<p>I don’t know how much your parents have socked away for retirement, but you should know that retirement is very expensive. For every $10,000 of income your parents want to draw each year, they should have $250,000 in savings. They should spend no more than 4 percent of the principle each year. So, for instance, if your parents want to live on $50,000 a year when they retire, which is not very much especially if they have to pay for medical insurance, they probably need about $500,000 in savings ($20,000 plus about $30,000 in social security). Remember that medical insurance can easily cost $12,000 or more. Remember also that if they’re living on $50,000 of income, they need to spend more than that on taxes. Remember that they will have to eat and pay property taxes and various things of this nature. I don’t know how old they are, but the amount of money that people should have in this country to retire safely is extraordinarily hard to gather. So for them to have put away $100,000 is an extremely generous achievement. It is not realistic for them to pay more.</p>
<p>manofthehoff,</p>
<p>I understand the disappointment you are feeling. If you are like many of the students I know who have gone on to highly selective and expensive universities, you may have spent the last year secretly feeling a little sorry for your classmates who were headed for Big State U, and now you find yourself joining them. Ouch.</p>
<p>You will discover this for yourself once you start at KU, if that is the school you attend, but I can give you a heads-up: many of the finest students in the US do not even apply to schools like Yale and NU, some because they know it is not in the cards financially and some because they just don’t care to go to such schools. Some of those top students will be your classmates. The percentage of top academic types at KU and many other State Us is much smaller than you would have encountered at NU, to be sure, but once you get past a few of the freshman survey courses, you will probably find that you are not the only one in class willing and able to excel.</p>
<p>Make a big effort to get to know your professors. Pay attention to which ones have external funding and have contacts in the professions that interest you. Go to the study abroad office as soon as you get to campus and find out what is available. Find or start campus clubs and organizations that will attract other top students.</p>
<p>Students who are at the top going in are at the top coming out. While the experience will not be the same as you would have enjoyed at NU, it will work out for you, and your post-graduate years will be a heck of a lot better if you are not weighted down by huge debt.</p>
<p>Best of luck.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>The difference is you are already 100K ahead and when you graduate, you will have that + interest while some of your friends may have debts to carry when they gradaute :)</p>
<p>OP, I don’t think you come across as a brat at all. Disappointed, yes. But not a brat.</p>
<p>I thought this was the most important thing you wrote: “I just feel like an idiot for knowing my parents’ values and not realizing this would happen.”</p>
<p>Ds is a junior, and I think I’ve been very clear with him about what he can expect from us financially, but who knows whether he’s listening. What advice do you have for us parents to make sure our kids understand the financial picture?</p>
<p>Also, one thing you learn as you get older is to be less judgmental because you have no idea what goes on behind the closed doors of others. These classmates who are headed to pricey schools may end up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt that will be a burden to them for decades to come. I’d take KU with no debt any day of the week.</p>
<p>If the $ is in your name vs your parents it will increase the EFC - if you move it to a 529 it will be “assessed” at the parent rate vs your rate, and EFC will go down dramatically. I don’t know if that would qualify for a change in circumstance review or not.</p>
<p>Your hard work in high school will show in your performance at the college “the people who almost flunked out of your high school” also attend. Even at the most competitive colleges/universities, the end results vary dramatically, depending on students’ capabilities and utilization of resources.</p>
<p>Many excellent students would be ecstatic with your savings and opportunity at any institution. We already know of numerous students who are suddenly unable to return to the colleges they already attend because of changed financial circumstances. Given what’s happened to many of us in this volatile economic climate, your parents’ approach sounds extremely reasonable.</p>
<p>I think one is more likely to find a brilliant student at a state university like KU than say, at an expensive but not top ranked private university.</p>
