<p>Better yet…</p>
<p>strike a flame using rock and knife, ignite everclear, throw that thing at the hippo, then proceed to beat mercilessly.</p>
<p>by the way, you can’t really escape with the african crime lord and his thugs just outside</p>
<p>easy. set the hippo on the crime lord and his thugs. you achieve this by straddling the hippo and riding him out of the 100x100 arena (that part was irrelevant), killing anyone you see with the rock, knife, and/or sledgehammer (hippos have huge backs for carrying this heavy stuff). </p>
<p>now that you have escaped, allow the hippo to rest a bit, then let him down the everclear. this will make him invincible, and he will transport you back to your home via swimming. you are on his back all this time, singing his favorite song, “the lion sleeps tonight”. once you’re home, you log on to collegeconfidential and post about your adventures with your new-found hippo. you can even teach him to become literate and do your homework! <a href=“Digital Learning Platform & Resources | Discovery Education”>Digital Learning Platform & Resources | Discovery Education;
<p>“Alternatively, I could use the knife and rock to create a spark to set fire to the Everclear, and escape. But that’s boring.”</p>
<p>“strike a flame using rock and knife, ignite everclear, throw that thing at the hippo, then proceed to beat mercilessly.”</p>
<p>Copycats… :P</p>
<p>I wonder what a Hippo would taste like.</p>
<p>Why was it a hippo again? Why isn’t a lion or a cheetah?</p>
<p>I think a lion or cheetah…even a elephant would be more dangerous than a hippo.</p>
<p>I’m assuming I’m afforded the ability to set up the stadium before the fight. I’d set up the tables in a close line near the wall of the cage, put the ladder on the edge of the stadium and place the rock on top, place the serrated knife in my belt, and place the sledgehammer on one of the tables, and the trash can near the tables and the steel chair some distance between the ladder and the tables. I’m not afforded a match, so I would break the bottle in half, and place the more weapon-like half near the tables as well as a backup weapon.</p>
<p>Next, I would stand on one of the tables with the sledgehammer in hand. Fighting a hippo is clearly incredibly dangerous, and thus I’m banking on my ability to out-manoeuvre the hippo. Taking the hippo as extremely aggressive as noted, a few taunts would likely be enough to incite the hippo to charge at me. As the charge nears, I would time it so that I would jump, attempt to hit the hippo as hard as possible (particularly in the eyes), and land on the next table as the hippo crashes into the first. This should disorient and pain the hippo to some extent, and afford me enough time to prepare my second attack. The second attack would occur in the same fashion, and on the third attack, I would throw the sledgehammer near the trash can, and pull out my serrated knife. As the hippo charges this time, I would attempt to stab my knife into an eye and remove it quickly afterwards, hopefully blinding or severely wounding the vision of the hippo along with the previous sledgehammer attacks and the disorienting charges into the tables. At this point, I would gauge my success in blinding the hippo. If not entirely successful, but the hippo is wounded enough to be closely approached and out-manoeuvred, I would attempt to use the glass bottle or the knife to blind the hippo more. If that is an unviable option, I would attempt to cram the aluminium trash can over the head of the hippo. At this point, the hippo should be severely disoriented, and I have two options. One, depending on my remaining endurance (as a long-distance runner I should be able to handle the stress), I would either attempt to outmanoeuvre the hippo some more and whack it into submission with the sledgehammer, or I would quickly grab the sledge hammer and run to the nearby ladder (possibly distracting the hippo with the steel chair if necessary), and mount it. This option is not as preferable, as there is a high chance the hippo may dislodge the ladder if I cannot thoroughly attach it to the cage walls and the floor. From the ladder, I would hurl the rock from 15 feet, utilizing both gravity and my added force to attempt to inflict a significant blow on the hippo.</p>
<p>At this point, if everything has gone right, the hippo should be close to submission and then death. If not, my only remaining option is to attempt to maintain my height above the hippo on the ladder and attack it periodically with the sledgehammer.</p>
<p>Preferably, my ideal end-game would be the out-manoeuvring with the sledgehammer. I would stick close to the cage walls, and utilize the hippo’s own power against it, as it would continuously crash into the cage walls in an attempt to hit me.</p>
<p>Unless hippos don’t charge. In which case I’m ****ed.</p>
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<p>I’d rather take the cheetah myself. Lion is a toss up.</p>
<p>Tackling a hippo will pose a much more entertaining image for the audience though. Besides, fighting lions is so overrated.</p>