oh and @happy1 have a wonderful wedding week-end and enjoy every minute of this special time together!!
I ask my daughter yesterday if they still planned on having a big party. She did wear her original dress and did get great pictures. She said the longer it goes where they can’t plan, the more she thinks they won’t end up having another party.
To be honest, if we could cancel and get a full refund (or even close to one) from the venue and the vendors who were paid in full (remember, our wedding was cancelled due to Covid 9 days before the wedding date), I think the kids might opt out but we can’t, so they won’t. She wore her dress, he wore his new tux, they have amazing pictures so there would be no missing out on that part of it.
I wouldn’t mind if son’s ceremony in October was it if we were there, but no family will be there . So, we have to go with the flow. They want a ceremony and party with family and friends, just not possible now with no family local and many friends from all over the place they want to celebrate with. They(particularly FDIL) are very conscious of not wanting to host and bring different people together from all over the place. We’ll see.
Have a wonderful wedding weekend, @happy1 ! Very exciting!
So, for the 6th ? Time, my childhood friend asked if I was going to .his DD’s engagement party in Phila.( quite soon). I repeated I would not be there. I was happy to,help,with the menu and the design of invitations, I reiterated that gift of double Chai ($36) was what I was sending to a couple I didn’t know. He expected $100. That is what I send to wedding invites that I will not attend. I still expect that invite, so why would I send $100 now?
Am I missing something?
@bookworm Wow, I don’t even know what to say. Your friend sounds demanding and kind of clueless. I can’t even imagine telling someone they “expected $100.”. Do you think this relationship is worth this much effort on your part?
Well, this was a bad week for ds and fdil.
Her engagement ring was lost/stolen (don’t ask), and then they got the save-the-date cards, which caused fdil to melt down because it is starting to really feel like the wedding next spring won’t happen like they want. In good news, the engagement ring was a placeholder while they await the real one to be designed by the jeweler, but it was her grandmother’s so had a lot of sentimental value. And after I talked ds down via text, he said that they had a loooong talk and both got to vent and started thinking what they wanted in a Plan B and Plan C. I almost cried reading how they talked and laughed and worked through their frustrations and sadness.
ETA: I told him how we don’t care at all about a big wedding and how so many of you have had to punt and ended up loving the more intimate wedding.
Sevmom, I’ve posted about him before. He is clueless. Although we only renewed our childhood friendship a few years ago, I suspect he is lonely. We have talked MANY times why I didn’t invite him to my sons engagement party nor wedding, as he wasn’t a friend of my son’s, I actually said it would have felt like a gift grab. He would have gone. I explained that only family members were on my invite list, which is why I hosted a local party. The party was not for my friends, but for the people that knew my son growing up. ( all but two of these young men flew for the wedding, the exceptions being a very pregnant wife, and another in Japan.)
The engagement party was perfect, I had spent 4 months preparing a photo book of son’s life, the relatives and friends saw themselves in this book. At the reception, there was a table for childhood friends, college friends, and another for grad school friends, plus their wives/SOs. Lots of commingling by the wedding.
I’d say, ignore this fellow when he asks again. Have a change of topic ready.
Of course, I don’t know if that’s possible. And he may think the offer to help plan means more than it does. At the least, it continues the conversation.
Good luck.
@“Youdon’tsay” my S and DIL moved to Plan B (actually moving up their date) when they hit the point that they just didn’t want to live with the uncertainty anymore. It is so very stressful, and having to go back to people who got Save the Dates and update them with new plans that exclude them, or “we think it’s a go but things could change” communications is not fun. If your S and FDIL make the difficult decision to put a Plan B in place, please assure them that you know from our stories here that their wedding can still be magical and special and perfect!!!
I think ds will have a more difficult time with a smaller wedding than FDIL. She has a tiny family, and ours is huge so many more of our side will “lose out.” I don’t care, but I know ds always envisioned a big family wedding with all the little cousins running around just like the ones he grew up going to. But, really, they don’t have a large window for rescheduling. They are moving four months after the wedding to wherever she ends up in law school, so rescheduling for just two months later doesn’t seem worth it, ya know? Likely not much will have changed in two months.
That is a tough week @“Youdon’tsay” - I hope somehow the ring shows up. Or they can just move past it. Sending extra good vibes their way.
Went to my first wedding in Covid times today. I spoke of it here before - my goddaughter. Original date was May 9 - they did officially get married then with their parents. Today was a vow renewal and a reception. I opted to only attend the Catholic church service.
