<p>In trying to break tradition, one of the colleges I'm applying to asks me to write a personal statement broken into 6 sections (as opposed to the ol' 500+ word essay) in which 100 words is allotted to each section.</p>
<p>One of the sections goes like this: Describe examples of your leadership experience and share how you have significantly influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time. Consider responsibilities you have taken for initiatives in or out of school.</p>
<p>Yeah, it's quite the mouthful. I could write a novella on the prompt and they want me to use about as many words as I did for the intro on my CommonApp essay (which was around 80 words).</p>
<p>So what's the trick? With such a small limit, should I take the "listy" route? i.e. "I did this and I learned that and such an experience helped me into my future in such way blah blah blah".</p>
<p>Help :</p>
<p>Maybe quality over quantity? Pick two quality examples and spend 50 words on each?</p>
<p>That’s still barely anything. 50 words sounds like a lot, until you actually write it. How can I right quality in such a short amount of space? (This whole post, including this sentence is 39 words, almost to the limit.</p>
<p>okay so just spend 100 words on one example</p>
<p>Yeah, but how? That’s the problem.
I could say something like:
"Last year, I was awarded the title of President of my school’s French Club. For the preceding 2 years, I had been an active member in the club, to coincide with the French language class I was taking. Foreign language was and still is my passion and I now I could help spread that passion to others. Throughout the duration of the year, I planned field trips, banquets, and educated the members on the French culture. Students were genuinely interested in the club that had once been ridiculed as "the hang out spot” and we had the highest membership dating back many years”</p>
<p>That’s about 103 words. Does it sound good? Does it answer the prompt? I feel that it’s way too brief and it sounds like I’m just telling a recount of how “awesome” I am. Comments?</p>
<p>you’re right, it sounds like you’re bragging. </p>
<p>try this flow instead: love for foreign languages > desire to impassion your peers > made president > tried to improve the attitude of the club > used your genuine love for french to plan meaningful activities > observed flourishing interest and heightened membership > contented with the impact your presence had and grateful for the experience.</p>
<p>what do you think?</p>
<p>Alright, revised:</p>
<p>The son of a multilingual dad, I grew up with the importance of speaking more than just your native tongue. So when foreign languages were made available in high school, I took the French route. To coincide with this, I joined French club freshman year. I was an active member, working my way to club president after a couple years. Previously, the club had been a joke of sorts, being dubbed “the hangout club”. But I sought to change that, packing the year with field trips, banquets, and enveloping the members in the French culture. Club membership was at an all-time high and the experience taught me an important lesson; passion equals success.</p>
<p>My revisions:</p>
<p>The son of a multilingual father, I grew up nurtured with the values of foreign languages. In high school, (insert statement about finding French class and what emotions it gave you). Craving a forum to discuss foreign language, I joined French Club. I quickly took action (insert information about what you did prior to becoming president.) As president, I packed the year with field trips, banquets, and encouraged immersion in the French culture. That year, club membership was at an all-time high, and the club was no longer dismissed as “the hangout club.” My experience with the club has proved to me that honest passion and dedication can equate to success.</p>
<p>Wow, that sound so much better :D. Thank you!
I have 5 more of these things to write, would you mind being my editor?</p>
<p>you’re welcome! and i wouldn’t mind at all :’)</p>
<p>Thanks mucho :). I’ll PM you when I finish the next section, if that’s okay. Don’t wanna feed the trolls with my work lol.</p>