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<p>Fair enough, but actually what happened is that during my kids’ sophomore year, we were traveling to FL to visit the grandparents; the flight was overfull and I negotiated for us to be bumped and got $1600 worth of tickets. This enabled us to essentially do the airfare for our visits for free (we took 3 trips). I took very little time off work to do this, as I leveraged 3- and 4-day school weekends and spring break.</p>
<p>LBowie, sounds you do have a parental opinion. How many 17 year olds are going to take a school off their list because they don’t think the library measures up?</p>
<p>I think that parents certainly can get involved in other ways. I was unable to do any of the visits so I did tons of web research to help my son come up with the list as well as spending a lot of time on CC :)</p>
<p>I don’t think there is any one definite answer whether a student should visit alone or not. Depends on the student and other variables.</p>
<p>Sure, I have my opinions. I also have a lot of experience attending various schools and working at others. But I still don’t think it is critical for the parent to see the school before applying, as long as it fits other criteria like price, location, academic fit. As it happens, my son is attending a school that we did not visit junior year. We visited it in April, just last month (this school was a waitlist for him). It was not near other schools, so was not practical to make a separate visit to earlier, even though it was high on his list. We also visited another school in April to which he was accepted but we similarly did not make it to beforehand for similar reasons. (We visited both using frequent flyer miles.) Of the schools he did visit junior year (about a dozen between going with me, my husband, and by himself), I think he applied to five. It will be interesting to see how we decide to approach the visits with his brother in several years. I think we will use a more streamlined approach. I also have a hunch brother will want to stay closer to home, but it’s hard to know yet.</p>
<p>Re post #41. My kids also had free airfare to play around with as well… but only enough to cover single tickets. Hence, they were the ones sitting on the plane. </p>
<p>The OP plans to travel by bus and has not given any indication whatsoever as to the parents’ finances. Given the plan to stay in a hostel (which I don’t think will work because of the age issue) – I’d guess that funds are limited. I’d also guess that the parents would not be all that happy about traveling by bus & staying in hostels – so there could be a pretty big difference it the cost for the kid alone vs. cost of kid + parent(s). </p>
<p>On the other hand, if the parents want to do college visits, they might have brought it up by now. The fact that the OP is making these plans without having first discussed them with the parents may be an indication that the parents are not particularly interested in the school visits. We don’t know anything about family background and culture – so there may be many reasons why the parents would not be all that eager to come along.</p>
<p>My recommendation is that you should visit Northwestern instead of UIUC. I think UIUC is like ~3 hours from Chicago, whereas if you visit UChicago → UIC → Depaul and then Northwestern it would safe you time. I think DePaul, which is in Lincoln Park, is less than an hour from Northwestern. If you’re a top student, I think you might be more interested in NU than UIUC. </p>
<p>Also, UIUC is like in the middle of nowhere, so I would be alert if I am visiting there. UChicago is known to be a so-so neighborhood, so definitely visit during the day. If you can, you should visit during the school year. I also suggest that you do overnights at the colleges because they are so much fun (that is if you get placed with a cool host) plus you receive free lunch vouchers!</p>
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<p>Parental presence in medical visits, at best, inhibits teens and, at worst, dominates discussion with parental fears and concerns. Most doctors insist on talking to 17 year-olds apart from their parents. </p>
<p>While the parents will be footing the college bill, it’s the student who must attend the college.</p>
<p>Ideally, I would like to take two trips. Maybe two might be unnecessary but I would like to take at least one of those trips alone.</p>
<p>There are some things I will not say/do in front of my parents. Of course nothing like bad behavior but I probably won’t ask “how’s the party life” or “do people usually go out” in front of my folks, as they would take that statement the wrong way instead of it as answering my curiosity. My parents are immigrants from an African country and they are not the most educated of people (I had to once explain to them and show them that Illinois was not a city). Generally I’m more relaxed when I do things on my own, I have the independence to do what I would like during the tour, venture a little longer on the campus when I’m even when tired of walking, and ask questions that won’t make my parents skeptical of me being on my own hundreds of miles away from them. Generally I’m more relaxed when I’m own my own, add another person, esp. my parents and I get stressed out. If I go once alone before I apply to the schools, see how I like the environment, get first impressions, and not have it be so ‘serious’. Then when I’ve applied and those who have accepted me, I’ll feel more comfortable with my parents coming along. I can show them highlights of my previous tour that I enjoyed, what i didn’t like, and tell them how I functioned on being alone at first, and how I functioned with them being there.</p>
<p>Have you figured out an alternative place to stay, rather than the hostel? As I posted before, most hostels won’t rent to a 17 year old who is alone. The same problem can crop up with hotels as well.</p>
<p>Aerlan, sounds like you have a good understanding of yourself and your parents ability to help you with these decisions. Everyone’s situation is different and given that your parents are immigrants, then you are the one in your family with the most skill at processing what you learn.</p>
<p>Most of us respond viewing our own parent-child relationships, which are different. </p>
<p>I agree with others, coming up with better overnite accommodations that are safer is your next task. Call the schools and ask what they suggest for a student traveling alone.
Maybe you can do student overnites on the campus for some of the time. </p>
<p>my$0.02, I just went with my son for his physical with a new doctor and have been present at every other exam with the old doctor. They readily showed me into the room, the doctor never asked me to leave in fact some of the questions my son didn’t really remember which I of course did. My friend has a daughter that is being treated for a chronic disease and she goes to every appt. so it depends on what the student is being treated for. </p>
<p>The only things a student is going to be concerned saying in front of their parents are questions about sex or drugs. A smart doctor would just ask the parent to step out when they do that part of their exam and ask the student then.</p>
<p>Aerlen – I just want to clarify – I wasn’t saying that the hostel was “unsafe” as other parents have stated. My daughter stayed at least one night in a hostel in NY when she was visiting colleges at age 17, and when she was a few years older traveled all through Europe staying at hostels. I said they won’t rent to you at age 17, unless you are with someone older. (When my daughter was 17, she had a 19 year old friend with her).</p>
<p>Again: the point is simply that they probably won’t let you check in by yourself at age 17. The “unsafe” part would be arriving in Chicago and then finding out you had no place at all to stay. </p>
<p>As to the medical thing, my kids’ doctors did not bring me into the room after they were teenagers. From the time my daughter could drive, at age 16, she made and went to her doctor & dental appointments on her own. I very often did not even find out about the medical visits until the insurance statements arrived. On the medical end of things, it is important that a young woman can tell her doctor whether or not she is sexually active. That is not necessarily something a teenager is going to want to confide to their parents.</p>
<p>At some point 16ish I think, my kids saw my boys without me and then called me in at the end and we had a chat together, where the doctor could clarify anything my sons’ couldn’t answer. My younger son asked to switch to our family practitioner the summer before college started and I think has seen him without me entirely on the last couple of visits. On the first one I came in at the end, because there was a discussion about whether the insurance would pay for the HPV vaccine which my dh felt strongly he should get.</p>