<p>As birth order would have it, my H and I find ourselves re-entered the college admission sweepstakes with our D as our S begins his senior year of college. </p>
<p>If you knew me, you would know that it's never too early to begin panicking about his future. </p>
<p>I feel as though this is the logical jump-off for us in terms of letting him decide his next move. We've made it very clear all along that it's now his sister's turn...and whatever he decides to do, he needs to be pretty much on his own in terms of financial support. </p>
<p>Interested in hearing from other parents out there whose S & Ds are approaching their senior year of college...any insight and musings you could provide would be most appreciated.</p>
<p>If you want to panic, why not ask parents of '10 (or even '09) grads who are still unemployed/underemployed? I want my S#1 ('10) to be on his own, but he’s not there yet.</p>
<p>I wish he had applied to grad school LAST fall/winter instead of looking for temp work and applying this fall. Be aware of deadlines. Advise kid to do research on grad programs/jobs this summer, if possible.</p>
<p>I notice that my son '11, who will have loans to pay back, is seriously doing what he can to develop the skills and experience to get a job in his field, theater tech. I feel confident that he’ll find a job even if it isn’t in his field. He also doesn’t want to move back home even though he’d be very welcome back home with us.</p>
<p>The combination of wanting to make it in his beloved chosen field that he has been working very hard in, and not wanting to move back home assures me that he’ll have some kind of job at graduation or shortly thereafter.</p>
<p>^^ Wow, I want to be that confident, but even with great motivation, in our part of the country (Midwest) I feel that things could be dicey for anyone who wants to get a job - motivated or not. </p>
<p>D who will be senior has done her “homework” the last 3 years getting oodles of hands on experience in her field in the form of internships, conferences, networking, classes, activities etc. She continually updates her resume and portfolio. She keeps a log of professional contacts. I think she will be as prepared as she can be, but we know that that does not guarantee a paycheck.</p>
<p>Our plan is to take it step by step. Not going to cut her off our phone plan June 1, 2011 or anything. We will have conversation throughout the year to make sure she is looking ahead to the spring and job opportunities. We will encourage her to think about priorities - new car or your own apt? New car or the chance to take a job in a town away from home? Stuff like that. It seems to be harder to get my husband to see that it is not our obligation to keep footing her bills, but to gradually, IMO, have her take responsibility for them - which we sort of do now. Sure we’ll buy her what she needs for her school apt. , pay the school bills that we agreed on, buy shoes/clothes that are “needed” - but her entertainment, clothes just for fun, etc. she foots the bill.</p>
<p>I’m not confident that he’ll get a job in his field. I’m confident that he’ll get some kind of job. Honestly, I’d rather that he come home and go to grad school, which he could do virtually for free. He’s a joy to be around.</p>
<p>However, he really, really, really doesn’t want to return to our small city, which lacks the opportunities that he needs to get a decent job in his chosen field. He reminds me of how I was when I was in grad school the first time. I would have been welcome to return home, but I hated my hometown, so moved heaven and earth so I got a job elsewhere.</p>
<p>S already is doing a lot so he’ll be employable after graduation so that’s why I have confidence that he’ll get some kind of job even if it’s not in his field. It may be a job that lacks benefits, but I’d bet money that he won’t be returning home. Darn it…</p>
<p>I also have kids 4 yrs apart with the oldest graduating from college next spring. She likely has Med school in the future but is planning on taking a couple year break to pursue other interests first. This fall she’ll be applying to programs that will in large part support her, such as Americorps, MFAs (only those with grant, fellowship or assistantship support), and possibly Rhodes, Marshall, etc.</p>
<p>True financial independence still seems quite a ways away since D1 could easily be in and out of school for the next 5+ years, but I kind of look at it as a continuation of the attitude and practice I’ve had throughout bringing them up. They’re expected to contribute and to be productive, sometimes that means making money, sometimes it means investing in their future. For better or worse, I’ve never set any firm rules, but have tried to instill an understanding of what fiscal responsibility means. Recently I’ve been trying to educate D1 about matters such as investing for retirement (I started a Roth IRA for her when she earned money in HS), taxes and health insurance.</p>
<p>Thanks for the insight. My S is returning home this week from a semester abroad. Prior to this, most of our focus was on his educational odyssey and future plans would be dealt with at a later date. Perhaps he’ll come home a changed person, but to date he has always been a “living in the moment” free spirit (with good grades, intellectual curiousity and a steady string of jobs and internships). </p>
