Your parents' style

College Confidential Community
1

<p>What is your parents' style when it comes to your education? Do they follow a hands-on or hands-off approach? Do you like this style, or do you wish you could change it? </p>

<p>Personally, my mom and dad don't push me very hard, if at all; I'm the only one of five children who's academically savvy, and as such, they're not into this whole college thing. Nonetheless, I still manage to get good grades (all the pressure comes from within), and I wouldn't change it for the world.</p>

<p>Thoughts?</p>

2

<p>My parents back off when I say so. My mom wants to push me, and she does that a lot in summertime, but I tell her very little. My dad doesn't really do much except "Oh, good job".</p>

3

<p>Mostly hands-off, although my dad really encourages me to be an engineer.</p>

4

<p>My parents want to know how things are going, but generally, they are pretty hands off. They follow the "whatever feel right to you" and the "as long as you're happy/learning" approach to parenting, which I think is nice.</p>

5

<p>my parents are asian. i think that should say everything. if you need an example, they signed me up for SAT courses without my asking even after I got a 2230 (750CR 800M 680W) because they felt like my writing score was not good enough.</p>

6

<p>My parents are the ones who have nothing to do with how I do in school, and it's basically me that signs up for everything/researches anything I need (thank you, Internet). However, the slightest sign that I'm slipping in something, and they get all *<strong><em>ed off, that's what *</em></strong>es me off, especially when I'm so self-sufficient as it is.</p>

7

<p>@autumn
Yeah, I suppose that about sums up my parents' approach. My dad honestly couldn't care less (except for the occasional "good job"), and my mom's happy with whatever I do, as long as I'm comfortable with it.</p>

8

<p>My mom only supports us and tries to get the best for us. My dad, I'm sure cares, but is very, very, very hands-off. They don't really push me, but I rather puush myself.</p>

9

<p>My parents just expect me to get good grades. They don't ever push me or anything. Because i have never not gotten an A i guess they would surprised if i got a B.</p>

10

<p>I procrastinate like mad (as I'm doing now) but I ALWAYS get the work done and do it really well and get great grades. My parents never know when I'm procrastinating because I just tell them I'm working, and I know that if they knew they wouldn't stand for it. If I procrastinate visibly even a little bit, they get on my case. Wish they could just trust me to work in whatever way works for me...</p>

<p>My mom's been sort of weird about the whole college process, though. She just assumes that I'll get into Ivy Leagues, and she wants me to go to the Ivies (read: Harvard, Yale. I do genuinely like Brown and will definitely apply, but apparently just the one's not enough), and she seriously thinks that selectivity is the truest measure of a college's worth. I've been trying and trying to get her to see that there are more than 100 great schools out there, then she turns around and accuses me of being "closed-minded." WHO is the closed-minded one here - the one who has her sights set on the "top" 100 schools, or the one who realizes that the 4,000 other colleges out there could be great, too?? Grr... Sorry to rant, I've just been rather frustrated lately.</p>

11

<p>i get straight A's and everything... my parents push and support me... but i push myself... they helped me become as i am now.. so now i push myself to do perfect work.. (they do too :) )</p>

12

<p>To those of you whose parents are not overly involved in the college search process..........don't be discouraged - it could be a blessing in disguise.</p>

<p>I spent 30 years as a college counselor (now retired). I witnessed all levels of parental involvement in the college process and, without question, the most "nightmarish" situtations were those in which the parents were overly involved in the college selection process. On the flipside, some of the most gratifying results came from situations in which the parents maintained a "hands-off" approach. The ideal scenario falls somewhere in between these two extremes.</p>

<p>If your parents don't seem to exhibit much interest in the college search process, don't let it get to you. There are a variety of reasons why parents do not get involved (for example: they may feel inadequate in their ability to help you, they may be apprehensive about your leaving home, etc.). Instead, you, along with your college counselor, should tackle the process by taking the necessary steps involved in selecting a college.</p>

<p>Quite frankly, selecting the "right" college is not a difficult process. It boils down to three main elements: (1) Taking a close look at who you are and identifying those college qualities that you consider most important, (2) Doing research and talking to others to find out which schools might be a good match, (3) Visiting campuses to get a "gut feeling" about whether or not those schools are a good fit for you.</p>

<p>The main things you should look for from your parents are: (1) Getting an indication of how much financial support they can provide relative to college costs, (2) Having them transport you to college visits, and (3) Helping you to fill out financial aid applications. Beyond these three things, most intelligent and highly motivated students are capable of navigating the college search process.</p>

<p>One word of advice: The college search process is not as complicated as most college-bound students make it out to be. Don't analyze things to the nth degree, as way too many students do. Really. Keep things as simple as possible and don't get carried away with researching too many colleges. </p>

<p>In my experience of working with literally thousands of students, some of the best college decisions were made by students who viewed the process in simple terms; some of the worst were made by students who spent countless hours doing college research to insure that they were making the right college choice.</p>

<p>Again, don't get discouraged if your parents are not involved in the process of choosing a college. Think of it this way: students whose parents control the process end up going to a college that meets their PARENTS' needs, while you will end up at a college that meets YOUR needs!!!</p>

<p>Hope this helps.</p>

13

<p>I do EVERYTHING on my own. Absolutely no help from anyone, counselor, family, and maybe just a little from my friends.</p>

14

<p>its mostly me..my parents are hands off and just want me to achieve stuff because I want it.</p>

15

<p>I'm exactly like you, aristotle1990 -- the only "academically savvy" of 5 children, parents are very hands-off, etc. =)</p>

16

<p>russiasaurus - I'm exactly like you, I procrastinate like mad, but at the end of the day (or even in the morning) I get the work done and I do it well. And I always tell my mom that I'm "working" too cause if she really knew how badly I procrastinated she would flip out. But, luckily my parents aren't as stict on the whole you have to apply to an ivy league thing. They want me to go to a top 30 school, but not necessarily ivy league.</p>

17

<p>apathy! same here
My dad was so mad when I got a 760 on SAT II history. He was just like how could you not get a 800!! :( </p>

<p>I think my parents try to pretend they are not pushy, but they are. My mom is expecting me to still to CR practices and memorize voc even though I just took the test in June.</p>

<p>And plus my parents think that anything less than top 5 is not good. and less than top 10 is bad :( [sigh] Worst part is that everyone from my school's parents are the same.</p>

18

<p>My mom would be proud of me whether or not I went to college, as long as I turned out a decent and happy person. My stepmom a little less so, but within normal limits.</p>

<p>My dad, on the other hand... My dad would flip out if I so much as got a B on a test. It really bothers him that none of the other 8 kids went to college like him, and now I'm his one shining hope for an offspring that can "make something of herself". Fortunately, I enjoy school, but he makes me a little nuts sometimes.</p>

19

<p>My mom is a college career counselor and got her Master's in psychology from Columbia. She is never afraid to smother me with her advice, since she does this as her profession, but she knows that she can only do so much.</p>

<p>My dad is a physician who likes to watch old episodes of "Have Gun, Will Travel" and "Maverick" in the call room at the hospital. He basically just wants to talk as a change of pace from his idiot colleagues, so he's pretty relaxed about colleges. I joke that he thinks he's a cowboy in a Brooklyn guy's body. He actually suggested, when I was in high school, to consider the University of Montana in Missoula and enjoy the "sagebrush and the wildlife".</p>

20

<p>My mom is "do what I you wish, I'll support you whatever you do; so long as it's reasonable."
My dad is like "apply to enough high tiers and youll get into one of them. Screw LAC's."</p>