I loved when my friend and her son danced to “Sunny” by Bobby Hebb. It was something different. There are lots of cover versions.
Perhaps in geographic areas (the South) and religious groups (Catholics) where double first names are common, this is the predominant pattern. You wouldn’t expect a Sue Ellen or a Mary Katherine to become just Sue or just Mary because she got married, right?
Here’s an article pointing to the maiden as middle name phenomenon as being a more recent trend, which is what I’ve noticed from my own experience. I found other articles stating it as a modern trend as well. Perhaps, for those who see it as an older custom, it speaks to roots. For example, the only personal examples I can think of from a few generations ago were of the old, WASP moneyed set, the Mayflower type names where there is a perceived social distinction to the name. In contrast, I come from a more peasant, immigrant, Catholic background. 
Almost all of my friends kept their own names. The only person I can think offhand who dropped her middle name in favor of her maiden name when taking her H’s name did so because she hated her middle name in combo with her first name. She always said it sounded like “____ ____, slop the hogs!”
I was married in the late 1980s, before I was established in my career and I did the first/
maiden/ husband’s last name. I wanted to have the same last name as my (eventual) child, and wanted my child to have my husband’s beautiful last name.
Throughout my career, I’ve seen many, many professional women use their maiden name as their middle name, and to actually use it in formal correspondence etc. My signature block, for example, has all three names.
Also, I think the rise of social media has solidified this trend because people want to be searchable / findable to those who knew them before they were married.
Women of my age (50) and younger seem much more likely to have changed their names upon marriage (to men) than women 10-15 years older, who were more likely to keep their names, in my experience.
I’ve been seeing a lot of young couples in which both spouses change their names to a new combined name.
The article is interesting as almost everyone I know from my generation (married in the early 80’s) as well as my mother’s friends, all have their maiden name as their middle name. I just assumed that was how it was done when I got married, and never even entertained keeping my given middle name.
Again, maybe this was a Southern Jewish thing! Of my female friends that I met as adults, I could not tell you their middle names, but do know their maiden names.
I originally had a double name because the woman who took the information for my birth certificate insisted to my mother that it be that way. My fourth grade teacher would only call me by the first name, so my mother changed my name on all my school records and later gave an affidavit for a correction on my birth certificate that the two names were meant to be combined (not my name, but example - Mary Ann became Maryann). Anyway, after many years with no middle name and despising how many times I had to explain I didn’t have one, I was thrilled to be able to use my maiden name as my middle name when I married. I’m from the South and most of my friends use their maiden name as their middle name.
I haven’t even thought to ask D what she is planning to do.
My wife and I were married in 1979 and she kept her maiden name and did not take my last name. Our children have my last name. When my son got married, his wife kept her maiden name as the second name and took my son’s last name as her own. When my daughter gets married in October, she will retain her maiden name without taking her husband’s last name. She has said that their children will have her husband’s last name. I’m all for everyone just doing what they are comfortable with and what makes sense to them. For those who have established careers, particularly where their name is like their “brand”, keeping one’s own name can be important. For others it can be just a philosophical decision. At the end of the day, if it becomes an “issue” because of “ceremony and convention”, then I would hate to see how the couple deals with real difficulties in married life :).
Growing up on the West Coast, I didn’t know of anyone who dropped their middle name to move their maiden name into that slot. We either took our husband’s name or kept our own last name. I tried hyphenating the two last names, but the next semester I ran out of spaces to bubble in 18 letters and a hyphen on those computer registration cards. getting the classes I wanted at the times I wanted them trumped making a statement about my name.
Decades later we bought a house in Louisiana, and the title co informed me that because of their state laws (based on French property laws, they said) I had to take title as First Maiden Last. So I signed all those many, many documents with a name that didn’t match any of my ID. It felt very strange.
I was married in 1977. My maiden name became my middle name and my husband’s name became my last name. I don’t recall even thinking much about it as that is what seemed most common.
Both my daughters are getting married this year. I didn’t ask D1 about the name thing, but I feel quite certain she will be keeping her own name. D2 did tell me what she is doing. She is a professional performer and is already established with her name and so she will keep her name professionally, but take her fiancé’s last name legally for everything else.
My mother kept her middle name. Her father died when she was young. Her mother remarried and she was adopted by her stepfather. She preferred the sound of her birth name, but didn’t want to dishonor her stepfather. My 3 sisters and I all kept our middle names as well. In our family, my parents and all 6 kids have middle names starting with the same letter. By keeping our middle names, we keep this unique tradition alive.
@JEM and @abasket, didn’t an old thread (Wedding reception playlist??) maybe veer off to songs that were used for Mother-Son dance? I seem to recall a number of good suggestions…
but I don’t have time to do a search right now…
I’ll have to look for that. Thanks @gosmom.
Good call @gosmom! I bookmarked it to read later.
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/960200-wedding-reception-playlist.html
My oldest daughter is getting married this year. I am pretty sure she is keeping her name.
I went from First Middle Maidenname to First Middle Husbandname. To me, it would be difficult to give up my middle name – that’s much more a part of me that my maiden last name ever was. But that’s just me, and of course everyone can do their own thing and it’s all good.
I wonder to what extent Facebook is changing those norms, though? I now know a lot of women’s maiden names because they are First Maidenname Husbandname on Facebook, even though in real life they go more by the First Middle Husbandname like I do. But it’s easier to find someone on FB with the maiden name in there.
On the topic of choosing a mother-son dance based on intersection of tastes in popular music, S and I would probably end up with something like Purple Haze, LOL.
I was married in 1981 in the midwest and it was way more common with people I knew to do first-middle-married name. Like PG, my middle name has special meaning and I wouldn’t have wanted to get rid of it!!!
Most of my girlfriends were married in the 1980’s, and most of us went from (say) Mary Elizabeth Smith to Mary Elizabeth Jones. If we didn’t use our middle names, we might still sign official papers as Mary E. Jones. In my personal observation, I didn’t see the trend of going from Mary Elizabeth Smith to Mary Smith Jones until the 1990’s. For whatever that’s worth, which is not a lot!
Well, when I got married in the late 80s and started using First / Maiden/ Husband’s last name as my official name AND as the name I use on a daily basis, I didn’t exactly get rid of my original middle name. I still have it, and still consider it part of my full name.
But in official paperwork there is not usually space for two middle names, and I never used my given middle name in day to day use PRIOR to my getting married, so not using it as part of my regular signature AFTER getting married didn’t really feel like I was “getting rid” of my middle name.
I do use first/ maiden/ married name as my regular name on a day to day basis now. It is part of my signature and is how I am formally identified in my bio, on my CV, in court pleadings, on my letterhead, etc.