<p>You are trapped by an evil crime lord in Africa and the only way you can get your freedom is by defeating a hippo.</p>
<p>Battleground: 100' x 100' steel cage. (20 feet in height) The cage has the same style as the cage in WWF matches. You are allowed to climb to the top of the cage. However, you cannot climb out of the cage or you will be executed ASAP. This Hippo has been treated very poorly by the crime lords and as such is in an even worse mood than most hippos are toward people. </p>
<p>Weapons:
-A rock about the size of a coconut
-A 6 inch serrated knife
-A Steel chair
-A 15 ft extension ladder
-3 wooden tables
-1 Aluminum trash can
-Sledgehammer
-A bottle of 90 proof Everclear</p>
<p>Hippo stats:<br>
Sex: Male
Length and Height: Hippos measure 3.3 to 5.2 meters (11 to 17 ft) long, including a tail of about 56 centimeters (22 in) in length and average about 1.5 meters (5 ft) tall at the shoulder. The Hippo you are forced to fight is 17 ft long.
Weight: third-largest land mammal by weight (between 1½ and 3 tonnes) - this hippo is 3 tonnes
Speed: Hippos have been clocked at 30 km/h (19 mph) over short distances
Bite Pressure: On the National Geographic Channel television program, "Dangerous Encounters with Brady Barr", Dr. Brady Barr measured the bite pressure of an adult female hippo at 1,821 lb (826 kg); Barr also attempted to measure the bite pressure of an adult male hippo, but had to abandon the attempt due to the male's aggressiveness.
Behavior: Hippos are very aggressive towards humans and are often considered one of the most dangerous large animals in Africa. Hippos attack humans and boats. When hippos become overpopulated, or when a habitat starts to shrink, bulls will sometimes attempt to kill infants; sometimes female hippos will kill the bulls to protect their infants, but neither behavior is common under normal conditions. Some incidents of hippo cannibalism have been documented.</p>
<p>So, are you cut out to beating a Hippo? If you win you get your freedom and lots of money.</p>
<p>I’ll take the hippo on.</p>
<p>but I am a hippo too?</p>
<p>I take the knife, rock, and hammer, and bottle and climb out of the hippo’s reach. I attempt to make the hippo choke on the rock.</p>
<p>I don’t think that Hippos can jump maybe I could use that in my tactics.</p>
<p>Take that sledgehammer and smash the crap out of the hippo. Then dumping everclear all over the ■■■■■■■, then coating my knife with everclear and stabbing him repeatedly while he’s stunned.</p>
<p>^that is very graphic. and violent.</p>
<p>Well it’s for my freedom. I will fight for my freedom.</p>
<p>While the hippo chews on MIT, I gain the top of the cage. The hippo then dies from food poisoning and I escape.</p>
<p>I would distract the hippo by singing I like em Big, by motto motto from madagascar,
then go beowolf and slit its belly wide open</p>
<p>No!!! Hippos are so dangerous!!! They seem nice but are really territorial.</p>
<p>I use ninja skills to beat up MosbyMarion and lie that I killed the hippo. Claim the freedom and the glory.</p>
<p>1) Climb to top of cage.
2) Dangle something over hippo, so he bares his teeth at me (upwards).
3) Pour the Everclear into his throat. (I’m not too sure about what Everclear is…if it’s alcoholic, then he’ll like it and drink it all up. Then, hopefully, fall asleep. Although maybe he’s too big…)
4) Drop sledgehammer onto hippo’s head. Repeatedly. NOW he’s asleep.
5) Wedge hippo’s head under the wooden tables, which are wedged under the bars of the cage.
6) (Optional; I don’t want to kill him) Slit his throat. :(</p>
<p>^^ Your ninja skills bounce right of my pirate awesomeness and into the hippo’s nose.</p>
<p>ninja skills aren’t a weapon available to you unless you actually have 'em</p>
<p>Darn…I’ll just use whatever Asian skills I have.</p>
<p>Retreat back to my Southern African Heritage. Bring out those Tribal Warrior Skills!</p>
<p>While Goodbyehello and MIT keep it busy, I tear a strip of my shirt and stuff it in the neck of the Everclear bottle. I then pull out my fire bar and strike a flame, making a small molotov cocktail. I toss this into the hippo’s mouth.</p>
<ol>
<li>Down the 190 proof Everclear as fast as possible. Become invincible. </li>
</ol>
<p>I’ve only heard of Everclear coming in 151 and 190 proof concentrations.</p>
<p>Alternatively, I could use the knife and rock to create a spark to set fire to the Everclear, and escape. But that’s boring.</p>