Thanks for the additional information. I am not a health professional, but from your description you may want to have him evaluated for ADHD.
I don’t know which of the schools on your list are direct-admit into the engineering major (apart from your likely schools which probably don’t have any bars to a major). If based purely on admission to the university, I’d move Alabama-Huntsville into the likely category as well. But if schools have a particular bar to get into an engineering major (either initially or to get to choose the particular engineering major within the school of engineering). For instance, at Purdue, all engineering students are put in First Year Engineering (FYE) and then they apply for their particular engineering major. From what I understand, it can be very competitive to get an aerospace major (and it’s already quite competitive just to get into the engineering school).
In looking at your list of colleges, it looks as though you’ve taken a good look at schools that are ABET-accredited for aerospace engineering. One option to consider is also looking at schools that are accredited for mechanical engineering, as that also works for people who are in aerospace, but also can lead to more flexibility in case the job market requires a pivot (particularly since aerospace definitely seems to have its own boom/bust cycles).
One school you may want to look into is Marshall (WV). It’s accredited in several different engineering fields, including mechanical engineering and its lab facilities appear able to support many aerospace interests. It’s a slightly more intimate public school (about 8k undergrads) than the others on your list. Even more important than the intimacy is that its support programs regularly get national attention. The one that might be of most interest to your family is this one.
Though you have Arizona State on your list, I’d consider substituting (or adding) U. of Arizona. It is ABET-accredited for aerospace engineering as well as ME, but it’s also know for its SALT center which provides a lot of learning supports.
This thread may also be of interest: Colleges with LD centers for Neurodiverse, 2E, ADHD, with ASD-level support in the Northeast?