So I got a full ride to UMD w/ Banneker Key. And it’s really been stressing me out. Everyone sort of expects full rides to be the best deal ever and an amazing thing you cannot turn down. But I’m considering turning it down for Carnegie Mellon SCS. I just don’t see the “full ride” benefitting me.
My parents don't care where I go and are willing to pay for anywhere. Our EFC is 50k and their yearly income combined is around 116000. CMU is 50k/year. I think they have a lot of college funds or something that makes our EFC much higher than it should be?
I think it's unfair how I work SO hard for my grades and extracurriculars and I am currently enrolled in a local public school whereas my brother, who is enrolled in an expensive private middle school, gets very terrible grades, never completes his assignments, and plays video games all day, is most likely going to end up going to an expensive private high school and then some expensive college that will force my parents to play completely out of pocket. Why should I make financial sacrifices for my family when my brother's the only one who will benefit?
My parents somehow have good credit but spend a lot of money on what I would consider unnecessary items. E.G. My mom buys a lot of designer clothing and jewelry. This is obviously within her right since it's their own income, but if I take this full ride, they're just going to have more money to spend on themselves.
The 200k we'll be saving, at least I'm pretty sure, most likely won't be given to me if I were to choose UMD. I'm not completely sure about this, but I'm guessing my parents will keep it for themselves.
Do CS majors usually need graduate school? I most likely won't be getting my masters for a while. I was planning to possibly go back to graduate school to study music composition/performance part time as I work or something.. But I don't believe I'll need my parents for that. Right?
I hope this doesn’t come off as pretentious. I’ve been fairly independent throughout high school: studying on my own when all those around me had private tutors, paying for some of my college application fees and my own prom tickets. I feel like I deserve to be a bit selfish with my college decision.
If I were your parents you wouldn’t have a choice- a full ride vs $50,000 a year isn’t even debatable to me. Your parents should get to keep their $200,000 for whatever they want, be it fancy items or retirement- you’re not entitled to their money.
We had $$$$ saved for DS#2 that was earmarked for college. He chose instead a very good scholarship at a good private university that made his COA (for everything, including travel, auto maintenance, books, and of course room/board) around $12K/year. We gifted him the balance of the $ on his 21st birthday. It was a tidy sum. He now lives/works in Silicon valley and that extra $$ sure comes in handy out there, if he needs to touch it.
@milgymfam Thanks for your perspective! They’ve left it up to me to choose. I understand that a lot of people don’t get this opportunity, so a part of me wants to take it.
You are in a very very fortunate position that your parents are letting you decide your college regardless of net cost. This decision has nothing to do with your brother, your mom’s spending habits, your prom tickets, etc.
Go to CMU. It is world class in CS. Work hard, be grateful to your parents, and don’t look back.
Congrats on your great options. My DD and I visited UMD for B/K and were extremely impressed. My DD put UMD equal to UVA on her list, but both ended up being $150,000 more than the school she selected.
Tuition of $50,000 is about half of your parents’ combined income of $116,000, if this combined income is before tax money. Save the $50k ($200k for four years) for your future (investing, business seed money, down payment of a house, anything!) and get a great education from UMCP.
In that case I would look at it as though it was your money being spent anyway. If it were yours rather than your parents, would you still think CMU was worth $200,000 more than UMD? You did apply to both, so there must have been appealing parts to both schools. What makes you lean toward CMU despite the cost?
$50k/yr for $116K/yr income is a lot of money! And for CS/engineer jobs prestige does not matter too much. Google’s Sergey Brin went to UMD undergrad CS; it cannot be that bad.
So you want your parents to pay 40% of their gross income for your college costs? On top of paying for private school for your brother? After tax they will have hardly any money left for living expenses. How do you know that designer clothing isn’t being paid for by running up credit card bills?
Have your parents actually said they will pay $200K for college when you can go for free and explained that they have the money in a 529 or investment account to pay for college? What happens if they suddenly say “no we can’t afford it” in a year or two (or sooner when they see the first bill) and you end up at community college? If you hate your family and value your independence, it’s much better to have your future under your control, which is what a full ride gives you, rather than being completely dependent on their ability and willingness to fund you for the next four years. Beggars can’t be choosers. So bluntly the answer to your question is yes.
I have three daughters. D1 chose a school where she had a great scholarship over what was originally her first choice. The school she chose met all of her needs and saved her family a tremendous amount of money. The savings will not be going to her. It will be going to help educate her sisters. D2 will be starting this fall at a more expensive school and will likely also need money for graduate school. D1 does not begrudge her sister because D1 has what she needs. In fact, she is proud that her hard work will help her sisters. She is contributing to the well being of her family. I didn’t force her to make this choice, but I am very proud of her for doing it.
I would have a frank conversation with your parents. Ask them how comfortable they are with the more expensive choice. Perhaps they have funds set aside that you don’t know about and they really don’t mind the more expensive option. Perhaps the money you save would be set aside for graduate school if you need. Perhaps, like me, they would be really grateful and proud of you for making the choice that is better financially.
Sit your parents down and run this calculator. Find out where the money is going to come from if you pay full price at CMU. Yes, some parents do have college funds set up. Others have additional sources of money such as home equity loans.
I can completely understand your frustration that your brother is in a private school while you are in a public school. To you it looks like that might be a frivolous way for your parents to spend their money. On the other hand, he might not have been born with the same natural focus that you have that has enabled you to get the most out of your school and earn the grades that landed you that big scholarship at UM-CP. Your parents might have decided that the private school was a better choice for him right now.
Do you have any solid evidence that your parents aren’t smart about money? Do they have a whole lot of consumer debt? If so, then one of the best things that you can do for yourself is to get away from that kind of financial craziness, and to set yourself up to not repeat their financial mistakes. UM-CP could be your best option. You wouldn’t owe them anything for your education, and you would be able to avoid any future sense of responsibility toward them if they continue to be feckless about money.
FWIW, our older girl chose a full-ride+ at a state flagship that’s top-10 in her major over CMU. She was awarded an NSF GRFP Fellowship and is going to do her PhD work at at an Ivy that’s Top 5 in her intended field of study — also fully-funded.
Sharing to illustrate that full-rides at state flagships can lead to bigger and better things (and less debt for student and parents!). That said, CMU’s CS is extremely well-regarded, so I can see the appeal.
Unless your parents are sitting on a huge nest egg or have their own business where some of their income is sheltered , I do not see how they are going to pay $50k for your college and private tuition for your brother.
These things are family decisions but sometimes parents get carried away with prestige college names and bite off more than they can chew. College loans are bad for both kids who are just starting out in their jobs as well for parents winding down into retirement from theirs.
I would hope if your parents saved $200k on your college that some of it is socked away for emergencies that do happen, their retirement and to maybe help you get started out of college, your brother’s expenses.
There is nothing wrong with turning down a full ride for an expensive college …if the payments are truly affordable and do not cause financial problems in the future.
I have multiple college funds. One of them has around 65k and the other has a lot more. I know that the 200k might even be already in them.
Thank you VERY much for all the viewpoints and anecdotes. They are giving me so much to consider.
I love the smallness of CMUs computer science major. I dislike how almost everyone is majoring in computer science at UMD. I enjoy being the worst person in a class and being surrounded by quirky passionate people.