Have I made the worst decision of my life?

College Search & Selection
1

<p>Hello, everyone. I recently graduated from a high school in Maryland and decided to enroll in University of Maryland at College Park's honors program. During the selection process, I applied to the following schools:</p>

<p>U of MD at CP - Accepted
Virginia Tech - Accepted
American U - Accepted
U of VA - Accepted
Carnegie Mellon U - Accepted
Cornell U - Waitlisted
Amherst College - Waitlisted
MIT - Denied</p>

<p>During the application process, I felt very strongly about attending a top-tier school. I regarded College Park, Virginia Tech, and American as my "safety" schools, UVA and Carnegie Mellon as "good match" schools, and Cornell, Amherst, and MIT as "reach" schools. Surprisingly, my predictions were extremely accurate.</p>

<p>At my public high school, I felt mildly trapped by my surroundings and peers. I felt as if I was hardly being challenged, even when I took AP classes. Of course, there were a few teachers that inspired and tried to challenge me, but they were easily the minority. I promised myself that I would go to an excellent school with great peers to challenge and academically empower me.</p>

<p>Last October, I visited Carnegie Mellon and fell in love with it. I had previously desired to go to MIT, but after visiting Carnegie, I knew it was the college for me (which is a good thing to, seeing as MIT rejected me). The acceptance letter came and I was ecstatic! It seemed that all my hard work in high school had paid off.</p>

<p>My financial aid report, however, was not as uplifting. I barely missed the mark for qualifying for need-based aid although I was offered a merit scholarship to Carnegie for about 6k a year. At a school that estimates 52k a year, this was barely helpful. My parents and I worked through the finances, and in order to attend Carnegie I would have to take out roughly 20k a year in loans, not including a few smaller loans my parents may have had to take out further down the road.</p>

<p>I didn't like UVA (I thought everyone there was rather snooty, although it's an amazing school) and I passed on American and VTech. I received a little more than half a ride to College Park, and my parents could easily afford the other half w/o anyone having to take out loans. My parents were willing to spend 20k a year on my education to go to Carnegie, and they said that if I went to College Park, I could put any extra money not used by my decision to make a dent in the cost of grad school (something that is extremely important to me and I always desired to do).</p>

<p>I visited College Park, and deemed it livable. I wouldn't be nearly as happy there as I would at Carnegie Mellon, but it would be significantly cheaper and I would graduate with no debt. That final month of deciding was pure hell. I wrestled with the fact of going to Carnegie and possibly getting a fellowship to pay for grad school (where it is much more likely to attain such funds) vs going to Maryland and having to pay for grad school. I also considered the types of people at each school and could tell right away I would benefit from the peer atmosphere at Carnegie. But was it worth so much extra money?</p>

<p>My parents were biased in the decision. They wanted me to go to College Park. They said that with the turn in the economy my financial safety was by no means guaranteed and that the safest choice was to go to College Park. In the end, I decided to go to College Park.</p>

<p>Now, however, about a month and a half after making that decision, I feel as if I have made a horrible mistake. The more I hear about Carnegie the more I love it. The more I read online about the benefits of a top-tier education, the more upset I am about my decision. The prestige of the school I attend is important to me, and I feel that I would benefit from the confidence boost and peer interactions provided by a school such as Carnegie.</p>

<p>Not a day goes by that I haven't had second thoughts about my decision. I feel as if I have made a grave mistake. Several of my friends that shared my high school feeling of being trapped are going to great schools like Johns Hopkins (mainly off of an excellent financial need award) w/o me and I feel like I'm going to repeat the four years of high school where I was not challenged or stimulated all over again in college. I'm one of those students that loves learning for the sake of learning. I've had two breakdowns already about my decision and I don't know how to proceed.</p>

<p>Should I just stay at College Park? Should I try and transfer after my first semester/year (even though I would feel out of place at a new college not having been there since the beginning)? And even then transferring looks more at your college record rather than high school record, so have I drastically hurt my chances of ever going to a top-tier school as an undergrad? Should I just stick it out at College Park, even though I really would hate to go through another four years unchallenged? Or am I just freaking out over nothing, because College Park's honors program is just as good and contains just as much peer stimulation as a school like Carnegie?</p>

<p>Any advice as to what I should do would be greatly appreciated . . . but thanks for just reading my rant if you've gotten this far.</p>

2

<p>i don't think you've made the worst decision.</p>

<p>however, more you frequent CC, more you will feel like it.</p>

3

<p>A few more things to add . . .</p>

<p>Ever since I made my decision, I've found myself increasingly bitter toward people who are able to go to those top-tier schools. I'm so jealous of them and I've never been a jealous person before . . .</p>