<p>I tend to agree with northstarmom – in the short-term, I picture him finding almost any means of support to avoid coming home and living with mom and dad. I think the uncertainty of his future (and the job market in general) coupled with the increasing realization that I need to shed my helicopter mom tendencies is only further clouding an already murky situation. </p>
<p>It’s refreshing to know that I’m not alone…so, yes, atomom, I’d love to hear more from parents of the Class of '09 and '10 who’ve found themselves in similar situations. My impression is that those who’ve avoided unemployment or underemployment have either: a) been incredibly diligent; b) been incredibly lucky; c) have had incredible connections; or d) some combination of the three.</p>
<p>My D will graduate in '11. She is worried about her future, but she is taking positive steps toward her goals. She is in an internship and participates in several activities that will help her get a job in her chosen field. She wants to work in a field that is VERY hard to break into, particularly for a woman, but she has no problem beginning in a low-level job & working her way up. Even to get a low-level job, she will need connections, so she is making those. She also has some back up plans in terms of what she could do school-wise if she can’t land a job in her field. </p>
<p>She is strongly motivated by the desire to do just about anything OTHER than come home to live with the 'rents.</p>
<p>Like most above, my '11 S has no intention of coming home after graduation next spring. And we have no intention of inviting him .</p>
<p>He has been slowly moving away for the past three years: he has negotiated leases and lived in rented houses for the past two years; he has started utility services and new bank accounts. He purchased a car on his own (OOS) and has figured out how to pay for it. This summer he moved out to San Francisco for a summer internship, without a place to live or knowing anyone in SF. And we don’t need to cut off his phone service because he informed us this spring that he was buying a new phone and starting his own account.</p>
<p>I believe that because he expects to be on his own after graduation, he will make it happen. I do not anticipate reminding him of any deadlines or nagging him to go on job interviews. I will offer to pay for his flights back to CT at Christmas for a visit.</p>
<p>Well I will jump in with the other extreme. S will hopefully graduate in May 11 or possibly after 1 session of summer term next summer. He is clueless about looking for a job. He comes from the school of it will all work out and things fall into place. No worries.
We are hoping he will not be moving back home.</p>
<p>My son came home for a visit Father’s Day weekend . . . with a shaved head. Not a fashion statement, he shaved it because he was “hot”. Let’s just say not the best look for a kid who’s 5’ 11" and maybe 140 lbs. dripping wet! My first thought (unexpressed to him) was along the line of “Oh no, he’s not going to interview for jobs looking like that!”</p>
<p>So, like mom60, I am expecting a certain amount of “cluelessness” from my dear son!</p>
<p>We are pretty good to our kids, I would have thought it would be easy for our kids to want to come home. It is not the case. I think D1 would do practically anything to not have to live at home after graduation. If this summer is any indication of what future will be, I have a feeling that we wouldn´t be seeing much of D1.</p>
<p>D1 is enjoying her internship in NYC. She likes her work and she hopes that she would be offer a permanent position when she graduates next year. It would take a lot of pressure off her senior year. Before she started her internship, I was worried that she may not like the work. If that´s the case then she would have re-think her plan. </p>
<p>D1 really likes the neighborhood she is living in now, Chelsea, so I wouldn´t be surprised if she were to get an apartment in Chelsea next year. </p>
<p>H and I are thinking hard about how much we want to cut her off: 1) do we take her off our family phone plan, 2) should we help out with her apartment in order for her to be in a safer building, 3) do we pay for her airfare to visit us, 4) what about family vacations (assuming she would want to come with us), 5) I have bought her clothes for 21 years, not sure how I would cut that off.</p>
<p>S1 graduated in '09 and just finished his first year of grad school. We still cover his phone (much cheaper that way) and he is on our health insurance policy (in addition to what his school provides) but, other than that, he is “off the payroll”, as my husband likes to say. He is quite frugal and has actually managed to save a little! S2 is two years younger, but in a five year program so he has two more years of school. We hope that the economy will be stronger by then and that his choice of engineering and expected master’s degree will give him a good shot at gainful employment. Happily, neither will have debt (though we took on a small home equity loan) and S1 has a grant that allows him to concentrate on his own work for four years without TAing. It’s hard to even think about what things will look like when he finishes up.</p>
<p>S has his plan A and plan B. A involves his artistic major and plan B involves grad school in his other major. He informed me that the exams for grad school were accepted for up to 5 years which he said would give him an opportunity to see where the artistic interest leads him.</p>
