I have been procrastinating on getting a POA for my parents. Example, they no longer need their second cell phone so I tried to cancel that service. Best I could do was suspend it for 30 days online (basically because I know all the passwords etc) It cannot be cancelled except by the owner (my dad) and I guess I am too honest to put my H on the phone and pretend to be dad.
Dad has a mild brain injury and may get confused trying to do this on his own, plus he will protest that he needs a phone (forgetting it costs $30+/month). The other way to do it is to bring him in to a physical Verizon store and try to do this. I live an hour away and that sounds like a whole day process as he uses a walker etc.
Or I need a notarized letter from him allowing me to do this on his behalf. Again, the same difficulties with him and getting to a notary etc.
I understand why they need this, but it is only a freaking phone account, I am not trying to access his checking money! Every day that goes by I am more tempted to just have someone impersonate dad on the phone.
Anyway, I would like to go to an elder lawyer here near where I live. Is there any reason to do this thru a lawyer near where my parents live, about an hour away?
Also, assuming I had a POA, how would it work in this cell phone situation? Do they need an original of a POA? Do I fax them a copy? How do they know that I am the person named in the POA?
Thanks from all who have been down this road before!
I have obtained a POA for my elderly parents and I know what you are going thru.
The issue of originals or copies comes down to the people you are dealing with. I would definitely obtain original copies for all entities that hold your parents money. Banks, life ins, brokerages, etc.
I am of the opinion that he who controls the funds controls the transaction. i would call the companies you wish to deal with and explain the situation to them. If they refuse to accept a copy then simply inform them that the funds to them have been cut off and to have a nice day. A follow up letter will also be in order if you wish. Not many companies will continue to offer services if the bill has not been paid. They will simply cut service. If they persist about you owing money then you simply address each situation on its own. Remember, no company can compel you to continue to purchase their services if you do not want to.
Do not worry about your parents credit report if that bothers you. They are most likely not going to be looking to access the credit markets anymore. At this point you want to consolidate the funds and prepare for the inevitable end.
for the phone, you can CALL, work through their verification process (answer age, etc) and have him just say add my daughter, surfcity, as an account manager and here she is. Then as account manager you “should” be able to cancel the extra cell contract.
If you can do it on-line, I would do it on-line.
AS to the POA, they are semi-worthless. Each bank will typically want their OWN form, no matter who writes or re-writes the POA. For utilities, POA seems to work fine. For my Mom, she could not speak very well, OBVIOUSLY couldn’t understand much of anything, but BofA would NOT take my POA for her line of credit, even though I was already on her checking account as joint. So I dragged her to the bank and talked to the manager with Mom not really there, then got Mom involved and she wrote “I authorize, my daughter, esobay, for any needs on my line of credit account” and signed it. Because it was done in front of the banker, he put it through and that is how I got on the POA there. I shudder to think that her creepy ex-handyman could have done the same thing. He almost did. And then I got the guardianship which has more power than POA, but comes with its own set of headaches (reporting $$ every year, etc).
For the lawyer, I might go with one near YOU if you can get your parents there. POA is better than NO POA, but don’t expect them to be a cure-all.
Generally I Faxed the POA and then they “determined” they would talk to me a week later or so for the utilities , but for the phone, calling worked.
With regard to cancelling cell phones…you can’t just tell them you are stopping paying them. Well, you can…but they can send the account to collections…and your parents will be charged fees in addition to,the costs you owe.
And when they die, these will need to be paid pit of their estates.
The cell phone companies are particularly army difficult. When my dad died, he had a year left on his contract. It was going to cost us double to cancel the contract than to pay for the year. And yes…we sent them death certificates and the like.
To the OP. You will need to have your parents consent to,the POA…so at the end of the day…they will need to sign. Maybe better to do,this near where they live…so this can be easier for them.
You can get a copy of an POA online. All you have to do is to fill them out and have your parents notarize them. There’s no need to go through an attorney unless there are other parties (siblings, close relatives) who may object to the POA assigned to you and it may be wise to have a witness to oversee the process.
My dad was in hospital. I’d call his mutual fund and talk. They’d ask to speak to him, and basically ask if ok for me to move his funds. He’d say YES, and it was done. In terms of the bank, I went to his branch, where we both knew the manager who helped him out over the years.i explained that I wanted a new account, with his name and mine, and same with security box. She complied with everything, as it was clear how the stroke had diminished his capacity.
In NY, the girl working at the Fedex counter notarized my documents. I guess she was also my witness. However, if anyone challenged the POA in the future, there’s no way I could find her again.
First thing I did when my father moved in with me a few months ago was to have him sign all the documents - Statutory Durable Power of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney (may be overkill, but who knows?), HIPAA notice, and directives. All forms were available online from the state Department of Aging and Disability Services website. Many states (mine included) have gone to a Uniform Power of Attorney form, which is great, since my father previously lived in another state. One of my closest friends is a notary and she made a “housecall”,
My advice is to get one now before your parent become too incapacitated. Once that happens, you may need to go through the court system to get legal guardianship.
