<p>DS has made his decision (we were very certain what he wanted but waited to hear it from him to be 100% sure--and his choice). We have sent in the deposit--and he has written the regret email to his other school (day school). Who else has made up their mind for PEA?</p>
<p>Welcome to Exeter! - my D made up her mind 2 years ago, and is now a very happy lower. Happy to answer any questions.</p>
<p>I had a D graduate last year-- it is will be great to be back as an Exeter parent!</p>
<p>I have a question for the above experienced Exeter parents: Exeter does not offer AP classes, although it offers a lot of high level classes, but not geared toward AP tests. Do students need to study a lot by himself/herself to prepare the AP tests? Usually how many AP tests they take by the graduation time ? thanks</p>
<p>Great news, etondad! Congrats!!</p>
<p>None. The classes are considered college level. I suppose a child might register to take an exam-- but I haven’t ever heard of it with any of my D’s friends–and not sure how it would be done-- call the dean of student’s office, I suppose. </p>
<p>The classes from Lower year on are all basically considered college level and are so designated with an * on the transcript- but as Exeter does not conform to any external syllabus and couldn’t given the Harkness method the courses aren’t AP courses–whatever that means.</p>
<p>TY London203 !! 
Very happy.</p>
<p>Yay! Welcome back to Exeter(:</p>
<p>We (S) said yes a year ago. </p>
<p>He will be going back on Wednesday after two weeks home for break between the 2nd and 3rd term and we could not be happier with the decision he made. This is most evident when we compare where he is and what he is doing to what we hear from his local friends when they are over now that he is home. We love these kids and they are a really good group, we have a strong local HS option and moved to the town we live in for this school, but they are on a completely different plane and trajectory.</p>
<p>Great news! Tough decision but it sounds like the right one for him!</p>
<p>etondad and kidsparent, I see you are both satisfied Exeter parents. I wonder if you could share your perspectives on a few “common concerns” over a big school like Exeter (and most of them have been voiced over Andover as well). 1. The size: some people think with 1000-1100 students, the school is too big, so it’s not “nuturing enough”, which is a bad thing for most if not all high schoolers. Well, even for the most mature 15 year old, being in a nurturing environment could only do good rather than harm, right? 2. Being college like, where students are expected to be mature, independt, proactive, etc etc. I read etondad in another post that he thinks Exeter IS like a LAC. Frankly, I think that’s an ugly word on this forum. Many people are saying we want a high school for our kids not a college. And Exeter and Andover parents often feel complled to over and over try to expel such a notion. 3. People like to say “the school is not for everyone”, but apparently no one dares to dig in and identify just who would be a great fit for such a school. I can see students who are not cut for Exeter could be miserable there, but what about students who are good fit for Exeter? Would they be as miserable in a school that’s smaller and more nurturing? In what way?</p>
<p>Alden0611, those are some great questions. My D is a the more challenging the better sort of kid – she was ready for independence–in fact she chaffed at her grammar school because of that. She wanted to be with “the best minds” and to see what she could do–and to see how far she could go–if she could have gone straight to college I think she would have–but of course she wasn’t yet prepared so Exeter was the next best thing. She loved the size-- the amazing diversity of kids-- both socio-economically, racially, but also in terms of interests-- it was most not definitively not a “preppy” school–kids did their own thing and acted in their own ways.
Now she opted to live in one of the smaller dorms–about 30 girls so in a sense there was a bit of family to there. Her house head was also her advisor and they still to this day have a tight relationship. </p>
<p>Who would be good? A tough, independent kid who loves the challenge of the Harkness table, and being around kids who will challenge every assumption they make, who wants to work HARD–both in and out of the classroom–“suck the marrow out of life”. </p>
<p>Your right if you want a small nurturing community then Exeter isn’t right for you or your child. But if you have a horse that can’t wait to break from the gate and run as far and as fast as they can–then there is no better place than Exeter.</p>
<p>Also, there are supports there–but they are less obvious–and just about everyone loves working with teenagers–and it shows. I am biased but it is, for the right kid, the best education in the US.</p>
<p>As to miserable elsewhere-- I know she would be stifled as she absolutely refused to apply to Deerfield and other schools when we suggested them–and didn’t want PA because she thought that wasn’t “tough” enough–as she put it–same with my youngest. The eldest went to Eton, and its reputation is a bit overblown as being tough–but not by much.</p>
<p>So I suppose it is something my wife and I have created in their personalities :)</p>
<p>etondad, if even Andover is not tough enough for your daughter, then I think she IS very special. Speaking from personal experience, Andover is plenty rigorous (although I do have a feeling that Exeter is even “tougher”). Has your daughter granduated as a top student from Exeter (e.g. early cum laude, faculty prize, etc.)?</p>
<p>Alden
you had three questions</p>
<p>1) is it too big and not nurturing enough - If we felt he needed nurturing or wanted nurturing we would probably not even consider BS, that is, our job as parents. At 1000 to 1100 PEA is 1/3 or less the size of our current PS which is 3500 to 3750. However, he does have what appear to be real and true bonds with some of his teachers and his advisor which certainly appear to be 'nurture like" even if they are not necessarily warm and fuzzy like puppies but are more based on mutual respect and enjoyment of each other’s company. Maybe he takes after his parents, but mutual respect and admiration win out in his book over puppies. (not that he or we don’t like puppies!) Finally, nurture when a kid is ready to try flying might be smothering, depends on the kid i suppose.</p>
