That sounds perfect. All of it.
We may be bad neighbors, but when one of our neighbors died and we didn’t know what the family would need, we sent a gift card to a local Asian restaurant. We figured they could use it when they were ready.
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In situations like this, I often like to give either breakfast or lunch foods, unless dinner is specifically requested. Often friends are focused on making sure they have dinner, so there ends up being a lot of dinner donations. But it’s nice to also not have to think about breakfast/lunch. Even if I’m making dinner, I often will also include pastry/bagels w/cream cheese (both of which can easily be frozen), or chicken salad with rolls or croissants with some fruit. Gift cards to local restaurants are also nice. Where I live, a lot of restaurants have added family style carryout meals which can be a nice break from Italian food and casseroles, or saved for later when all the donations have ended.
I’m sorry for your neighbor and his family. It’s kind of you to think of them while they spend his last days together.
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Go to meal is definitely carrots.
I was on the receiving end a few years ago. My three kids were young and it was mostly about feeding them and my husband since I had no appetite from chemo. We did like the gift cards to local restaurants the best. We were fortunate to get lots of food which we appreciated so greatly. It was challenging to eat it all while it was fresh.
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These are good:
I have also done them individually on onion rolls and wrapped them in aluminum foil. I have sent those individual ones along with a large pot of veggie soup.
I’ve also done a brisket. Sliced it up after cooking and put it back in a disposable aluminum pan. Send with mashed potatoes or potato salad and/or coleslaw. Leftovers can be made into sandwiches, so you can also send fixin’s (bread, chips, dill pickles, etc) for that for the next day.
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MY go to meal - from a meal when #3 was born given to me.
bbq/sweet/sour meatballs homemade. Loaded mashed potatoes. brownies (or banana/blueberry bread). Fruit salad. Comfort foods for sure.
(I love making baby dinners; now it’s mostly sympathy dinners.) 91 yr old inlaws like this meal; so do little kids.
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You are a very thoughtful neighbor. You may want to chat with the family to find out what their eating preferences are. Some people do not eat casseroles. I would suggest flowers and a Doordash gift card.
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Several years ago we cooked a simple meat dish in the crockpot for a family with a newborn. They later admitted it was a favorite because they got a lot of pasta dishes!
I have also (when pressed for time) taken a rotisserie chicken, salad and a deli side.
I’ve given and received so many meals over the years - I don’t really have a go to. I’ve dropped simple things like banana bread and fruit to crock pot ribs/baked potatoes/slaw to subs/chips/fruit or soup/salad/bread.
Having been on the kind receiving end of meal gifts, I would second the recommendation for DoorDash or GrubHub or something similar.
We actually ran out of space to put things in the fridge/freezer and most of the meals were things that many in the family couldn’t eat because of major food allergies.
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We had a neighbor/friend who was terminally ill and undergoing intense and debilitating treatments for weeks on end for a couple of years, and there was just a long “bring them a meal” sign-up list for those weeks. I would say 80% of the meals people listed were red sauce italian dishes, so I agree…bring anything but that! When it was my turn, I would often do a quiche + green salad, or a stew, or even just grab a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store and add some mashed potatoes and a vegetable. Because it was scheduled and the family could see and plan for what was being brought when (IIRC, on any given week where there was a need, there would be four slots to sign up, with the understanding that people are generous with quantities and fridge space is limited).
When I’ve wanted to be helpful and supportive in similar situations, but there is no similar coordination, I’ve just given a DoorDash gift cert, to let the family use it when it best served them.
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This does not help @deb922 as she is not organizing the meals effort she in her own kind heart just wants to help…
But, I organized meals for a family for over a year and what we eventually figured out was that having a meal brought over 2- 3x a week by someone was plenty. Daily was too much. Sometimes the family just wanted to get pizza or sometimes they just wanted Kraft mac and cheese and could do that themselves! Something to keep in mind if you’re ever organizing a meal “train”.
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My friends had Covid so I made a veg chili with no spice and brought a bag of chips too. I also made chicken stew and brought a side of butter biscuits. I’ve given people leek and potato soup. A friend who had surgery loved that because she had no energy for anything else.
The last time I had to give a meal I bought a Costco rotisserie chicken and made my potato salad and a green salad with dressing on the side and homemade chocolate chip cookies for dessert. I figured if they didn’t eat all of the chicken they could use it later for other meals.
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Wanted to add…although I used to cook in these situations, nowadays, when I want to bring a meal to someone, I tend to get something from a locally-owned restaurant. That way, it becomes a double-kindness. Care and comfort to someone I know and financial support to an appreciative small business.
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Rice and bean casserole, I had some black beans leftover and I added rice, it was amazingly good. Complete protein too.
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This was a while ago, but when a friend had hand surgery, a group of us (We were living in London at the time) sent a ham. She loved it. You could add a potato casserole (white or sweet) and a salad and brownies. She said that they used the ham for breakfast, lunch and dinner. A turkey breast from Heavenly Hams could work too.
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This isn’t a meal and works better for a funeral when you expect lots of out-of-town company, but I leave a cooler of assorted drinks on the back porch so people always have something to offer guests. And I’ll go back after a day or two to replenish.
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When my parents died, my friends helped so much, and included disposable coolers, ice and drinks. So helpful.
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