OP Made Up Scenario -closed “How Do I Get Over My College Decisions?

Applying to College
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Honestly, I don’t know how to start this post. I’ve always been a good student (4.0UW/4.78W/1580SAT), with several APs and national-level ECs. I also go to a highly competitive magnet school, which regularly sends people to T10s and HYPSM.

In HS, I always had the expectation to well, the drive to well, and the ambition to outclass everybody. IK it’s a toxic trait, but it’s me.

Naturally, when it came to colleges, I really shot as high as I could go. I applied to almost every T10, T20, and top LAC I could. However, at the end of this session, for what I believe due to be the excessive competitively, I simply ended disappointed in my results.

I have gotten into a somewhat decent school, JHU as well as UCLA. However, neither of these schools are the schools I see myself to be part of: I’ve just not really been all to excited about them tbh.

I applied on a whim, and now that I think about it, I really have no idea. My classmates have gotten into schools I really like, such as Brown, Duke, Berkeley, Chicago, Stanford, Yale, Penn, and Cornell and honestly I feel unhappy whenever I think about this.

Yes, I’m aware JHU is a T10 (and UCLA is a T20) (on the US News Rankings), but after researching cross admit rates and looking at reviews, JHU feels more like an Ivy Plus reject school. Honestly, it doesn’t really fit in as a T10…it’s like the only T10 which doesn’t even have a fan base here. Most, if not all, of the students who go here only are here because they got rejected from the Ivy Pluses. Baltimore depresses me and the campus depresses me even more. I just feel that I deserved better for all the hard work I put through HS.

As arrogant as I may sound, going to JHU feels like the Silver Medalist syndrome…you’re going to a great school, but it’s honestly just not at the top such as the Ivy Plus group (the Gold Medalists), which include the Ivy League, Chicago, MIT, Stanford, and Duke. It just feels so close, yet so far…

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It sounds like you had a very top heavy list. If you are really not happy about attending Hopkins, take a gap year and apply to different schools for fall 2023.

Don’t waste your time playing again to colleges where you have already been denied admission.

I think you need to love the schools that loved you.

Are Hopkins and UCLA your only acceptances?

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How do you know this about JHU students? We know a fairly decent number of students for which Hopkins was their top choice…and yes, they had the stats to apply to the other schools you have on your list above.

I think you are way underestimating the quality and happiness of the students who have chosen to attend JHU.

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What is your intended major / career?

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If you feel that JHU and UCLA are inferior in some way, then take a gap year and reapply to schools. Make sure your list is not as top heavy as your original list.

JHU is an amazing school. If you take a gap year and craft a new list, be careful how you come across.

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You sound perfect for Duke. Take a gap year and reapply if that’s what you want to do.

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So you applied to all those schools you like (Brown, Duke, Berkeley, etc) and were denied?

There will always be someone “better” than you. Even if you went to a “gold medal school”, you would likely not be the top of every class. Many of the “top” business people in the world have “failed” before.

You got into the schools you got into. You admit that you have a competitive streak that is not mentally healthy.

You did well. Your school does not define you. You can be successful at a “silver medal school” or you can take a gap year and perhaps end up at a “bronze medal” or “participation trophy school.”

Rejection hurts. You are allowed to feel a bit sad. You are allowed to be jealous. But dont let negative emotions ruin your future. Go do great things!

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You’ve got a few choices here.

  1. Don’t go to college. Go work in retail. Try college again when you know what you want from life.
  2. Got to a local community college instead. Hella cheaper, and people won’t look at you oddly when you’re bitter about it later.
  3. Go to JHU or UCLA and be bitter about it for the rest of your life.
  4. Go to JHU or UCLA for a couple of years with an eye to transferring to another college that you believe is a better fit for you.
  5. Go to JHU or UCLA and discover ways in which they are a good fit for you, learn enough to have a fine career, and be ready to tell this story with a bit of kindness for your teenage self.

If you had applied to a lot of reaches and not gotten in to any of them, I think you’d have more to “get over” than you seem to have right now.

It’s a life skill to keep your eyes on your own paper and make the best of the situation you find yourself in. Rather than always looking at what someone else got and envying it.

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If you have already been rejected by Duke, you would need to do something pretty amazing to get accepted after a gap year.

If you take a gap year, you need to look for a completely different list of colleges, in my opinion, than ones where you have already been denied admission.

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Yes, toxic competitiveness is dominating your life now. But it doesn’t have to. You can learn to live your life motivated by true inner values rather than by the urge to “outclass” people you consider your competitors. But it takes a real desire to change, and it’s a learned skill. A happier and more authentic life is out there for you if you decide you want it. I really wish you the best !

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You really need to get some perspective on life. Winners make the most of the opportunities they have. Neither JHU nor UCLA will set you back in any way. If the students don’t measure up to you, then you should easily be able to hit it out of the park and go to grad school anywhere…

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I just have a question, do you think JHU is at the same level as these other schools I’ve mentioned above? Or do you think it’s a notch below all of them? I’m referring to this in the general, overall format, not departmental.

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But why even think about the past—it’s just a crutch. Focus on the future…

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Perhaps some colleges you applied to were able to pick up on this.

You got into the schools that wanted you. Harsh but true. Why would you pine for a school that didn’t want you? Time to move on.

As for this comment:
“JHU feels like the Silver Medalist syndrome…you’re going to a great school, but it’s honestly just not at the top such as the Ivy Plus group”
well… :woman_facepalming:

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Have you seen the research output of JHU—it’s one of the best universities on the planet…

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My question is why did you apply to schools you weren’t happy about attending? If it was Ivy or bust why include all the ones lesser in your eyes?

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It isn’t an Ivy or bust situation, I was also very infatuated with Plus schools like UChicago, Stanford, Duke, Northwestern, Berkeley, etc.

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Yeah, but you didn’t get in.

I was infatuated with Shaun Cassidy. He wasn’t interested. Sigh…

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Fine, but that doesn’t answer why you applied schools you had no interest in attending.

Infatuated is an interesting word choice.

My suggestion is that you go one of the schools and try to transfer to a school more to your liking. There are few that won’t be worth your time like HYPS but some of the others might yield fruit.

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If you applied to only these highly competitive colleges, then you have your answers from a bunch of them…and it’s NO.

But you have YES answers from two wonderful colleges. Since May 1st was the date to choose a college…which did you choose? Both are excellent colleges.

It’s your choice. You can either feel down in the dumps, or you can celebrate your acceptances.

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