A friend of mine married a guy from a big family (I think 8 kids?) and the inlaws were ‘comfortable’ while friend was from a less affluent family. She didn’t register for china. Her MIL gave her 2 place settings of china and said “Take it back if you don’t like it, pick what you like, but you are getting china and will continue to receive china for holidays for a long time to come.” She did that with each child/spouse and my friend really liked it. As the years went on she got more place settings and then serving bowls and platters. I don’t know if they then went on to silver and crystal, but probably. I think it is nice to have a ‘go to’ gift for holidays rather than the MIL trying to select gifts for 16 adults per year plus the grandchildren.
Hate to say it, but a mother-in-law who insists on giving china to someone who doesn’t want china sounds unbearably controlling. It’s lucky that your friend liked it! I wonder what the mother-in-law would have done if the daughter-in-law said, “No thank you, I don’t want china.”
If someone told you “I’ll buy you china and it can be any china you want”, I think it would actually be ruder to say, “No thank you, I don’t want china.”
Wow, I don’t get that at all (as someone who doesn’t like/want china)! It would be a total waste of money let alone be offensive to have someone tell me what I should want. Not to mention the fact that for years you would be receiving a gift you don’t want - and being reminded of it with every gift giving occasion!
Seriously, china has no place in my life. If you don’t like to exercise but I insist on buying you a treadmill how are you going to feel about that!? (BTW, I’d LOVE a treadmill!)
@frazzled1 -My DIL has a Kate Spade pattern that is dishwasher safe. We googled it right from the dinner table the first time she used it to be sure. Check before you wash another dish!
@missypie I stumbled across this and thought of you. The last photo is a popcorn bar.
http://www.powerscourthotel.com/wedding-news.html/news-6-pop-up-bars-for-your-wedding-reception-html
That popcorn bar is adorable and so simple! I love it.
I was at an event with a croquembouche. The thing with it is - people stand around and don’t really touch it. You have to have someone be the first to pull it apart. My H and I were assigned that job. :-). The other thing is that it can be messy and you just want to consider that when people are dressed up.
If I had to do it over again I would have gotten something like the many cream colored Wedgwood patterns that can work for everyday but dress up nicely too. My good pattern is kind of sweetly twee - a 21 yos taste - but not sophisticated looking like so many of today’s patterns, and it gets used once a year and is a pain to maintain and store. I’d sell it all if H didn’t object. Ditto on good silver. That was a waste.
There’s a reason good china and good silver are worth so little in a resale market - things that aren’t microwave-safe (in the case of the china) or dishwasher-safe just don’t fit today’s lifestyle.
We put our good silver in the dishwasher. But I’ve had too many painted patterns wear off dishes to risk them.
My understanding is that you can put good silver in as long as you don’t have stainless in there at the same time. Is that correct? Either way, I should have just bought 24 settings of stainless instead of 12 stainless and 12 silver.
Thanks for the popcorn bar pix. I have a pinterest board with all kinds of popcorn ideas. BUT, I am the MOG. I think the bride and her mom like the idea and will include it as part of the cocktail hour. Now that they have taken over the idea, I have to let them take over.
@Mathmom, those are really interesting dishes! You can put Wedgwood into the dishwasher as long as it is glazed over the pattern; i.e., not antique. I do. You’re supposed to use gel, not powder, soap. I have a number of patterns, though, so it’s not like I’m putting the same plates in the d/w every day. Maybe that would be too much wear and tear.
@abasket, since it was clear that the MIL would get them whatever they wanted, what is the big deal? I’m beginning to wonder what you eat off of, since apparently china, porcelain, pottery, et al are not acceptable. 
One of my husband’s brothers and his wife selected Lenox Eternal as their pattern–perhaps the epitome of what I dislike, personally, but hey, it was their choice. We gave them some as a wedding present. Later, they told me that since they only received four or so place settings, they returned it and spent the money on something else. Like the MIL in the story, I would have continued to give them pieces for Christmas in the ensuing years, until they had a reasonable amount. But apparently they thought that no one would give them any more after the wedding. Anyway, I said that was fine, and didn’t tell them they would have gotten more.
The concept of a popcorn bar is interesting, but on, that link really illustrates you can call anything a “bar” these days - what’s the difference between the “brunch bar” and, well, just brunch?
For a popcorn bar, I wouldn’t envision just baskets of popcorn - I would envision different shake-on toppings or some way to customize it.
Pizzagirl, there is a store very close to the reception venue that sells something like 45 flavors of popcorn. That was what I was envisioning.
Oh, ok! I was thinking something more like a bar where you customized- you take plain popcorn (or maybe cheese and caramel too) and you give the person the option to customize with different spray-on butters/toppings, different shakers (various cheeses, something hot/spicy like chili or sriracha, maybe caramel, apple cinnamon, etc) and different mix-ins (like nuts, raisins, chocolate chips, etc). Even different container options so you could pick your own color bowl/container. I like the idea of surprise, delight and interaction when planning things like this. I bet there are great Pinterest boards on this. Even if a nearby store has lots of different flavors, I’d still add a customization option if possible. Keeps it lively and fun IMO.
My friend didn’t object to china, it just wasn’t something she knew to register for as a young 20 something. MIL treated all kids the same, so gave the china. If my friend really objected to it, she could have returned it and I guess the MIL would have given her something else she didn’t want or need for 20 years of Christmases.
My mother was from a family where the girls picked a silver pattern when they were 18 and that was their gift for holidays for the following years. My mother got married at 19, and her family gave her additional place settings then rather than for the next 10 years.
Everything doesn’t have to be negative. The china was a gift. I really like the idea of a wedding gift where the couple can remember years later those who gave the gift just by looking at it. Co-workers gave my sister her silver, a group of co-workers and I gave a couple all the accessory pieces to their everyday china (every single thing on her registry was purchased by others) like the serving plates, butter dish, veggie bowls. We could have each given her a $25 bowl, but this seemed better to me.
Lenox Eternal look just like the dishes my parents used that came with their (diplomatic) job when they got advanced enough that dishes came with the houses. Safe, boring, but fancy enough for diplomatic dinners.
I think if she really didn’t like china she could have suggested a more casual dish to use instead. My brother and his wife picked a china that was so pricey I think they ended up only getting about three dessert plates because even a single dinner plate was too pricey for most of us recent grads.
I also like wedding gifts where you remember who gave the gift. My favorite ones are all things that weren’t on the registry.
I like boring dishes. My new dishes are all white but come in a range of shapes and sizes. Pretty much the restaurant plating concept. Let’s the food shine on the plate. Interest is added to the table through table settings - linens, flowers, candles, etc.
Pizzagirl, great idea, too, but as I keep telling myself, I’m the MOG, not my party.