Hi,
I’m a high school senior from Louisiana who was lucky enough to get in EA to MIT to study physics and also got a full ride to LSU. My parents have a good enough income where I didn’t get any money from MIT but aren’t super rich, they and initially agreed to pay for it when I applied but are now pushing me to take LSU full ride and I’m nervous they’ll back out of paying for MIT. Advice?
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Whoever pays gets to decide.
On the surface, it makes sense - going to MIT.
But if you got no aid, that’s a $325K+ endeavor that they could save for retirement, living expenses and more. They are telling you - they don’t want to struggle financially or have that strain.
And that’s fair. And guess what - you might think - I worked so hard and got into MIT and i’ll be set. But - your hard work paid off in saving them a boatload of money.
You’ll have access to the best LSU has to offer - advising, research, and more. Of course, it’s not on par with MIT but you can do great things - and then there’s grad school later.
Your hard work paid off - and is offering you a chance to help those you love - your parents - by avoiding an unbelievably high expense.
Be proud. Take advantage of what LSU can offer you.
And it’ll all work out. Great job by you - a full ride is a dream come true for so many.
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This is tough. I had a vaguely similar choice to make a few decades ago, and I still do not know whether I made the right choice (at the time I chose MIT). At the time MIT was way less expensive than it is now.
One thing is to verify that MIT would actually be a good fit for you. Another thing is to try to understand how painful the financial cost of MIT will be. MIT full pay is very expensive (as are many other private universities).
MIT is academically very challenging. If you are the top student in your high school, then you are likely to be an average student at MIT (or perhaps there are no average students at MIT – the other students will be just as strong however you say it). Classes will go fast. There will be tons of homework and the homework will be tough. If you attend MIT, then you should expect to be spending quite a few Saturdays and Sundays doing homework.
I still remember when I was in graduate school spending 6 hours on a Sunday doing one single problem on a homework assignment (out of 5 problems on that particular homework assignment, while taking 5 classes at a time). Sometime around about 5pm I successfully completed the problem, and went to dinner with my girlfriend. Let’s suppose that you similarly spend 6 hours on a Saturday doing a really tough problem. Let’s suppose that you found this to be a very common way to spend your Saturdays and Sundays. At the end of each day, how would you feel about this? Would you be excited that you had succeeded in solving the problem? Would you feel like you just wasted your Saturday afternoon? The answer might help to suggest whether MIT is a good fit for you.
I also remember a homework assignment at MIT that was an unsolved research problem in probability theory. There was no one in the entire world who knew how to solve it, but it was a homework assignment for MIT undergraduate students in an introductory class. I did not succeed in solving this problem.
The desire to spend a Saturday afternoon to solve a problem that 3/4 of MIT students and maybe 98% of university students will never be able to solve needs to come from inside yourself. Some people want to do this. Some people do not. Some people part of the time want to do it, and part of the time do not.
When I was an undergraduate I was in the “sometimes I want to do it and sometimes I do not” group. When I was a graduate student I wanted to do it, and felt excited and happy when I was able to solve the problem.
Then there is the cost. You are looking at well over $300,000. It might be $350,000 by the time that you graduate. I do not think that people on this web site can tell you how tough this will be for your parents. Do you know if your parents or you would need to take on debt to pay for this?
One option is to get your bachelor’s degree at LSU, and then look for a famous highly ranked university for a master’s degree. If you do this, then all the work that you put in and your great results from high school will still be very valuable. It is this great work that has made LSU affordable for you. This work will also make you very well prepared to do very well at LSU. Getting great grades at LSU can help to lead to internships and research opportunities, which in turn can be helpful when you either look for a job after graduation or look to attend a graduate program.
One daughter by the way chose the more affordable option. It was not a famous school at all. She went to a university where she would be in the top 20% of her class and probably more like top 10%. Then she worked very hard and got great grades. She was near the top of her class and got to know her professors. This led to very good research options. She got paid to continue her research over the summer between her junior and senior years. Then she graduated, and ended up with a very good job that at least to me sounds like she is doing something very similar to what she was doing on her research project. There are great opportunities at a wide range of universities.
The hard work and success that you already had in high school will help you be prepared to take advantage of these opportunities regardless of which university you attend.
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What we don’t know is - if this is a choice? It may not be a choice but a decision already made by the parents…
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Thanks for the comment! I don’t have any interest in grad school so I’m not worried about extra costs, MIT sounds like a great fit(I love spending hours on tough problems), my parents can afford it but aren’t super rich thus drawing them to full ride. I have an older sister at brown whom they pay full ride for and were willing to for me until the full ride came.
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This sounds like a super tough situation, particularly since they’ve been doing full pay for your sister at Brown.
A couple of thoughts:
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Starting this upcoming year (I believe), FAFSA will no longer reduce expected financial contributions for families who have more than once child in college at a time. It’s unknown what CSS schools will do (and may well vary by each college). Perhaps your parents thought that if they had two kids at expensive schools at the same time that some financial aid would come through, and that hasn’t happened.
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Your parents’ investment accounts may have taken a hit with some changes in the market, or perhaps they’re increasingly concerned with inflation. Drops in investment balances (or increases in inflation) can be very concerning for people who are approaching retirement age.
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It doesn’t seem fair. What they do for one child seems as though it should be done for all children. But things can change (perhaps there are some increased health concerns, or there’s less job stability, or…). But is there a compromise option? Perhaps your parents will pay for you while you take an unpaid internship doing something really cool. Or they will pay for you to have various study abroad experiences (and give you an extra amount as a travel fund bonus). Or they will give you a sum of money that you can use as a business start-up fund or house down payment, etc. Or they’ll buy you a car when you graduate. So there might be a compromise here where your parents aren’t on the hook (and feeling the stress) of needing to pay out $325k and maybe only need to pay out $150k, which will still leave you with a college degree from a state flagship institution plus $150k of perks that you wouldn’t have received otherwise.