Is there anything in the US like what we had for my Mum in the UK? We basically had a POA set up (signed and agreed to by her) while she was still healthy. It was on record but did not go into effect until the time she became incapacitated a few years later (sadly, sooner than we hoped - the downhill mentally for the elderly can be extraordinarily rapid once something triggers it - a broken hip in her case). once it was necessary, it was easy to activate which was a godsend as my brother was immediately thrown into being responsible for finances, selling house to pay for care home etc.
@swimcatsmom, generally speaking, a “durable” power of attorney goes into effect immediately when it is signed and a “springing” power of attorney becomes effective at some later time (described in the document), for example, when the principal becomes incapacitated. The advantage, in my opinion, of the durable power of attorney is that the principal can choose when to allow the agent to act on his or her behalf. The principal can continue to act for himself or herself whenever he or she wants to and can let the agent act at other times.
No, you don’t. The notary IS the witness. By signing and notarizing the document, the notary is saying “I saw Jane Doe sign this document. This is her signature.”
There are a few states that require a notary and witnesses, but usually only for real estate transactions (GA has some unique signature blocks for real estate transfers).
The OP might still,have trouble with the stupid cell phone companies. Like I said…we had my dad’s death certificate…and ATT would NOT cancel his contract without penalty. It was cheaper to pay the bill for the remaining about 11 months.
I am an only child, so that makes things easier (well, it makes some things harder!). And mom and dad are totally on board with me doing everything, they trust me 100%. They already added me on to their checking account as a third signer. Their financial planner is my college friend who is also my planner and we all meet together. He does everything thru me with their knowledge. An unusual situation and it works for now, but I do need to be prepared in case one or both become incapacitated.
As @thumper1 said, I can’t just not pay the cell bill. Well, i can ignore it but then they will go to collections and affect credit reports and so forth. I want to avoid that.
This happened when I sold their house and had to disconnect the cable. Comcast insisted Dad had to appear at their office 40 min away! When I said he was too frail they said I had to get a legal statement from a lawyer saying he was incompetent! I went up the chain and complained and finally got that resolved. It helped that my DH is acquainted with one of the tippy top execs; sadly that is what is needed in some cases.
I am going to look for the forms online. It is also not too much trouble to get a notary if needed. They live in a senior community and I think there is probably one on staff but I can also take them to the bank or insurance office nearby too.
I have durable POA and Medical proxy for my mom but she still had to authorize some things on top of that for me to deal with some companies/entities. For instance, I couldn’t even schedule cable company for a service call when she was in the hospital and I was staying at her house. She had to call and put me on as authorized user. I also needed to be added as joint to her checking account. And even though her investment accounts are in a trust set up by same elder attorney we used for the POA and medical proxy, I still needed to fill out several forms and have them notarized so I can make investment decisions if she became incapable of doing that. We also had to put me on as authorized user on all her credit cards.
The trust, POA and MP was all taken care of when both my parents were healthy and 100% able to take care of everything. I am so glad for everything they did as my inlaws did nothing at all and the last year has been a nightmare trying to get everything taken care of since FIL is 90 and very frail and MIL has significant memory loss which is getting worse by the day.
I am sorry for all of you going through this. My Mom died in early 2016. My sibs and I had taken care of her "affairs " for over 10 years due to dementia. 25 years ago, when my parents got divorced, my Mom did everything right. POA, Health Care Proxy, Living Will, etc. She got great advice from a female financial advisor and things were all in order. Then one of my siblings died and even when she was grieving, she went back and changed everything to make it easier on her surviving children. Thanks Mom.
Then she got sick. Few honored the POA. BoA was esp. bad. Their legal would not accept the POA. So I had to drag my Mom up to to BoA. They saw me getting her inside and quickly added me to her account. But even though my sister was also on the POA, they would never allow me to add her. I had to set up a second account, add my sister and then we could both take care of things as a team.
Get on as many of the accounts as your parents will allow. Closing out the internet account required a trip to Comcast with a copy of the death certificate even though the contract had expired. But I was on her cell phone account so that only took a quick phone call.
Most ridiculous was the medical stuff. I would just say “Yes, she is here” and say “hello” in a a different voice so we we could get stuff done.
There is good reason to watch their credit reports, even if they won’t be borrowing money again. You want to make sure someone else isn’t borrowing money in their name.
On the POA question, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked if I had it (I don’t) and how much effort it would have saved me. I recommend getting one, even knowing it won’t cover all situations. It will cover many.
I do have Mom’s health POA (Advance Directive), and it’s on file with the regional medical group that all of her docs are in. That has saved me a lot of grief in terms of being able to talk to doctors, nurses, even schedulers.
Both H and I have given our kids POAs with reasonably broad powers in case we are disabled. It is very easy in NY. Just download the forms online for free, check all the applicable boxes and have it notarized at a Fedex for $2.50.
In CA, it is $10 per signature and most banks won’t offer notary service unless the documents are banks related. They used to offer it for free for certain clients.
Fortunately my husband’s office has a couple of notaries.
In Wisconsin, POAs don’t need to be notarized but do need witnesses. I downloaded the forms from the state’s health and social services website. The forms as written comply with state law and although they don’t cover all possible situations, they’ll work for most people.