My D is actually applying regular decision, not EA to Yale, but I dropped by this board to get a preview of what was coming (yikes!).
The term Asian American boy is not usually viewed as offensive (unless talking about an adult, perhaps). But if you’re not familiar already, the other posters pointed out that the term “boy” when denigrating a Black male is a loaded one and yes, can be very hurtful. I don’t think you meant to use it that way and were just trying to describe the student since you believe his race and gender are helping his admissions chances, but the history of the term is fraught with racist overtones (see, eg, Court finally says ‘boy’ comments are racist).
I understand it’s frustrating when students with stats that don’t seem as good as your kid’s seem to have an advantage in admissions. There may be other kids at your son’s school who also have other hooks that, unlike race, are not visibly obvious. Your son may have non-academic advantages you don’t realize but the admissions officer sees in his EC’s, his essays or LORs, etc. So I don’t, and probably no one on CC, knows what “racial advantage” the other student has over your son’s academics, if any.
We should all be hopeful, but maybe not “confident” when admissions rates are so low and every year so many super qualified students are rejected. And there’s no reason both your son and the other kid couldn’t be accepted, it’s not a zero sum game just between those two, so please try not to encourage your son to think the other student is taking anything that is rightfully his.
I haven’t actually read through it, but the thread on Race in Admissions may be where you want to discuss this more? "Race" in College Applications FAQ & Discussion 12
Your son sounds like he’s a great applicant and if not Yale I’m sure will get into another great school for him. Good luck!