<p>You know, I’ve been thinking about your problem. I think that many kids feel like fools because they applied for schools that it turns out that they or their parents couldn’t afford. I think a lot of kids wonder why they bothered. But the fact is, you and your parents did everything you could. You took a chance that you MIGHT have gotten good financial aid. After all, it does happen sometimes. Everyone says that kids should apply for whatever schools they dream of because there is a chance that things might work out. Unfortunately, the cost in real heartache is high. But you should be proud of yourself because you know you were able to get into the school of your dreams, even if the dream doesn’t pan out.</p>
<p>At a lot of state flagships in this country, $100k pays for the <em>entire</em> UG degree plus some left over. With a National Merit package of $10k/year, you’re basically getting what amounts to a half-ride. You’ve probably been accepted to Honors, too. Go to KU and you may well have $50k left <em>after</em> your UG degree to pay for grad school, a car, a down payment, etc. Now <em>that</em> is an option worth having.</p>
<p>At the end of the day, it’s all about what you make of the experience. I had to turn down Duke due to finances and attend my flagship, and the grudge I carried around about the perceived injustice blinded me to what I could have accomplished (and didn’t) at the school I did attend. Short-sighted and a bad move on my part.</p>
<p>On the other hand, it was cheaper for my DH to attend an Ivy (with lots of FA and merit – no support at all from parents) than an in-state SUNY. Those FA packages are out there sometimes, and you were not a fool to go for that dream. But there are lots of other attainable dreams before you, too.</p>
<p>DH borrowed $50k for law school (we had been married three years when he went back to school) and it has been only 11 years since those loans were paid off and we were able to buy a modest house. Our kids were already in elementary school by that time. Child care, big student loan payments and a mortgage are tough to juggle for most people. Don’t underestimate the benefits of financial freedom.</p>
<p>wow how the op feels is exactly how i feel like, cept I dont even have a 100k college thingy.
It hurts now, knowing ppl who slacked off more than me, and are less qualified than me are going to better schools than me cos of finances. It seems like a waste of my time to do all this in high school, but I really dont want to put my parents in a bad financial situation and get into a lot of DEBT. I jsut realized how my decision as an 18 year old will have direct lasting FINANCIAL impact and how much debt I will be paying of for the rest of my life. I jsut dont think i am mature enough to determine if getting that much debt is worth it, so I am gonna be taking the safer option and going to the state u. </p>
<p>Urg , I also feel like a whiny brat when I say why did i just work in high school to end up going somewhere I could have gotten with a LOT less work. I guess thats life. We made an investment and it just did not pay off this time.</p>
<p>It has NOT been a waste of time!!! Working hard has given you skills to make the most of <em>wherever</em> you go. Your ability to manage a tough workload and do well will put you in line for research/internship opportunities, picking up a double major, taking early graduate work, etc. </p>
<p>Kids who didn’t work hard in HS are going to be sorely tested when they have to carry a workload, study independently, etc. without the infrastructure they enjoyed at home. Some will rise to the occasion; others will struggle. Some will not graduate.</p>
<p>You have invested in yourself and your future. This is NOT a waste.</p>
<p>^Thats very true, and I am sure both the op and I believe what you said is true at the end. Still thats a long term affect, and in the present we have not gained any tangible advantage compared to those other kids. Though i believe I will see the fruits of my labor some day, I have not seen it today and thats what hurts. ah well! Gotta make best of whats given to me.</p>
<p>This quandary is similar to that created when applicants are denied acceptance to a college where seemingly less qualified applicants are admitted (sometimes with incredible financial aid!).</p>
<p>This is a great opportunity to make a huge success of what is possible, and look back in later years, congratulating yourself for making intelligent choices at a young age ;).</p>
<p>OP. You say you wish you’d understood your parent’s “values” better…But, I think you have learned quite a lot from their values. For example, you are not even considering going into 100K debt for undergrad. They are not considering it either. Sounds like you’re both on the exact same page.</p>
<p>I actually think they did an excellent job teaching you, and thier values are well-placed. You are clearly a terriffic student and capable of seeing the long-term implications of your actions, great skill set at your age.</p>
