<p>Citygirlsmom, the only reason that there is a cluster of bad signs reported together is that is how the OP reported it to us. She didn't volunteer any of the details associated with "good" or "neutral" behaviors. </p>
<p>I could easily think of 10 things that drive me nuts about each of my kids - starting with the way they pile dirty dishes in the sink and expect me to do them -- and list them and you'd have the impression that they were rude, insensitive people. But my kids are actually talented and caring young people who are not perfect. My daughter roomed this summer with students who piled all their dirty dishes in the sink and wouldn't clean them for days on end, so my d. griped to me about how she always had to do the dishes... and yes, I do think the roommates were inconsiderate slobs. If only my d. would do the dishes more often at home I might have had more sympathy for her plight.</p>
<p>It's pretty easy to surmise, given the tenor of these posts, that whatever was NOT complained about was not a problem -- for example, the roommate didn't steal, didn't bring alcohol into the room, didn't play music loudly late at night, etc. </p>
<p>I also am disinclined to dump on the OP -- as I said, I understand the desire to vent online and I am sure she is truthfully relaying her perceptions and fears -- my problem is with the very catty response of a group of posters who have leapt on the bandwagon to dump on the roommate and the roommate's mom. I'm sure if a person is looking to find fault with everything another person does, they will find plenty to complain about. </p>
<p>And before we all rely too much on intuition -- keep in mind that intuition is also fueled by all sorts of subtle biases. I agree with Blossom's comment, "sometimes "intuition" is a defense mechanism we employ around people who are different" -- and I would not be at all surprised if it turned out that there was also an ethnic, racial or cultural difference between these two girls and their families -- even regional differences can lead to very different expectations about behavior and communications.</p>