<p>He has been doing the networking on the artisitic interest since mid-sophmore year to have employment after graduation. </p>
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<p>S has known since starting middle school that the end of college marks the fork in the road where he chooses his path and figures out how to make his choices happen. With very advanced notice and a deep understanding that this position isn’t a “maybe,” the process of making him responsible along the way for ever increasing autonomy seems to have worked.</p>
<p>Our 2010 grad was plenty worried about finding a job throughout his senior year of college, so we did no nagging and tried to be nothing but supportive and encouraging. He did finally get an offer in April and started in May, the day after graduation. The job search was not easy, despite being an engineering major with good grades, good school, and good internship experience, so he is very thankful for his job and does not take it for granted that he found employment. He is working with a number of temporary hires who would love to be in his position as a permanent employee with the firm.</p>
<p>We gave him a number of graduation gifts to ease his transition (new laptop, new luggage, new cell phone, new clothes for work), but he is on his own in terms of operating costs, including cell phone plan.</p>
<p>The economy is still scary out there. If the student is the diligent type or a worrier, I would try to be encouraging. On the other hand, if they are laissez-faire, I might be passing on lots of tidbits to help them realize finding a job can be difficult. I believe I read that 24% of the 2010 grads had jobs at graduation, up from 20% the year before, which was down from 26% in 2008 and 51% in 2007. (That is just those who are looking, so excludes students going to grad school.)</p>
<p>My son would not mind moving home. He loves our small city and he has learned to appreciate the beauty after spending the last few years in a city that is not very nice or very pretty. Plus most of son’s good friends are still here in town at the Comm College. If he could find work here he would be thrilled. He is also not a spender so his needs are few.
He is also in an artistic field where it is unlikely he will have much recruitment on campus. His area of interest is not a field that hires early.
He also has expressed an interest in teaching middle school as an art or math teacher. He would need to take some math classes at the CC before doing some testing and applying to a credential program.
In my son’s mind school hasn’t even started for the fall so why should we be thinking about May!</p>
<p>I guess, we can consider our '10 graduate S lucky. He applied to Teach for America and got in. He starts teaching next month, with first year teacher salary and benefits. It will keep him off our “payroll” with exception for cell phone(we’ll keep him on our family plan). He also got some graduation presents( new i-phone, lots of “teacher” clothes, our old car to get around Phoenix). He is planning to save as much as he can for law school.</p>
<p>Oh! i have a question. How much do the I-phones cost? I was thinking about it as a grad. gift. Kids thinks they are at a disadvantage if they don’t have one, but is the bigger expense the service? Just asking…</p>
<p>We’re lucky. My '11 son is very employable. He’s had well paid internships in his field and I expect he will get a good job offer from one of the companies he’s worked for. He’s really grown up - he’s gone off to the opposite coast for the last two summers. Rented apartments, leased furniture (!), arranged for internet service etc. The only bad thing is that he’s likely to settle down in Silicone Valley not around here.</p>
<p>oldfort, I’ve been mulling these questions, too (post 12), but like abasket, my husband seems more wiling to keep supporting our daughter than I do.</p>
<p>We will keep her on our cell plan, as long as she wants to be. If she gets a well-paying job and wants to stay on our plan to save money, I’d consider asking her to pay us her part. I’m sure my husband would nix that idea.</p>
<p>Rent help: I’d really prefer not to. </p>
<p>Airfare to visit us: Yes, I’d do this.</p>
<p>Family vacations: I’d absolutely pay for this. </p>
<p>Clothes: If she gets the type of job where she needs to dress really well (which is doubtful given her interests), I’d take her shopping a couple times to buy her the basics. </p>
<p>My daughter has a major which many here on CC disparage as unemployable. However, she has had two fabulous internships and has a very strong resume. She is seriously considering Americorps. If she does that, I’m sure we’ll have to supplement her income, especially if she ends up in a city. She loves her hometown, but doesn’t want to settle here – and we’re thinking about moving anyway. And the last thing I want is her living at home when we are showing the house to prospective buyers.</p>
<p>Right now, she has a fair amount of money saved up – but is thinking about blowing a lot of it on a trip to Europe next summer. I won’t go into details, but it’s not a trip I support, and I worry about her spending a lot of her savings on it. I haven’t said a word about my feelings, because it is her money and her life. But I do drop hints like – “landlords want first month and last month rent plus security deposit” to impress on her that her savings really won’t go too far.</p>
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