I was pleased to see everyone wearing masks walking in church. Great! Ohio has mandatory public masks in or out unless out you are exercising or at good distance. Until I noticed that once they got in their pew 80+% of people took them off for the whole service!!! Ugh. I would say there were 150 in attendance. I was pleased to see the photographers stayed masked all ceremony. I wanted to tell them “THANK YOU GOOD JOB”.
It was a nice “vow renewal” though honestly seemed exactly the same as a regular service. And i have to say the vibe I was getting from the bride/groom and families was just not the usual excitement and happiness. It felt a little like they were going through the motions??? I have to wonder if what they really wanted was the reception. I’ll never know because we didn’t go! No way was I doing an indoor reception with at least 150 and many of them not even mid-20’s.
@abasket Maybe they wanted the religious ceremony And the pictures in a church, and the traditional vows. And the reception!
My niece got married three times and I think some of the people probably did think the third time was a little much. They planned the first one for just family in Texas because they wanted to get started on the immigration paperwork for her finance, so his family flew down. Everyone showed but the officiant. So they got ‘married’ with her stepfather doing the vows, but then went to the courthouse 2 days later to make it legal, which is what they wanted and needed (paperwork).
They then had a wedding and reception in WA state in June. They consider June their anniversary date, but legally it is the day they went to the court house, which of all the dates is the one they DON’T consider their wedding date.
I just saw an IG post from the hair and make-up person for my daughter’s wedding. She is at a resort 1.5 hours from here doing a wedding. She posted a picture of the reception table settings; doesn’t look like a small wedding! It was hard to tell as it was only one photo in her story, but it was to be a seated dinner, with all the typical table decorations and place settings. A long table with at least 20 seats, and several rounds of 8 could be seen. I know this room can seat 250 and is 6,000 sq feet.
I wish the bride and groom well and hope I don’t hear on the news that there was an outbreak there.
It is surprising to me that people right now would even consider an event of those sizes (150-250 people). Friends and family that maybe haven’t seen each other in awhile are likely to relax social distancing standards. Tables for 8 and 20 people seems like a recipe for possible problems. Just because maybe you can do something, doesn’t always mean you should!
@sevmom unless this has changed…Ohio allows up to 300 at indoor events with social distancing.
There is no way I would attend a wedding that size right now.
@“Youdon’tsay”, I’m so sorry to hear about the challenges your S and FDIL have faced this week. Hope they find the ring. I also noticed that the decision to even talk about Plans B and C was pretty difficult, even early on this spring. It takes time to get their heads around the idea that the wedding won’t be what they thought it would be. Regardless of what they decide, as long as they come to it together, all will be fine.
I know they’re moving to FDIL’s as yet undetermined law school location that fall, but the winter break during 1st year of law school might be a great time for a party, even if the marriage ceremony takes place before then!
As for those large® parties - if I was the host, the anxiety that someone would get sick would be unbearable and I would be hard-pressed to enjoy the wedding. It was hard enough for me waiting out the two weeks after our 16 person wedding and that was all outside and I was pretty sure that all involved had taken precautions prior to the wedding. @abasket, I would have felt the same discomfort as you did when I saw how people behaved inside the church.
Agree. I knew Ohio seemed to be allowing up to 300 but I wouldn’t plan or attend anything anywhere near that size right now. My sister attended an only 40 ish person indoor birthday party in mid June. She said people did not really social distance (multiple households at tables, for instance). No thanks.
Son and FDIL want to invite around 140-150 but will wait until it seems safer, even if it means waiting quite awhile. That is why they will just go with a very small outdoor ceremony, no reception , and with just a few local friends in October. They just don’t want to feel responsible for people gathering and traveling from all over for an event right now.
Sorry about the ring, @“Youdon’tsay” . Son has an insurance rider on his fiancee’s engagement ring. Maybe that is something your son can consider, if he hasn’t already done so. (depending on the value of the new ring).
My last comment on the wedding I attended yesterday and I’ll put it to bed for more positive wedding comments!!! 
Yes, it is true that Ohio has the 300 limit - doesn’t mean it’s really a good idea though, right?! I’m seeing some photos and short videos pop up of the reception last night on social media. Of the pics I’ve seen ONE person has a mask on. Everyone else, not necessarily seated at their table and unmasked. Who is masked? The wait staff. To me it is rude to succumb the wait staff to your notion that you can’t have a good time with a mask on.
But I guess our country as a whole has already shown in many places that there are not “we” decisions - just “me” decisions!!