2016 and beyond wedding moms and dads (Part 1)

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Undoubtedly, Son’s tears as he watched his bride walk down the aisle. I always watch the groom as the bride appears and Son did not disappoint.

I was also blown away by the organ processional. We knew that the organist was going to combine two songs, but we were not prepared for how he kept working the first song into the second. Truly a work of art.

I was quite flattered that a certain couple stayed until the end of the reception because the wife puts on the type of over the top weddings for her kids that could easily be featured on a reality TV show. It was great to see them dancing the night away at our rather modest gathering.

Great question, musica! We need to ask that of everyone who checks in after their big event!

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Happy to hear that. Sounds like you raised him well. ^:)^

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Hey wedding group…I just thought of something that might be helpful to those of you who are a few weeks or months out. Create a “group” on your cell phone of the cell numbers of the out of town guests for which you will have logistical responsibility…maybe two or more groups would be appropriate - e.g. The Smith Relatives, The Jones Relatives, The College Friends, etc. (Many Organization Points are hereby awarded to you if you’ve already done this!)

When I think about the families who went to the wrong place for the rehearsal dinner, they had an email and info on paper in their welcome bags, but didn’t have info in their cell phones. A group text reminder of the location may have helped them.

When we arrived at the reception, H’s relatives claimed they didn’t know where to sit. There were tables reserved for family but they just said “reserved” - did not specify for whom and I didn’t remember to tell them. (Of course, MY relatives managed to figure it out on their own.) If you have a group text set up, it is easier to pass on info that you may not have remembered to share. (Yes, I had a checklist but “tell H’s relatives that one of the reserved tables is for them” was not on it.) It also would have been helpful, the next morning to send out a “Brunch is at 11:30” reminder, etc. rather than fielding individual calls.

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^That’s a great hint, MP.

So gald all went well. Am looking forward to additional reports on upcoming weddings.

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Just limped home from attending the wedding of a nephew. Still recovering from a knee injury, so it was a stretch to put on dress/dress shoes (almost flat sandals) for this event. But thought we would be at a sit down dinner reception, so I soldiered on.

Nope. Arrived at a buffet stand up reception, with a few round tables that had been taken up by the first ones there and kept for the entire night. Stood for over 2 hours, and watched several grandparents and other elderly relatives stand while younger ones sat at the few tables.

PLEASE, PLEASE if you are planning a reception, give your elderly and handicapped guests a place to sit. I don’t care if it is a line of chairs against the wall at the very back of the venue.

It was a fun night, seeing family and witnessing the vows of this young couple. I could tell much thought went into most of the decisions and details. But the seating issue was definitely a Fail.

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Great tip @missypie !
@powercropper - I can’t imagine planning a stand up reception unless the object is to get people to leave ASAP! We’ve talked to our dj and the wedding reception person about having a quiet corner of the reception area for the Grandparents and older relatives. My Mom has hearing problems, as do probably some of the other guests, and we thought it would be nice to have an area for talkers as well as the dance floor for everyone else.

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Oh boy @powercropper that was not fun. I’m sure the couple wanted people to mingle hence the lack of tables. But it didn’t work out that way and they were not thinking of the older people there. Not good.

Well, I’m going to be the parent of a 2017 groom! My S and his fiancé came up yesterday and I went with them to look at a venue, they loved it and signed the contract 10/07/2017. It’s an old farm and the wedding is in a beautiful stone building. Beautiful facility and beautiful grounds. The bride wants nice pictures and she will have them. It will be peak color weekend so everything should be beautiful.

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Oops, I posted a “report” about D1’s wedding on the thread I had started about MOB dresses. I’ll go find it and post it here.

One thing different in my case from some others posting here is that I am not involved in the planning of either of my daughters’ weddings this year. Both couples have done all the planning themselves and wanted to. I am paying. So, I am not stressed on the planning aspects (paying is a different story!).

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Sounds like wedding #1 went well. I hope you are able to find the “right” dress for wedding #2. I have boys so can’t relate to kids nixing so many beautiful possible dress choices. Maybe tell her your dress will be a surprise and pick what you like that you feel looks good on you :wink: If I had to go through/order/return so many dresses I’d have dress stress. I commend you for your stamina!

