Hi, so I’ve done digging both on and off college confidential. From what I can see, most CC forums really recommend steering away from writing about potentially taboo topics, even if they could make a compelling essay. Based on the idea that it’s simply not worth the risk.
I’m answering a UC essay prompt about my biggest challenge in life. I fully intend to talk about being a rape survivor. I have written very little about what happened to me, and chosen to focus the essay on the aftermath, how I learned to use art to begin to heal myself. (I am an art major). The trait I’m trying to showcase in this essay is my resilience. I would love to hear opinions on if people still think this is a terrible idea. I’d be very happy to send my first draft to some people to judge it for themselves. Please let me know.
Why would something that has molded you be bad (not the act which is heinous). You must understand that college counsels look for a moving story that makes you unique and makes you…you. In my opinion I think you should talk about being a survivor and how its pushed you! don’t be ashamed tell your story! @londontola
I have to admit that your essay topic raised my eyebrows. As a parent, not admissions counselor, I think your essay could be very powerful if your voice is authentic and you focus on the resilience and positive outcomes of this experience. Don’t portray yourself as a victim and focus on how it made you a stronger person. Good luck!
You may want to check out this thread of consolidated essay readers. There are some extremely seasoned folks there who can give you some advice. Please know, you can’t send a PM (as in your essay for proofreading) until you have at least 15 posts here.
To be honest, I think that it is a better topic than it might have been a couple of years ago. I think based on your description, you can make it work. I think you do need to steer away from anything that sounds like you are so damaged that it possibly impacts your ability to complete college (you have to remember that part of their responsibility is to accept students who are likely to finish their program).
Google “Hacking the College Essay 2017” and read it.
Write the Essay No One Else Could Write
“It boils down to this: the essay that gets you in is the essay that no other applicant could write.
Is this a trick? The rest of this guide gives you the best strategies to accomplish this single
most important thing: write the essay no one else could write.
If someone reading your essay gets the feeling some other applicant could have written it,
then you’re in trouble.
Why is this so important? Because most essays sound like they could have been written by
anyone. Remember that most essays fail to do what they should: replace numbers (SAT/GPA) with the real you.
Put yourself in the shoes of an admissions officer. She’s got limited time and a stack of
applications. Each application is mostly numbers and other stuff that looks the same. Then she picks
up your essay. Sixty seconds later, what is her impression of you? Will she know something specifically
about you? Or will you still be indistinguishable from the hundreds of other applicants she has been
reading about?”
They don’t simply look for “a moving story that makes you unique and makes you.” I think OP gets that.
The rape can be mentioned, as one bullet that led to a transition. But we’re talking a sentence or two. When UC looks at a kid’s back story, it’s generally educational challenges that were overcome.
“Taboo” is often used on CC. It’s less about a taboo topic and more often that a kid writes all about the incident or problem and misses what any writing is meant to convey- determination, resilience (yes!,) solid thinking, openness to change, persistence, a positive outlook, and more.
Try it. Remember some, “Show, not just tell.” Eg, how your new strengths manifest, including in other ways besides art. Do you now reach out more, impact others, etc? Some activity that speaks for itself and shows the attributes a college likes.
Hello there,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. That takes a lot of courage. I’m a male survivor myself. If you’d like, I don’t mind taking a look at it to help with edits.
As a survivor, I just referenced rape in part of my application for a residency program. The autobiographical essay was supposed to highlight formative events and as you have unfortunately discovered, rape is a life-changing event - but fortunately this can be in positive ways as well as negative ones. I showed my essay to a therapist (that I work with because I think all pastors should) and here is what she said: “keep the reference to the attack PG-rated and very brief, because the emphasis should be on the positive outcomes”.
As to Happytimes’ post: survivors are not fragile; we can read of someone else’s attack without reliving our own. And if we are, most are used to dealing with triggers and know how to reground ourselves. You are demonstrating that you can use your own wounds to help others and not let a horrible act destroy you.
Focus on your strength and it won’t look like a “pity me and accept me” approach.
AOs are just people too, and I think anything that human nature shys away from will only hurt your acceptance possibility. The best essay is one that makes you appear curious, insatiable for knowlege, fun to be with, likable and a good citizen.
The point is to write it right. And this is for a college applucation, not a bio.
What’s next, a survivor can’t be a doctor, because some patient might remind her of something? Someone who was mugged can;t read an essay about a big city or vol work in a dicey area?
It would be nice if the OP weighed in and responded to the suggestions offered so far. It is diffiicult (for me) to offer advice or suggestions without knowing the person in real life.
GUYS! I’m SO sorry this has taken me so long to check! I honestly didn’t think I would get so many responses thank you so much for all of your opinions. I’m getting a lot more support for this idea than I thought which is amazing.
So my first paragraph is very pg, effectively just saying that I was in this sexually abusive relationship and that I eventually got out of it. It’s about 3 lines. The rest of the essay is about me returning home, and learning to face a new challenge/skill (oil painting), and in parallel how facing this lead to me facing my trauma and processing it. How I used the painting to heal and in doing this I became well enough to return to college. How I am not ashamed of being a survivor as it has lead me to become stronger and more resilient than I ever thought possible. And that, while it does not define me, it does inform my artwork, and so it is a part of me that I will continue to talk about.
I’m definitely trying to make the essay about me and why these lessons make me a good fit for the UC’s. I’m hoping this is enough to counteract any potential risks
@KKmama thank you so much for this comment, it’s reassuring to know others have done this. I’m definitely trying to do exactly that, highlight strengths, and keep the whole thing sensitive.
@Happytimes2001 and @lookingforward
I’m not worried about a survivor reading it, it’s not graphic and if anything I think survivors tend to be more appreciative of the bravery it takes to talk about.
Either way I think most admissions officers are more objective than to judge a great applicant of off separate personal emotions.
The very reason I want to right about it is because it is very much about who i am now!!
@intparent I am also a Berkeley legacy, who grew up in Berkeley and England, and then moved 5000 miles away from home at 18 to go to college in Los Angeles and had to support myself while doing this and still maintained a 4.0gpa.
I think for the most part I am not a candidate that people would be worried about in terms of attrition, definitely not for UCB or UCLA.
