You know you're Asian when..

College Confidential Community
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<p>Chances are, you’ve already seen this (if you’re Asian), but incase you haven’t… you might get a chuckle or two out of this:</p>

<p><a href=“http://students.washington.edu/darken1/jokes/asian.html[/url]”>http://students.washington.edu/darken1/jokes/asian.html</a></p>

<p>** You know you’re Asian when you ask your parents for help on a math problem and two hours later, they’re still lecturing you.**</p>

<p>^^ That actually happened to me (I don’t know if it was two hours or not). When I was in third grade, I asked my dad how to do long division. He attempted to teach me by doing one example. I tried it… yada yada yada… he’s telling me how I need to study harder!</p>

<p>** You know you’re Asian when your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, “In Korea (or other native country), we studied even more.”**</p>

<p>**“How to be the Perfect Asian American Parent (from the second generation perspective)”</p>

<li><p>Don’t ask where the other point went when your child comes home with 99 percent grade on his/her report card.</p></li>
<li><p>Don’t blatantly hint about the merits of Habadu(Harvard),Yeil (Yale), or Purinsuton (Princeton).**</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Sorry if this post is long and pointless! I hope you get some laughs though.</p>

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<p>there have been several other posts like this. just do a search. but you're forgiven.</p>

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<p>Oy, I hate that 99% thing.</p>

<p>Sophomore memories:
Hey, Mom, I took the Precalc final today. He graded it on the spot, and I only got three wrong.
Three wrong? What happened? Did you not study?
It was some stupid algebra mistakes, Mom. The second highest score was an 83....
Double check your work.</p>

<p>Ah, the blessed answer to everything: study, and double check your work.</p>

<p>As for lectures:
I finally finished my essay! It took me all week and like three hours today. Do you want to read it?
[Pause....mark, mark, mark, slash, rewrite, rip, tear, shred, pulverize, burn]
The tone isn't right.
Mom! I spent hours on that!
Are you sure you couldn't do more with that paragraph?
I've developed it all I can...
At least change that sentence to [insert something totally different than what I mean]
But that throws off my message.
Then it isn't the right message.
[Scream, yell, cry inwardly]</p>

<p>That's the basic pattern at least. And I just keep going back to ask...</p>

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<p>If your parents know enough English to edit your essays then you're not asian enough :p</p>

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<p>Man, I wish. But when my Mom decided to major in English in Singapore, they drove her hard to become the best at it. Asian perfectionism, you know :)</p>

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<p>lol haha poor you. At least I get to make fun of my mom's English.</p>

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<p>Purinsuton....lol....man that's priceless. :).</p>

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<p>*Haabaado instead of Habadu, actually :) And Ieeru for Yale. Purinsuton is pretty funny-sounding :P</p>

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<p>I find some of those disturbingly true -___-</p>

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<p>When people say "Asian," do you mean oriental Azn, or would south asian suffice as well? Cuz I can definitely relate! :)</p>

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<p>You mean like Pacific Islanders? Well yeah... cause people who are from countries of the continent of Asia.... are asian.</p>

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<p>I am South Asian; my Oriental friends continuously try to tell me I'm not "really" Asian. Bah.</p>

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<p>This was in a I ain't a FOB or an ABCD group on facebook.</p>

<ul>
<li>you make chai in a saucepan, you refuse to use a kettle.

<ul>
<li>the second you pull out of someone's driveway, your parents start talking...about them</li>
<li>you trust only foreign cars (accord or camry...)</li>
<li>your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids.</li>
<li>piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors</li>
<li>you fight over who pays the dinner bill</li>
<li>you ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school
-you've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom</li>
<li>no one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit
-when our fathers get together, no matter what the topic is, each man is an expert</li>
<li>you are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the airport</li>
</ul></li>
</ul>

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<p>-Your parents buy an expensive house with imported Italian furniture but then spend 2 hours searching for a mail-in-rebate coupon, which has 1 day left on its expiration date, that gives you $1 dollar off your next haircut !!!</p>

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<p>IlliniJBravoEcho, lol I loved those.</p>

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<p>ROFL! count me in ^^</p>

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<p>I can relate to some of those IlliniJBravoEcho, nice.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
- you fight over who pays the dinner bill
- you ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school

[/quote]

So true! It's actually kind of funny watching the adults fight over who should pay the bill ("No I should. I invited you." "No, I should, you paid last time." etc.) Also my dad always tells me that he was in university before he ever saw a bus, and about that old before he could afford a watch.</p>

<p>KRabble88, and IlliniJBravoEcho, thanks for posting those. They were hilarious. Will have to share it with my friends. :)</p>

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<p>
[quote]
at least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say . . ."

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Yes i even know some phrases he said to his pupils lol.</p>

<p>
[quote]
at least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses

[/quote]
</p>

<p>My dad once wore those. I constantly told him to take them off since they are nerdy and geeky. But at times he still wears them lol. </p>

<p>
[quote]
at expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage

[/quote]
</p>

<p>This I find disturbingly true. I don't know why but I never drink anything else well maybe tea too but they are all free.</p>

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<p>powerofprocrastination-- i'm south asian also and ppl tell me i'm not asian too! it's so annoying! dudes... we ARE asian! =P</p>

<p>IlliniJBravoEcho--Those are hilarious! =D</p>

<p>Here are some more for you know you're INDIAN when..... sadly, I find them to be true!</p>

<p>-Your dad is some sort of engineer or doctor.
-You know what's going to happen in every Hindi movie before it happens
-You say you hate Indian films but secretly watch them with your parents.
-You like the meat well done.
-You eat onions with everything.
-You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
-You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
-When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
-Your family owns a tennis racquet.
-You buy corn oil by the gallon.
-Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
-You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal.
-Everyone in your family has pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
-Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
-Everyone is a family friend.
-You secure your baggage with a rope.
-Your parents are panicking if you aren't married when you turn 25
-A horoscope must decide your wedding date
-Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day
-Either you really like Indians of the opposite sex or you can't stand them
-You are sick and tired of answering questions about "the dot"
-Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried
-You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried
-You have cousins you have never met, whose names you don't know, but who insist they're related to you, even though they bear NO resemblance to...anyone YOU know.
-No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.</p>