2016 and beyond wedding moms and dads (Part 1)

Congrats, @sevmom. Love that it did feel personal.

You don’t need to call the party a wedding reception. It’s just as fine to say an anniversary celebration or just a party. Eg, earlier, the thread talked about a NYE party that brings together loved ones. (Now that we’re closer to the end of the year, I can see why people are dropping that idea.)

All the usual ideas and “rules” are just out the window, with covid. I do think that, when the time comes, guests will be flexible about how they interpret a party, as long as we make it about bringing loved ones together.

@sevmom My D is hoping to have a larger party down the road – our plan was to word the invitations to say people were being invited to “celebrate the wedding” so hopefully that will be clear enough. I think everyone who will be invited to what we now call “the big party” will know they were married this summer.

Agree with @lookingforward that the rules are out the window. With covid disrupting plans everyone should do what they are comfortable with and what will make them happy. If someone doesn’t want to come to a delayed celebration then he/she can politely decline the invitation.

In our case it won’t be the guests who might have second thoughts, it’s the couple. But we’ll see as we move further into the winter.

Yes, @lookingforward , I think the idea for them is about getting people together, very close family and friends that were not there this time. They really, really missed that and were sad about that… No reception at all this time. No family at all, no pictures with parents or siblings. If I had to guess, because of that they will still want to do something later , even if it ends up not being as big as they originally envisioned. But as I said, you never know. The important thing is that they are married and they are happy. And a good party down the line with close family and friends would just be icing on the cake!

I hope that friends and relatives will be supportive of anyone who delays their reception until it’s safe for all to attend. If they want to include some sort of church ceremony beforehand, maybe their pastor would give a blessing for the marriage rather than reenact the vows. That should make even the most curmudgeonly guest happy.

D1 is engaged! Thankfully they are looking at Sept/Oct 2021 so we are planning as normal. Fingers crossed. I was afraid they would shoot for this summer which would be a very stressful timeline IMO and terrified me - and this was without the very real possibility that COVID is still a major factor for travel, etc. Plus I think it would have been hard to coordinate a venue - we know several weddings planned for next summer that are reschedules from this year.

Congratulations @scmom12 ! Very exciting news!

@sevmom I’m so glad you were able to participate by Zoom and that it worked out so well! Congrats!!

Thanks so much @Embracethemess When I had my sons, I certainly never envisioned I would be watching one of them get married on zoom and not being there in person. But, I also never envisioned weddings in the middle of a worldwide pandemic either! So, there’s that. And as they say, all’s well that ends well!

@scmom12, congratulations! Our mantra here has been, “it will be what it will be…and it will be wonderful, whatever it is!” Welcome to our world!!!

Sometimes, a thread (here or elsewhere) just becomes a lovely, long running conversation. That’s what I like so much about this one. We’re a bunch of parents who feel comfortable sharing our concerns and hopes. Through the mutual support, most everything has gotten to, “…it will be what it will be…and it will be wonderful, whatever it is!”

Lol, take a pair of comfy shoes. Most of all: hire a great Day Of Coordinator. They don’t need to be expensive, but need to have strong organizational skills and an inherent sense of the many bits and pieces, a can-do attitude (matched by a “will do” attitude.)

Something came up in the last 24 hours about flower arrangements on the table. The florist mentioned to me he’d stick around to move the tall, heavy arrangements by the vows to the dinner table. Um, no. The table flowers will be low, rectangular arrangements only. I didn’t say anything to him, but spoke with D1 and we agreed the DoC can deal with him on that, politely suggest where else to put those. This may seem small, but it means neither D1 nor I need to get involved with that, on the wedding day.

All along, I’ve been wondering what my fuller role (or do I mean presence?) should be. D1 is 29, has managed 85% of this on her own, should be able to celebrate parts of this without me. Eg, she and her 2 BMs, D2/MOH, and one out of towner will go to dinner on Friday without me. Fine. Long time friendships, a time for them to be them. Now I learned the air bnb has 3 bedrooms, maybe not room for me and D2. I think it’s right that she has these special friends with her. Right that she include her out of town friend who otherwise would need to get her own room. Our home is only a mile away. I can spend time with them on Friday, before they go to dinner, then show up at 9am Sat for my make-up and hair, and spend that day with them. (D2 can make her own case for sleeping on a couch or whatever.)

I get along so well with these gals, I won’t feel out of place or set aside. I just wonder if others have done it this way.

@lookingforward it’s going to be a terrific wedding!

When our DD got married, we used a house at the end of our road for the bride and her friends (we live in a lake community so it was perfect…and our neighbors who own the place were away). There were 8 girls there for three days before the wedding…it was sort of their bachelorette party. The MOH planned a bunch of things for them all to do. I stocked the house with food.

I live on the same road…three houses away. I felt these young women deserved this time together without me.

I did arrange for their pedicures and brought a continental breakfast to the nail salon, and stayed for a while.

I joined them all the morning of the wedding for make up, hair, brunch and getting dressed. By that time, we were all staying in the hotel across from the venue. We had so much fun!

Whatever works for your family is what you should do. Cherish the memories that are made in whatever way they are made…and take pictures!

Can’t wait to hear about this wonderful event!

This was a fun coincidence- I have been chatting regularly with a lady in England that I have been playing Words with Friends with for years. I told her that my son got married on Saturday and that we had watched via zoom. She said her nephew also got married on Saturday and she also watched via zoom! She said despite it being 15 people in masks, it was a very moving ceremony. The current plan is to have a reception later next year. It’s a small world!

Beautiful day for the family wedding that’s going on in another state without us. I would LOVE to be there, but trying to be responsible. In many states this wedding might not even be allowed.
I hope it doesn’t turn out to be a super spreader event.

FDIL’s mom is all excited by the vaccine news and hopes we can have a “full-size wedding” after all. I’m not counting on that at all.

@“Youdon’tsay” will she require that all guests show proof they have had the vaccine??‍♀️

No way everyone could get it by mid-March.

My niece is getting married in May. Hoping we will be able to get the vaccine by then.

I don’t think it would be necessary to require everyone to have the vaccine. As long as you have the vaccine, it is not that important others have it.

@oldfort true…anyone who really doesn’t want to catch Covid would have the vaccine if available. Because you just can’t count on the rest of the crowd to do what they are supposed to do.

I hope your nieces wedding happens without a hitch.

Our nephew’s postponed wedding is scheduled for July 4 weekend. Only one small problem. Neither set of parents will be able to get here unless things change. One set lives in Australia (Quantas has said no flights to the US in 2021) and the other family lives in India. My sister in law told us not to make hotel reservations yet. We hope we will be able to celebrate with them.

@thumper1 - things could change with the vaccine.