<p>When school was still in session, I competed at a local Math Competition with several schools in nearby counties. In the Calculus II division, I got second place. All of the seniors were asked to state which college they were going to this fall and the girl that got first in my division said MIT. I immediately got sick to my stomach because I was so jealous of the fact that she was able to go to an amazing school like that and I wasn't. I was so bitter that I wouldn't even shake her hand afterward (the competition had nothing to do with it).</p>

<p>As I said before, one of my best friends is going to Johns Hopkins. Every time he talks about the school I cannot help but think that I should be going to a great school like that with him.</p>

<p>On the other hand though, Maryland is a lot more affordable, so maybe I should just stay there? I simply have no idea what to do.</p>

4

<p>"i don't think you've made the worst decision.</p>

<p>however, more you frequent CC, more you will feel like it."</p>

<p>What do you mean?</p>

5

<p>dksmarte// i think choosing U of MD could be a reasonable decision for some ppl and depending on circumstances. it has its merits. and CMU is very expensive. is it worth it? to some ppl, yes. to others, probably no. </p>

<p>however, in CC i realized nothing is more important than prestige.</p>

<p>i mean, if prestige is really that important to you, transfer to different college.</p>

<p>i realize having a bachelor's degree in a prestigious institution is like once in a life time chance and i guess that's what justifies the cost of expensive private universities for most ppl.</p>

<p>i mean, if you aren't going for i-banking or mgmt consulting, you will realize that after graduation, you will be working with ppl who went to colleges much less prestigious than yours.</p>

6

<p>Why don't you not worry about it and give Maryland a chance? If you don't like it then transfer, but go with an open mind.</p>

<p>Also, almost everyone I know has some buyer's remorse about the school they chose whether they were choocing between Harvard an Yale or 2 community colleges.</p>

<p>The scary part is the extreme jealousy. Why don't you talk to someone professional?</p>

7

<p>University of Maryland CP is a great college.</p>

8

<p>I can name at least 3 College Park rising sophs who felt exactly like you do last summer. Money was the only reason they did not attend the first choice colleges and stayed in state. 2 of them are very happy, one is not thrilled but not for academic reasons and has thought about transferring after soph year. 2 of them are in the honors program and 1 in scholars.</p>

<p>Why not give CP a try? You may find you really like it. Good Luck to you.</p>

9

<p>The feelings you're going through right now are pretty normal; even the jealousy. A lot of good students are in your same position.</p>

<p>Let me tell you two things:</p>

<p>First of all, UMCP is a pretty good school. After you graduate, as long as you work hard, you should be able to obtain the same success that graduates from CMU enjoy. Remember - your undergrad GPA and internships matter a lot more than the name of the school.</p>

<p>Secondly, it sounds like you'd be in a ton of debt after CMU. Imagine how much that'll suck during those 4 years - dwelling over the heaps of debt, and how bad it'll feel when you're out of CMU, on your butt, and now you have to start repaying.</p>

10

<p>Well, that depends on what the other decisions you have made in your life are.</p>

<p>If you decided to bet 10 million dollars that the Lakers would win the NBA championship, then this would definetely not be the worst decision of your life.</p>

<p>Please list the other decisions you have made in your life to help us evaluate whether or not this truly is the worst decision you have ever made in your life.</p>

11

<p>thats a huge difference in cost, 3 points:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Carnegie Mellon is not that great of a school. Maryland-College Park is not that bad of a school. it's not like you are turning down MIT or Harvard here. There are plenty of people at Maryland who turned down schools of similar caliber, maybe even MIT. People do this every year at every school. </p></li>
<li><p>You will not be an average student at Maryland, you are an honors student, that means you get more faculty attention, more special treatment, and most likely you will stand out, if you go in feeling like this all the time, you won't do well, you need to deal with it and move on. If you do well at Maryland, you will get into any grad school you want. </p></li>
<li><p>In general, high school seniors seem to feel getting into a prestigious college as a golden ticket, or some sort of reward, when in reality the journey has only begun and you have done nothing. No part of your life will be significantly affected just because you chose one school over another, it might take a different course, but how well you do in life will not be determined by the college you went to. Come graduation time, you'll be glad that you don't have a 80k worth of debt, money seems not important at this stage in your life maybe, but once you work a few years, you'll realize that debt is real.</p></li>
</ol>

12

<p>I went to CMU and wound up graduating with around $18k in debt. While I absolutely loved my time there, and would recommend the school to anyone, I don't think it's worth going in to debt $80,000. I mean, unless you're a top CS or business student landing a fantastic job, you're not even going to be making that much money a year.</p>

<p>Also, don't forget, if you want to go to grad school you can still get in anywhere you want. There's also summer programs at practically every school, where you can do a summer research project with a professor at the school (which can easily work you into their graduate programs).</p>