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Here is the “report” I posted within a post I put up on May 25 on my MOB dress thread, about my older daughter (age 29)'s wedding in NYC on May 24 (they live in Cambridge, MA though):

It’s been a whirlwind a two days in NYC, all fabulous, and I’m on my way home but have to go straight to other jobs as soon as I arrive and then be at Harvard at 6 AM tomorrow morning to secure a seat at the graduation and then there are all the celebratory events for that which will take place. So, I am booked very solidly and thought I would drop a note here while on the train now.

D1’s wedding was perfect in every way and just what they wanted. They had a full day and night of events planned in NYC (and had been having a great time for three days in the city leading up to it). I did get the updo because my D wanted that very specifically, even though I prefer my longish hair down. D2 and I had a hair and make up session in the morning with the hair/make up person who did my D2 in her previous Off Broadway show.

The ceremony was at City Hall in NYC. When D1 and her fiancé arrived, I cried. They looked stunning. Radiant. Gorgeous in their attire. Truly, my daughter looked so pretty. She doesn’t typically wear any make up but did for this. She has long hair but had an updo that was very cool in the back, with braiding above the nape of her neck. She wore an ivory silk dress to the knee with ivory shoes (Manolo Blahnik, which is very atypical for her). The flower bouquets were so pretty. They had a photographer who shot photos of them all morning getting ready and then did the ceremony. After the ceremony, we did photo shoots outside. I was so happy that the weather, which had called for showers, didn’t rain at all for the afternoon. After that photo shoot, the couple went on their own with their photographer to Central Park for lots of photos. I spent the time with D2 and her fiancé. Then, we had a celebratory dinner at Margeaux at The Marlton Hotel where the couple was staying. The dinner was in a solarium and kinda felt like being in Europe and not NYC. The food was great and the dinner was lively and meaningful. The couple wanted us to prepare various things for it that had meaning and all these things were shared by each of us, along with champagne toasts and all that. It was delightful. They were so happy. Then we all parted, and the newlyweds had late night reservations to high end sushi place to top off their evening. I don’t really have pictures yet, because they wanted me to not take any since they had a photographer. I couldn’t be happier for my daughter. Tomorrow is the Harvard graduate degree graduation and Friday they are off to several countries in Asia for 2.5 weeks.

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^ @Soozievt, reads like your D1’s wedding was a lovely, intimate, very personal event – so special!
**Felicitations/b to the lovely couple, and hearty congratulations to you!
“When a child finds true love, a parent finds true joy!”

IF you would care to share, I would be interested in the things the couple asked be shared at the wedding dinner – certain memories, topics for toasts, perhaps? I find such personal touches so meaningful.

We are just under two weeks from my son’s wedding to his high school sweetheart – a ten-year relationship! She just finished professional school and this weekend is her commencement. Yesterday was her hooding ceremony and today is the full university commencement at Cornell.

Even though I am “only” mother of groom for this one, I am more involved than I was for D’s wedding in 2013 – she and her husband did all their planning on their own, and for me it was a destination (Boston) wedding.

For this wedding I have taken on a number of assignments and, because it is local (Philly suburbs), we will be having house guests, including my daughter and her family (grandson who is turning one the day after the wedding), staying at our house.
We joke that the wedding is actually a “pre-party” for his first birthday celebration, LOL!

For D’s wedding, all we had to do was get to Boston and make a toast at the reception (although we did host a morning-after breakfast – but that was easy, fully handled by the hotel in a private dining room).

For this wedding I have taken on some details such as flowers, table and escort cards, etc. Fun for me and eases the burden on the mother of the bride.

We are also hosting a rehearsal dinner for about 45 people, numerous out-of-town guests included.

The big challenge for me is to get my house and grounds spiffed up. The groomsmen, etc. will be getting ready at our house and the second photographer will be documenting that process. (The main photographer will be at the brides’ parents’ house.)
I suspect baby toys will make it into a few of our photos! :wink:

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@JEM Thanks. Great quote about a parent finding joy when their kids find true love. I am thrilled for both my daughters and I love both their partners!

Your son’s wedding sounds like it is going to be very special. It is neat you have a role to play and how it is all in your home area since both kids grew up there. That’s not the case for either of my kids. Very cute about grandson’s pre-birthday celebration. You all will have lots to celebrate with the wedding, graduation, and first birthday! All happy times. My past week was like that (but no babies yet!).