<p>2) I went to a large state u, (35K students with graduate departments etc) so exeter feels pretty small. It is college like in that the kids have to plan out classes and tracks top meet the graduation requirements. As a prep he chose 3 of his 5 core classes. His science, his language and his ‘other’, with only math and english being chosen for him. My HS, and the local one for DS are larger than PEA so i don’t see the issue. </p>
<p>3) I can’t claim to know who would not do well there, but I seem to see kids there who are smart but more importantly confident, hardworking and independent, but this could be the group that DS associates with. He does not have much patience for the ‘preppy’ kids, he likes the smart and interesting ones. He likes the give and take but also the bonds and camaraderie. He likes respecting the worthy opponent in class but not the blow hard harkness warrior. He loves rowing crew and swimming as sports because they are hard work and you have to be tough to handle them. Not all kids at PEA may be this way, but lots of them seem to relish the challenge and savor the satisfaction of conquering it. </p>
<p>Now he also loves a good steak and a lay-in in a fancy hotel and can be as absent minded and down right exasperating as any other 15 y/o. </p>
<p>It is, in my view and our experience so far, a special place for these types of kids. My bigger worry is starting be “what’s next?” but not in terms of what is the “best” or “Top” college, but where will be have the best balance of challenge, independence, interest and freedom. He’ll have the tools to do well no matter where he is, it is more where will be find the challenge and want to rise to the occasion. How will i help guide him there although he may be a few steps ahead of me on this one.</p>
<p>@Alden</p>
<p>My S goes to Exeter and it is true that Exeter is not for everyone. What I mean by that is the rigor of the program is at a very high level. Not just in the advanced level of the topic studied, but of the sheer quantity of work. </p>
<p>DS eats, sleeps, and works Exeter. He has very little free time. After getting out of class at 6 he may stay for dinner at school, but then comes home only to do several hours of homework. EVERYDAY. He usually uses free periods at school to do work. On Wednesdays when school is out early he uses that time to do work and hopefully get ahead on homework. Saturdays he usually takes for himself to play video games, hang around with friends (fun stuff) but he usually can be found on campus even on Saturday. Sundays it is back to work for usually the better part of the day and with any luck can get ahead on work for the upcoming week. </p>
<p>He does all of this and still manages to be an honor student, a proctor at school, play a sport, be involved with the theater, and go to the clubs he is involved in. It takes a TREMENDOUS amount of not only self-discipline, but of organization and motivation. I give a incredible amount of credit to students who board there. Our S is a day student. The boarders who are in this program really need to be on their game like this without the benefit of home. They are amazing.</p>
<p>In our case, he does all of this with a smile on his face (For the most part). He does get stressed out, there have been a few instances of staying up until 1 or 2 in the morning working on a paper just to get up at 6 to get ready for school. But, he LOVES it. He loves the pace, the people, the challenge, the teachers, the independence. He loves it all. Exeter fits his personality like a glove. He is a natural at the Harkness table. All of these things make Exeter a great fit for him.</p>
<p>This is just the reality of the program at Exeter. I am sure you could speak to Andover parents and other schools like it and you would hear the same types of stories. </p>
<p>So you can see that it would really not be the environment for everyone and really that’s ok.</p>
<p>As far as whether or not a smaller, more nuturing program would be a good fit for him? Well, I think he could probably do well anywhere, but he needs to be challenged to keep himself from getting bored. He is definitely getting challenged. If the expectation is not high, he tends to slack off. If there is a high expectation, he really rises to the challenge and flies.</p>
<p>Is Exeter nuturing enough? Well, as I have said before, they are not going to make sure you ate all your vegetables, or got all your homework done, but if you need support, a shoulder to cry on, or just some good advice they are so very willing to listen. As a student you need to seek out and develop relationships with advisers, and teachers and it has been our experience that they are all very approachable.</p>
<p>Congrats Etondad! Great choice and fabulous turnarounds happening with Hassan at the helm! :)</p>
<p>Alden</p>
<p>I did not really address your 3rd question. Would kids who love Exeter not do so well at other, smaller and more nurturing, schools? I can’t speak for more than one, but i can see where DS would take a more nurturing place as more controlling and less willing to have faith and confidence in him. This very well might end up turning into rebellion and acting out in the absolute wrong way. </p>
<p>as the old phrase goes, he “needs the reins laid on 'em loose.”</p>
<p>Thanks etondad, NMMomof3 and kidsparent for your input. Great discussions indeed (and I have to be proud that I asked the right questions too. ;)) DC’s experience at Andover is similar to what you have described. And I agree 100% (OK, 95% maybe) of your answers to my questions!</p>
<p>My DD was accepted into Exeter. She is a 99 percentile child and loves being intellectually stimulated and being surrounded by like-minded peers. She works hard and loves to be academically challenged. However, she also enjoys extracurriculars, having new experiences, and being a part of a warm community of like-minded peers. She is competitive only with herself. She was also accepted to several other wonderful schools. This thread is very interesting… it makes me wonder… will she be successful at Exeter if she does not live to work all the time? Will she be studying during all her free time? Do kids have time to chat and socially interact?</p>
<p>do you guys think that Exeter is any harder than a boarding school like Choate or Hotchkiss? I have a sister that attends Hotchkiss and the work load there seems massive. Exeter seems difficult as well, but do you think it is significantly more challenging than its sister boarding schools?</p>