<p>Also, there's nothing wrong with UMD. They're a great school and you should have plenty of opportunities to be challenged and meet interesting people. The absolute worst thing you can do is go in with the attitude that you're better than everyone else there and you deserve better.</p>

<p>Also, keefer, depending on what field dksmarte is in, turning down CMU could very well be like turning down MIT.</p>

13

<p>i should have known better, lol. sorry... CMU=MIT.</p>

14

<p>Lol @ CMU=MIT. Thats a little like saying that since Harvard is in the same city as MIT, that MIT is the NYU of Cambridge. Get it? A school over shadowed by another school in the same city? Your statement is not less absurd.</p>

15

<p>if we are talking about CS program, i guess he's somewhat right in terms of job perspective... </p>

<p>however, when someone talks about "turning down MIT", i think it means more in the line of "turning down the prestige as acknowledged by lay people"... that "woooow" factor when someone hears the name of your school</p>

16

<p>
[quote]
i should have known better, lol. sorry... CMU=MIT.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>It's just that I frequent the CMU board on here, and there were a couple of people that had to turn down CMU/MIT/other high ranked school because they weren't going to be able to afford it and needed to go to their state school instead. So I guess I'm just a little acclimated to these types of decisions being people doing CS/ECE.</p>

17

<p>I don't think this individual is second guessing his/her (I'm gonna guess him) decision because of prestige or because he thinks UMD is a "bad" school. There are a lot of reasons to go to great schools other than prestige - resources, intellectual culture (which is increasingly hard to find as college becomes the new high school), challenging programs, a sense that it's the right school for you ("fit").</p>

<p>It seems this individual falls into the latter category - CMU feels like the right fit. I've always had the theory that you do whatever you have to to go to the school you want and deal with the finances later. That said, $80,000 in loans is a whole heck of a lot. Then again, when people buy houses their mortgages run into the hundreds of thousands. </p>

<p>I guess, to answer your question, maybe you should at least apply again and see if you get in again. It's harder to transfer into a school, so you might find you do not get in and that option is closed to you. </p>

<p>Maybe you did make the wrong decision for yourself. If you can't transfer, you have the option to spend your college years mourning that decision and create an experience at UMD that reinforces your belief that you made the wrong decision, or you immerse yourself in what UMD has to offer and perhaps walk away realizing you made the best decision after all, realizing you couldn't imagine having had a better experience.</p>

18

<p>I think you need to give U Maryland a try at this point. It has a good reputation as a CS school, and the honors program looks very good.</p>

<p>In a large school like this, you need to make an effort to look for the interesting experiences so that it doesn't just feel like high school scaled up. Attend presentations on topics that interest you, and then talk to the people at them aftwards. Join activities and groups that interest you. Get to know grad students and professors.</p>

<p>The honors housing will help with have people who are a bit more intellectual to hang out with. If I recall, it also gets you access to some better classes, too. (Sorry I may be mixing schools there). </p>

<p>It is astonishing how long it will take to pay back $80K. If 3 years after college you are making $60K, how much are you going to be applying to that 80K in loans? </p>

<p>So, I'd give it a try. If it really doesn't work, you can look at transfer options. But try to "get into it" and see if you can create a good spot for yourself.</p>

19

<p>I live in MD too. Out of my friends I have many who got into places like Cornell, CMU, Northwestern, UChciago, WashU, Michigan, UVA, Georgetown, and other top schools and are all at Maryland. They are all doing fine at Maryland. Maryland will still put you in a position to do well after college. If you do CS and Maryland you will be able to leave with a good job and no debt. You will be fine. It's a little dissapointing right now, but you'll learn to like Maryland by the end of your first semester.</p>

20

<p>After spending several years around high school seniors who have decided to make financial concerns a part of their college decision--the worst time always seems to be April to June when their peers are announcing what prestigious universities they are going to or the guidance department announces in the local newspaper where their students are heading--and everyone oohs and aahs--and then . . . it all stops . . . and people go their seperate ways and all is forgotten--and reality steps in--and the tuition bills are due--and nobody really cares where you are going--and the bills continue to come in--and next Holiday season when you see all of your friends and maybe things at their schools are not as great as they thought it would be and maybe you are settled and enjoying yourself and knowing that you are not going into tremendous debt, things will look different. For many students, worrying for four years as to whether the cost and debt are worth the name is worse than a few months of feeling bad about "settling for less" in comparison to their peers. The key is to make the very most of where you are at--take advantage of everything and strive to do your best--don't allow yourself to be bitter or sad--and doors will open for you, and opportunities will be at your door. Good luck!</p>