I have a relative who was estranged from her son and did not attend his wedding. It was really sad. So, instead of a mother/son dance they had a brother/sister dance.
abasket-Your story reminds me of Kelly Clarkston’s song, “Piece By Piece” about her estranged dad. I heard her interviewed talking about what the song meant, and I started with the tears. Luckily, I have never had to experience a hurt like that, but I am sure it runs deep, and never truly goes away.
I like the brother/sister dance, which my daughter’s best friend recently did at her wedding as her father died years ago. Or a favorite uncle or family friends; hopefully there is a male figure that can stand in with the bride.
RSVP deadline passed over the weekend and we still have lots of non-responders. I will be a better guest in the future now that I’ve been on the MOB train and will make sure I always respond no later than one week ahead of the requested deadline.
My daughter is getting married at the end of August and we have had enough trouble getting guests to respond to the shower. I can only imagine how RSVP’s for the wedding will go.
Same for us @2VU0609 . Had to have H call some of his family members yesterday to ask “so, yes or no?” - I mean, really, I don’t care either way but JUST LET US KNOW!!! Even a good friend of mine had not sent hers in yet - “I’m still not sure if 24 year old S from 3 hours away will be home that weekend” - well, I guess you have to make the call! If he can’t decide three weeks out, then he should decide to just not come!
S/FDIL wedding is a buffet - so not plated - but how do we make the best call for # of meals? I think they will be at around 100 responding “yes” to RSVP - so do they add maybe 10% in extra? Or will some who said they will come, NOT come??? Sure hate to overpay, sure hate to have loads leftover!!!
The new inlaws had 42 people over to their house the day after the wedding, so all of the leftovers were quickly consumed.
I ask the venue how close the count has to be and how far ahead they need to have the precise count. I give a count 10% below the confirmed # because of inevitable last minute colds and cancellations and so far that’s worked pretty well.
S and DIL had to chase a few people for RSVPs last year. So did I for the rehearsal dinner, including some members of the bride’s family. They were coming from out of town so was I just supposed to assume they’d be there in time for the rehearsal dinner.
Having done 2 bar mitzvahs, I wasn’t at all surprised by the lack of responses. I always make sure I RSVP ASAP since then.
D calls twice a day now - when she goes home at lunch to let the dog out and to check the mail and then again later in the afternoon. No responses in the mailbox today!! She has been e-mailing her list and I’m going to have to push for responses from my MIA folks tomorrow if their responses aren’t in the mailbox tomorrow. The ones that I’m responsible for at this point are going to be awkward and I’m not looking forward to it. Just using this in the place of the “Say It Here…” thread, so apologies for the constant frustration:)
@abasket, I agree with HImom on underestimating your count, although maybe not by quite as much as 10% under. Then again, when S married in 2012, we handed in a number of close to 90 for the rehearsal dinner and actually only had less than 90%, so maybe her estimate is a good starting point. We are having a buffet with stations at D’s wedding, so we are likely to underestimate by a few.
I’m invited to a wedding in June and there is no RSVP. I think the bride is just keeping a general list of who she thinks is coming. She’s Mormon, so no one will be at the actual wedding (even my daughter, who is a bridesmaid) except their parents and then there is a lunch which is for the families, bridal party and a few friends (like me and daughter’s boyfriend), and I assume there will be about 75 people there. Then at night there is the reception and dancing. The lunch and reception are at their local ward hall, and there is a second reception in July near his home in another state. I think the couple know which of their college friends will go to which reception, know who in their families will go to one or both, and the rest are just fillers. Extra food and extra drinks will be consumed over the summer.
“The ones that I’m responsible for at this point are going to be awkward and I’m not looking forward to it”
I don’t think you should feel awkward about calling at all! The non-RSVPed guests are the only ones that should feel awkward.
Except those are the people that never feel awkward…about much of anything.
S and FDIL came over for dinner last night and they let me go at them with a question/answer session. 
Less than three weeks away - and they have LOTS to do! I knew this would happen! All major things are fine, but the little touches - well, they will happen or not - and I’m ok with that - and they seem to be too!
One point of discussion - they ordered cute little map boxes with delicate tags with their names on it. Now they need to decide what to fill them with. They talked about Jordan almonds. I had these as favors at my wedding 35 years ago - does anyone even eat them??? Seriously!
I understand the tradition behind them:
Jordan Almonds for Thee
Five sugared almonds for each guest to eat To remind us that life is both bitter and sweet. Five wishes for the new husband and wife – Health, wealth, happiness, children, and a long life!
But…is this a waste of $$? Do any of you chose to eat them?! Maybe I’m wrong.
So, if they don’t do the almonds…any other SIMPLE suggestions at this late a date? Not going to spend a lot of money with fancy wrapped chocolates. Maybe something at Costco that can be bought in bulk?
If they decide to do the almonds does anyone recall seeing these at Costco?
Just did a quick search - Hershey Hugs and Kisses would be cute and economical!
I was at a wedding recently and they put two individually wrapped mint lifesavers in little boxes. I liked that and often have a mint after a cup of coffee, but hugs and kisses would be more appropriate, assuming people pay attention to what they are eating!
I’m not sure if this has already been mentioned, but I understand that the old traditional garter and bouquet toss is no longer a custom. My daughter is not planning to do it because she thinks it sexist and unnecessary. I agree, but didn’t realize that it wasn’t happening until she mentioned it.
S and DIL had what looked like Jordan almonds at each place setting. Alot of guests just left them. I took mine because, of course, it was my son’s wedding after all. They ended up being filled with chocolate. Had I known that, I would’ve taken the ones that were left, and I’m sure guests wouldn’t have skipped them.
So my advice is skip the Jordan almonds, but, if they get something that could be mistaken for Jordan almonds, be sure everyone knows that’s not what they are.
walkinghome, those are some of the many old wedding traditions I am glad have gone by the wayside! Especially the garter thing, always disgusted me. We didn’t do either of those at my wedding 30 years ago.
@abasket - There is still enough time to order custom m&ms.
I was worried that m & m’s might melt in the box at some point - being delivered in the car to the venue or whatever. I thought something wrapped would be better.
Just got the thumbs up from FDIL to buy hugs and kisses - I told her to check with her mom first re: the almonds because it might be an important tradition to her (they are Lebanese and the wedding is in her church) - her mom’s response: “I don’t care if you put raisins in the boxes let’s just get them done!!!” - I LOVE her mom.