted by a college out of sympathy. It’s abotwhat you can bring to campus. Make the focus your languages.
Write a draft and see how it goes. I suspect you won’t be able to fit everything from your post into a two page or so essay. Edit carefully. And agree that the purpose of the essay is not to try and generate sympathy but rather to highlight positive attributes you will bring to campus.
I interpreted the bullying experience & your response to it as a story of growth, maturity and perseverance, not one seeking pity. Focusing on your linguistic abilities would be pointless out of context.
Thank you so much @BellaMorgan and everyone else! @Publisher for the linguistic abilities, I wanted weave them in because I thought it showed my drive to achieve and do what I set my mind to. Also, I wanted to write about it because it was the main reason I got bullied in the first place, and I thought AO would think it’s naybe kinda neat that I went from speaking broken English to a leadership editor in my school newspaper (gets national recognition and stuff) and taking higher level English classes. Idk do you still think I should probably leave it out? It could make the essay shorter (easier with 650 limit). Thanks!
I think that you misunderstand my earlier comment. I think that your linguistic abilities are very important to share in the context of being bullied due in large part to your inability to speak English. My comment referred to other posts suggesting that you were seeking pity. I do not think that explaining your situation & resilience & motivation is a pity play.
What you did starting in 5th grade isn’t what they’re looking for now. They’re more interested in who you’ve become.
How did your own experience change the person you are now? It’s a bit of a trick question. Not just declarations declarations that, "I’m more confident. "
Ok thank you! @Publisher @lookingforward Thank you for the advice! that’s what I plan to do. I am going to write mainly about my evolution of a pets and becoming more open about my own culture. I wrote a draft already and talked it over with my AP Lang teacher. It’s mainly about how I took in that experience and changed from there (looking back on it and where I am now). I want to show my resilience and positive attitude through this essay and also show that I value opportunities more because I was never given any and had to take them myself and etc. Thank you all for the advice!!!
Google “Hacking the College Essay 2017” and read it.
Write the Essay No One Else Could Write
“It boils down to this: the essay that gets you in is the essay that no other applicant could write.
Is this a trick? The rest of this guide gives you the best strategies to accomplish this single
most important thing: write the essay no one else could write.
If someone reading your essay gets the feeling some other applicant could have written it,
then you’re in trouble.
Why is this so important? Because most essays sound like they could have been written by
anyone. Remember that most essays fail to do what they should: replace numbers (SAT/GPA) with the real you.
Put yourself in the shoes of an admissions officer. She’s got limited time and a stack of
applications. Each application is mostly numbers and other stuff that looks the same. Then she picks
up your essay. Sixty seconds later, what is her impression of you? Will she know something specifically
about you? Or will you still be indistinguishable from the hundreds of other applicants she has been
reading about?”