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I agree, however there isn’t anything material I would want that would outweigh MIT. It’s mostly frustrating since I feel punished for getting a full ride since I’m going to LSU instead of MIT physics and my sisters goes to Brown and we both graduate with no debt.
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First of all congratulations! What a wonderful accomplishment, you should be super proud of yourself.
Now a question… If your parents instead offered to give you $325K cash, would you spend it on MIT or go to LSU and use the money for a house, retirement, etc? If they gave you that money and you stuck it in mutual funds, it would be worth almost $4million when you’re 50.
There isn’t a right answer. I happen to think MIT is one of the few schools worth full price for certain students - those who like a very challenging environment and who won’t have to take out more than the standard federal loans for (approx $6-7K per year). But you should investigate your alternatives.
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I would definitely use that money for MIT, but one of my biggest concerns is the culture difference. I love spending my free time doing hard math problems and am not a fan of parties(never was invited in high school). I know not all LSU students party but its definitely more ingrained than math unlike MIT
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Are these two schools your only choices?
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Have you actually gone to MIT, met with students, sat in on a class?
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I’m sorry, it sounds like you are in a frustrating situation. Have you talked to your parents about this?
For my kids, I basically gave them a set amount I was willing to pay for each kid and then let them make the decision based on that (with my input on weighing cost/benefit). If they got a full ride they could have the money for other endeavors to set up their life (grad school, down payments on a house, seed money for a startup). Could you maybe make a business proposal to your parents along those lines?
Basically, I’d start off with having a conversation with your parents about how you are feeling about all this… non-accusatory, using I statements, etc. And listen to what they have to say. Are there financial stresses you don’t know about? How do they think about paying for one child and not the other? I suspect they might think about it as giving what each child needs to get off to a good start, and not giving each child the exact same amount of money… but it’s something to talk about with them.
LSU is definitely not MIT, but it does have a good physics department with research opportunities. I’m also from Louisiana and went to LSMSA a million years ago, and we had a couple of kids choose to go to LSU over MIT, Yale, Stanford because they got a full ride. They are all of them doing really really well.
I’ve posted this before, but there have been a number of studies that show that it’s more important to be the kind of kid who can get into MIT than actually going to MIT. And congratulations, you’re the kind of kid who got into MIT. That means if you keep the same mindset that got you here, you are going to kick butt and be super successful wherever you end up.
It is a hard situation you seem to be in though, so do take the time to talk to your parents in a non-judgemental/accusatory way, and listen to what they have to say and see if y’all can come up with a joint agreement on what is best and fair.
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I have visited meeting numerous students and was fortunate enough to see a physics and a math class which I absolutely loved!
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For me that’s a big deal: MIT is a ‘fit’ school, and if it fits you it can be magic. And MIT is a particularly unique school: there really isn’t anything comparable.
Your parents must be so proud of their daughters! what achievements.
You are in such a tough place: it’s your parents money, and they get to decide how to spend it. On the other hand, they made a promise when you applied that they would spend it on MIT if you got in- and reneging (in the absence of any change in circumstances, such as job loss) is a tough thing to do your child.
I understand the allure of FREE! I even understand the attraction of keeping my baby near home… I assume they figure that if you can get into MIT for undergrad you can be the superstar at LSU and you can get anywhere you want to go- and they are right.
But.
- they made a promise
and
- the experience and contacts you will make at MIT are meaningfully different than your experience would be at LSU
so
- why would you hurt your child by breaking a promise and pulling the rug out from underneath her when it isn’t necessary**
*ie, lost a job
**most parents have had to let a child down at some point no matter how badly they didn’t want to
Is your chose career path likely to necessitate or benefit from a graduate degree?
Most employers only care about the “most recent degree”. If the answer to the graduate degree is “yes” - I’d steer towards LSU, do as good as you can (if you got into MIT I suspect that’s very good indeed!) and then ask your parents to fund your graduate degree - which you should be able to get in just about anywhere.
Where you go will last four years - and you will have successes from LSU and those less successful. The same can be said about MIT, Harvard, wherever.
Your parents brought you into this world. They’ve supported you and nourished you to become the superstar that you now are.
When you’re talking to them - make sure as @DadBodThor noted, you listen. You don’t know what’s going through their mind - job wise, asset wise (markets have tanked this week and many who thought they could afford may be having second thoughts). Maybe they see - if both parents are working, they’ll have to work longer? Maybe this will hit retirement…who knows.
I get it - your sister is giong to Brown full pay. It’s not always fair.
But they will love you and support you your entire life. That is a guarantee.
College is four years with zero guarantee.
So they’ve helped bring you to a place where you are - and know they want to bring you to a similarly high level in the future. They are making a decision that you may not love, but certainly out of love.
PS - I’m sure you’ll find a math club and competitions to bring you the excitement that you need while out of class.
Good luck.
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I am not interested in grad school which makes this even more frustrating!
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No one lost a job they only starting backing out of MIT when I got the offer to LSU. So they would have agreed to MIT if I didn’t get full ride at LSU meaning my sister gets to go to her dream school with no consequences(debt) while I get punished for extra success.
OP, seems like a huge chasm between MIT and LSU. Out of curiosity, how did it come down to just these two schools? Did you get in anywhere else offering merit money that would be more affordable than MIT but a better fit and/or better academically than LSU?
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Seems like your parents may have overspent on college for your older sister, making it difficult to afford an equivalent amount for you. That can result in difficult family relationships in the future. (More of a warning to parents with multiple college-bound kids than anything you or they can do about now.)
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