Now I want a piece of wedding cake. 
Just a thought… and I am not even sure if this is accurate information. A kosher bakery may be able to make you a great cake with no dairy. It will look and taste like any cake.
Having the groom’s cake be safe for your allergy folks is a great idea. I just meant find ways to not have to pay tons more for a large wedding cake that was allergy safe. Letting family know beforehand that the grooms cake is allergy safe would be a good idea.
Our church has a wedding coordinator that works with bride to organize things at church. Mostly being sure rules are followed about stuff brought in, what can be moved around, what can be decorated and how, etc. Also runs rehearsal and wedding if needed. But just stuff involving church. Not a planner in sense most might think of. Now she was the only person that helped us. We did not have a real wedding planner.
I haven’t heard of church affiliated wedding planners! - but sort of makes sense especially if the church has a reception space too. And a fee of $250 - depending what they do - might be a bargain. Unless they are paid $250 just to recite the church “rules”!!!
^^Our church wedding director does put in a number of hours meeting with couple, attending/running rehearsal, running the wedding from being there to be sure flowers delivered and placed, overseeing decorations to the timing of music, seating, when to walk, etc. to getting things wrapped up afterwards after everyone is gone. Again, I’ve never thought of her as a wedding planner - the most involved she is in the wedding outside the church is recommending florists that have worked with church in past.
I check our church wedding site and you could get to $1000 IF all the fees for those involved (pastor, organist, wedding coordinator, sexton) are included. We paid organist and musicians separately, “paid” the minister directly (suggested honorarium), The only thing I definitely remember paying church directly for was sexton fee for maintenance/janitorial work and coordinator. Just checked - her fee is $200.
Actually there are a number of rules - some you think would not be necessary, but you should hear stories of past weddings and what people have tried to do. And of course sometimes the bride or groom may be from another denomination or tradition where different things are allowed.
@abasket I have no problem paying the stipend of $250 for Megan’s services; I imagine Megan is on PT salary with the Cathedral. However I wish DD would have invited me to be at this initial meeting yesterday.
One can have their own wedding planner in addition to the church one, which for a very large wedding or one where there are people that like hiring people to do all this stuff…
From what I gather (and from reading the 10 page wedding guidelines), Megan will be responsible for tracking that the couple have all the required marriage preparation done, makes sure the wedding liturgy and activities follow Church guidelines (esp if priest is not Cathedral priest), and is present for the wedding day.
I am personal friends with the wedding coordinator at my Catholic Church in the same Diocese, so I have a call in to her.
Details are important, big or smaller wedding. Planning too! I appreciate the help on this thread!
The fact is that many if not most wedding cake suppliers don’t use real butter in the first place. This is what they use:
http://thebakerscupboard.com/products/hi-ratio-shortening-3-lbs
A lot of them use doctored mixes as their basis for the cake also. Genuine scratch bakers who actually use all butter are rare. Alpine is used to make not only the cake itself, but the “buttercream.”
That is the kind of thing that most people are accustomed to eating in a wedding cake, and they have no idea. And I’m not talking schlock supermarket cakes, either.
As for goat’s milk, ironically, Rose Levy Beranbaum of The Cake Bible says that it is the IDEAL milk for a cake, and you should use it if you are lucky enough to have it! 
I can think of lots of great cake alternatives that would have fabulous flavor and no dairy. Goat cheese cheese cake. Cake made with Alpine layered with real raspberry puree or a very tart fruity jam covered with a dark chocolate butter glaze. (White and milk chocolate unfortunately contain milk, but dark doesn’t.) Classic rolled fondant has no dairy, and it can be flavored with lemon juice so it isn’t as sweet, and paired with a tart fruit filling.
Anyway, without venturing into the more esoteric alternatives, all you need to do is find a scratch baker that will be willing to use goat’s milk and Alpine (or another shortening) and understand that the allergy issue is serious. (Bakers often combine leftover icings.) And BTW, chocolate cake does not typically contain milk, so if you go for that the goat’s milk is not as issue.
BTW, lovely dress, but I notice that those dresses on the website really only look great on women who have particularly small waists for their size. I think your D should consider trying to find something in the same style in the US, preferably not something she’s going to blow her budget on. But it is lovely.
My D and her fiancee also faced the allergen issue. She is vegan and gluten free and originally wanted all wedding food to fit this! But that quickly fell to the wayside due to cost and the fact that it is silly to serve guests extra expensive food that they won’t even like. The meal is going to be a pasta buffet with choice of regular or gf/vegan pasta and several sauces in different categories.
They are getting their own small wedding cake to cut. They’ll also ask on the wedding website if other guests have allergies so we can accommodate. For the main cakes we are doing sheet cakes from CostCo. Personally I love CostCo cakes!
I would suggest setting a budget ASAP even it it’s only temporary. Start on the smaller side of what you’re comfortable with, because it will go up! Having a budget has really made my D and her fiance decide where they want the money to go.
