@sneit (sorry, can’t reply directly to your post at the end of Part 1 anymore):
I’m so sorry. The next few weeks and maybe even months are gonna be really hard. No sugar coating it. My very high stats D21 ended up a ‘safety’ school where she really didn’t want to be, which I detailed in length here: Loving Your Safety School
It’s a great thread for you, and anyone else in the same boat, to follow. (The tl;dr is that she now loves her ‘safety’ school and is just as happy and getting just as great of an education as her friends who went to Ivy’s, Top 3 LACs, etc. And so many other parents report the same).
Your D will most likely have a happy ending as well. Really. But, hugs to you both in the meantime.