I suppose I could share what D1/spouse wanted me, D2 and her fiancé to prepare and bring to the dinner celebration (though we only had 36 hours notice and I was about to travel and D2 had her opening night and was barely home). D2 and I had planned to prepare toasts anyway on our own and basically the third item of D1’s request list coincided with that. So, all three of us prepared (separately) the following requests from the wedding couple:

I could not get through any of my three items aloud without crying. I typed up in a nice presentation the first and third item (the third was a full toast to the couple).

So, these were shared throughout the dinner celebration from each of us. Everyone enjoyed and the couple seemed so happy with it all. Other things were spontaneously discussed such as D2 asked the newlyweds places they hope to travel to some day (each is very well travelled and enjoys it a lot). At the moment I am forgetting some other interesting probing questions that D2 brought up.

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Out of town and can’t wIt to read the most recent wedding story by Sooz!

Big congrats on your family engagement Deb!!! The venue sounds beautiful!

Three weeks from last night for our son’s wedding! Yikes!

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Thought of two more positive things I experienced at the wedding and reception last night. The wedding ceremony program notes mentioned that the bride and groom had picked out their favorite hymns to be played before the wedding began. It was peaceful background music to some, but for me it was a blessing to hear some of my own favorite hymns being played. Most young folks, even in the church, have turned away from traditional hymns, so it was a delight to know this was an important detail for the bride and groom.

At the reception, the bride and groom danced the first dance, followed by the bride and her father. Both songs were sentimental and sappy, not very memorable, and the dancing was super minimal. Couples just slowly went around in circles.

The third dance was the groom and his mother, and the music was a waltz from the Sound of Music. This couple waltzed, did it well, and garnered tears all around the room. I can’t believe I never thought of using music from such a favorite movie for a wedding dance.

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^^^

@soozievt, THANKS so much for sharing those wonderful details! LOVE, love, love those ideas! It is clear from what you shared that your D1 and spouse have a very thoughtful, meaningful relationship and have brought that to their marriage. Please tell them that good karma is being sent their way from PA – and, I am sure, a LOT of other places!

H and I are working on our “duet” rehearsal dinner toast – we are working independently but will then do a “merge” of our ideas, editing to keep it short enough. I finished my draft a week or so ago and, like you, got tears in my eyes when reading it. I had enough data from this couple’s early days that I could share some anecdotes relating to the kind of people they are and relationship they have.

Terrific that your Ds and their partners all get along so well. I can feel the love from PA!

Blessings to all of you – such a heart overflowing joy you must be experiencing!

And again, thanks for sharing. Your newlyweds seem to have made a wonderful start on their marital journey.

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Thanks for the kind and warm thoughts, @JEM. It doesn’t seem that long ago when we were both talking college admissions. Now, we both have married or soon-to-be married kids. You even have a grand baby! All wonderful stuff! So happy for your children (now adults) and you and hubby too!

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Great hugs to all of you! My kids seem to be on the extended track.

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@soozievt, l lost track of time and didn’t realize until now that your D1’s wedding occurred. Congratulations to D1 and her husband and to you. Wishing them the best for a lifetime of sharing.

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Today I was driving home from out of town and was listening to some music. D2 and I were talking about S’s upcoming wedding. FDIL has next to no relationship with her father who cheated and divorced her sweet mom like 15 years ago. He has decided not to attend the wedding at all. The plan was never for him to walk her down the aisle or anything but to be polite (sort of!) they were inviting him to attend.

As I was listening to the music (and driving!) I starting tearing up and crying that she will not have a Father/Daughter dance. It just hit me - how awful to have a dad who has not been interested in having a relationship with you! Just broke me up! I’m thinking she will dance with her mom - who has been there for her every step of the way.

It was just one of those moments - and one small thing - but man, did my emotions kick in!!! :slight_smile:

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@abasket, my own situation with my dad was much like your FDIL. It is his loss, although I have never moved completely past the pain my dad caused, nor has my brother and we are both eligible for AARP now! My D’s engagement announcement was in the local paper yesterday and my dad is not mentioned along with the other grandparents. My niece graduated from a very small hs recently and the parents and grandparents were announced as they received their diplomas, but not my dad. He’s been dead since 2005, but was out of our lives long before then. Having the support of your family and the compassion you are showing will be a treasure for her.