<p>Dream deferred. I paid for school myself, went to a state U, did grad work at Northwestern. Wouldn’t trade the camaraderie and joy of the state school for anything in the world. Wouldn’t trade the education later, once I really knew what I wanted to study, for anything, either. You’re on track to have everything you want and even some things you don’t know that you want by making such sound judgements now.</p>
<p>I applaud your great good sense.</p>
<p>if EFC was $63,000, your parents should have the funds to help you. It’s not fair for them to put 100k on your shoulders. The college expects your parents to help more if your EFC is that high</p>
<p>When my DH went to college, his parents made him go to a public university and he was pretty upset about it. But then, much later, when we were buying our first house, they helped us by lending us the down payment, and then, after we’d shown for some years that we would be reliable by paying them back on time each month, forgave the debt. Throughout our lives, they found strategic ways to help us financially. Now that our child is ready for college, I realize what an incredible gift they gave us with the way they gave us money. He had no debt going into marriage, we were able to get financial security with a home and we are going to be okay. Many people can’t say that in today’s world. So it is possible that in the long view, your parents are looking out for you and that they might be available for help and guidance throughout the course of your life.</p>
<p>I haven’t been around CC for a long time, just listening in during the application phase, going through that with my own D, and now. But, I’m wondering? Does this kind of thing happen every year? Where kids have these unfounded expectations of their parents financial resources and willingness to use their resources for undergrad educations?</p>
<p>It doesn’t matter what “the colleges expect” parents to pay. And “expect” is an interesting word, as if it is up to the colleges how the parents will save or spend. ie “The colleges expect it, therefore, the parents “owe” it to thier adult kids.”</p>
<p>I’ve been particularly impressed with THIS poster because he seems to actually understand the wieght of this debt and to know it is not something he wants. My assumption (though I could be wrong) is that he learned this over time living with his parents. I ‘get’ that he is disappointed, but I can see that he will come to understand the value 1. of having been given the gift of 100K, and 2. of having been responsible for the rest of his education and for making solid decisions, as well.</p>
<p>I’m actually rather horrified by the # of business school hopefuls who don’t understand debt, on this site. I chalk it up to young age. But, still, it does not bode well for the already shattered (by over-leveraging) financial situation in the US.</p>
<p>So, is this a new thing? Or has it always been a problem around this time of year? Is this an outgrowth of helicopter parenting? Or …has it always been a major issue?</p>
<p>NW frustrates a lot of Chi area people that can’t afford the cost. On the one hand, it’s great that poorer kids get to attend. My nephew has a friend that went there for relatively little, who herself had very little (and she graduated in 4 years). On the other hand, it seems the top middle class kids don’t go there due to costs. Frankly it lessens the appeal of the place a bit IMO.</p>
<p>KU is a great school!</p>
<p>The dilemma though is further increased though, since parents never told me that they could not afford it at all, and still expected me to shoot for schools at these caliber and pushed me to apply to these schools (maybe they themselves did not realize that financial aid is @#$%). I am in no way expecting my parents to pay for this stuff, but at 15 years old, when i stayed up till 3 to study for a calculus I could not think this far that my parents would not be able to afford these places. Felt like if I had been informed, I could have had a more well rounded high school life and better health. </p>
<p>I have already committed to the public since its something my parents can afford instead of the 52 k ivy that offered no aid at all.</p>
<p>Congrats on being accepted!</p>
<p>A $63,000 is a very high EFC. It means that they department of education believes your parents can contribute $63,000 to your education per year. The cost of Northwestern, however, is lower than $63,000 per year so you won’t qualify for financial aid. </p>
<p>Now the EFC formula is based on a bunch of different variables. Variables like your income and assets, your parents income and assets, how many people in the family and how many kids in school. There are legal and ethical ways to lower your EFC. I’ve seen families EFC drop from $101,340 to $24,000. The important point here is legal and ethical ways to lower EFC. Everyone’s situation is a little different.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, college don’t tell families how to lower their EFC. </p>
<p>If you have other college offers you might want to point this out to Northwestern. If you fit their “ideal” student profile they might work with you.</p>
<p>BTW $100,000 in debt is way to high.</p>