Your turn....Suitemates drinking WAY out of control....

<p>So I polled the parents on what to advise my D. Here is the situation and i want to hear from students on how to handle without being ostracized by everyone.</p>

<p>D was moved to new room after break due to mechanical problems at her old room that were not fixable. she is one of 4 girls in singles in a suite. The last girl in her room moved out and has been referred to as being "mean" and stuff. HOWEVER, the truth is coming out as these other 3 girls are party machines, every night, and way into the night. Friday night after party started at 3:30 and went hard with yelling until 5:30 a.m.</p>

<p>My D is not a drinker but doesn't mind some drinking around her. She can have fun with people drinking or not. They know she doesn't drink. BUT she has to have sleep to be able to function and do well in COLLEGE which is really why she is there.</p>

<p>How should she handle this situation....to kind of get a reasonableness restored. Remember they ran off the last girl.</p>

<p>Is there an RA or someone who can try to control the other girls? Have some sort of suite meeting and try to set some sort of reasonable rules?</p>

<p>If they want to party and then come home and go to bed, thats fine, but having a party in their suite isn't very considerate. But before moving out, I'd actually TRY to talk to the suitemates about no parties in the suite (or just save it for Friday/Saturday), and possibly even try to talk to the previous girl and see if thats why she really moved. </p>

<p>I really think that I'd personally switch rooms because I wouldn't be able to successfully confront them about it and get it resolved (3 partiers vs me....I loose)</p>

<p>I think she might have to resign herself to moving, but she should at least talk to the girls about it. I also like OKgirl's suggestion of trying to talk to the previous girl who lived there.</p>

<p>i'm not in college, but if i were your daughter i'd just move without even informing the other girls (unless i was friends with them of course).</p>

<p>thanks for the input. status is she is going to see how this week goes....one girl seems to be less of a partier and if she can get her on the low party or no party side, then they have equal footing to get control of the suite....an alliance??? Good advice to say out to party fine but come home and go to bed, don't start another at 3 a.m. in the suite.</p>

<p>I would be extraordinarily surprised if the dorm doesn't already have a "quiet hours" policy that specifies limits on noise in the rooms and halls during the week and weekend. </p>

<p>Assuming your daughter is a well-adjusted young adult capable of handling personal matters responsibly and politely, she should
a) Ask the roommates to stop. Explain that she has trouble sleeping when they are yelling in the room, and that she would prefer them to keep the party outside. Congratulate them on handling their collegiate independence like spoiled toddlers and their selfish lack of respect for the people around them.*
b) If that fails, go to the RA and tell them that rules aren't being followed. Followup for disciplinary action against the offenders.
In this order. Better than resorting to petty tribalism.</p>

<p>Your daughter will most likely have to weigh a good night's sleep against being resented by the suitemates. Nobody said life is easy. She could always just move. </p>

<p>*Optional</p>

<p>I would say she has to move. Everything suggested probably has zero chance of working and still having the suite be a non-hostile livable enviroment, becasue if they are made to stop partying they are going to resent it.</p>

<p>i'd suggest she move out..she's going to be miserable around these girls if they end up hating her after she rats them out to an RA.</p>

<p>I had this same problem, but it wasn't the drinking and noise that was the issue, it was that my suitemates refused to clean up after parties and any other time, and the room became a disgusting trash heap. Cleaning up after negligent irresponsible suitemates is a huge waste of time and effort, so I moved out as soon as I could.</p>