We have been looking at venues and talking with various caterers. Many caterers would do the whole wedding planning - from renting a venue to finding a band. But what I have found is they want to charge 18%+ on the total cost of wedding, which could be a lot more expensive than what a wedding planner would cost (5k-10k). I have told the caterers that I would pay a fix fee for their services outside of food and alcohol. As the MOB I don’t want to be at the venue the day before to supervise set up of a tent or take delivery of furniture, so I will need to hire someone to coordinate.
"The fact is that many if not most wedding cake suppliers don’t use real butter in the first place.
A lot of them use doctored mixes as their basis for the cake also. Genuine scratch bakers who actually use all butter are rare. Alpine is used to make not only the cake itself, but the “buttercream.”
That is the kind of thing that most people are accustomed to eating in a wedding cake, and they have no idea. And I’m not talking schlock supermarket cakes, either."
This is very true and why I am a bakery snob and only buy from 2 places, one local and one an hour away. Usually I just bake from scratch myself. Most of the rest isn’t worth the calories IMO.
I just realized that chocolate butter glaze has dairy. Duh! Better go with a dark chocolate shell, instead.
Have good news to report here. H’s job seems more secure at the end of business today, although the RIF in two weeks could be disastrous for us. I just envision everyone going for cover - this assignment H was able to attach himself to probably will save his job if his job was going to be on the chopping block.
DD and I stopped at a jeweler I do a lot of business at - he is a small business person, and therefore can orders what we want and give us a price close to wholesale, saving $$ off retail cost. So DD has an idea of what is available and ball park costs for wedding bands - so as soon as grandma’s ring is looked at by DD’s BF and if he wants to have that be her engagement ring, then they can go to this jeweler and figure the wedding bands they want.
Then DD and I went to David’s Bridal. We were so lucky - got probably the senior consultant. All wedding dresses at David’s are under $2K. Another gal and her mom were a few minutes behind us coming into the store. DD looked amazing in several dresses. Very good/relaxed but thorough appointment. They have a veil that will be dynamite with the dress she wants (from Italian designer). Turns out the Oleg Cassini dress that was on sale that looked amazing on her was not what she envisioned (can’t compete with the Italian dress), and the dress with the look she wanted didn’t compare. Cost wise, I figure the dress she wants is going to cost her $800 more than our #1 pick today but only because it was on sale. But I was able to take pictures of the dresses/veils she tried on that looked really good on her. The consultant, after learning about the dress DD wanted and knowing the designer/line, was encouraging for us to get the dress she wanted, and the measurements she could provide would be good for having that dress ordered.
I also saw a great MOB dress (consultant noted the particulars in our file). We know DD2 will be the driving force with the bridesmaid dress choice - so as soon as we can get her in the store to look. I believe all the men/attendants will be renting suits or possibly buying - but will see to that after we have the gals taken care of. I believe David’s merchandise/colors coordinates with Men’s Warehouse.
With every wedding with a budget, some things are more important than others.
I did find out there probably is room to negotiate the church reception facility. What I had in mind is exactly what our church charges (in same Diocese). We know the priest pretty well (and will get to know him even better as time goes on).
This was the 2nd time I was in the church DD will be married in - it is gorgeous. Sad that in city life, have to have a security guard during church/activities there - a priest after Mass one day got mugged in front of the church! Specifically having the church hall so people don’t need to drive and then find parking at another place (church has a sizable parking lot and there is street parking too). At H and my wedding, we took photos after wedding/reception line. However the open bar and snacks before dinner was a great draw for people getting to dinner venue (about 20 minutes drive from church). From feedback, all had a great time.
Funny, my mom always said dad never looked over a bar bill, but always scrutinized a dinner check. In WI, much business is done at end of day at corner pub.
I know for table linens, our church bought from a local wholesale kitchen supplier (install and supply commercial kitchens). They have both long tables and round tables that seat 8 (the long tables can seat more in a room). We will see what the church in the other city has for linens. May be worth buying, then donating to church if they don’t have the similar kind of stuff - these table linens wash up really nicely and look nice.
Veering off the current topic…I’m on my way to NYC for D2’s wedding weekend! The actual wedding is tomorrow. Later today is a pre-wedding soiree for family and the wedding party hosted by the groom’s parents. it is thrilling that this time is here finally! And the weather for tomorrow sounds like sheer perfection. Last night was D’s bachelorette party. D and her fiancé did all the wedding work themselves. I’m just paying. LOL. D had asked me to make the guest book (I have made books by scratch before) and I did. Was up late last night getting ready and wrote my toast. I am such a sap that I know I will cry when I read it as I did when I did this for D1’s wedding recently. My toast is at today’s gathering. Really thrilled for the kids!
All the best, @soozievt! May you enjoy every minute:)
@soozievt , go ahead be a sap. A proud, happy, mamma sap!!! Best wishes!
Congrats. @soozievt! All the best to you and your family!
Got some great news last PM; the final kidinva has set a wedding date June 3, 2017.
Congrats to the about-to-be MILs and FILs!!