Congrats to soozievt and mominva!
Soozievt - have a wonderful time! Mominva - congratulations!
Looking back through this thread, I see another mom and DD concerned about wedding party.
D had twin room-mates last year who are still in college, and are good friends. She has two good friends, one from HS - one is in OOS med school and another is OOS optometry school. I forget who the additional one is. In addition to sister and current room-mate (who I consider solid choices), it may be that she asks the others in a very nice way that she would like to honor them, but also doesn’t want to interfere with studies or be a big expense for travel, dress, etc. I think we need to have her sister help choose a bridesmaid dress and figure what costs would be for bridesmaids before asking. Make it easy to bow out if they want to bow out. The groomsmen will match what we have for bridesmaids.
If I was a young lady/friend, I would be fine not being a bridesmaid but IDK. I am told people don’t get assigned to jobs like being at the guest book, or other things. Since we are having a church program, certainly we could honor some - bringing up the eucharistic gifts. Will get some ideas from church wedding planner too.
My daughter was asked to be in a wedding next saturday more than 2 years ago. She’s in 2 other wedding this year too, so I kept asking her to find out about the dress. She asked and asked, but this bride kept stalling. Finally it came out the daughter was not in the wedding. I was thrilled! My daughter is in school, it would have meant missing at least a day, driving 2+ hours to the airport, flying to California, dress, shoes, hoopla. She couldn’t really afford it. She still thought she’d go to the wedding, but I never did. She’s not going.
She was in one wedding this summer and has one at Christmas. She keeps forgetting about that one, and was making plans to travel near Christmas and I asked her what about the wedding? Oh yes. She forgot.
I’d encourage your daughter not to have 6 bridesmaids, most who are in school, especially if the wedding during the school year. Expenses, time, travel are hard to figure out for students.
D1 is going to have 5 bridesmaids, her sister the maid of honor, 3 best friends from college (sorority sisters and all), best friend from high school, she was also D1’s roommate in NYC for 4 years.
We are making some progress with the wedding planning - hired a wedding planner, set the date and most likely the venue. The engagement party is in 3 weeks.
I feel a bit drained to just getting to this point. I think I am going to become a professional wedding planner by the time I am done, kind of like being a pseudo college application expert after putting 2 kids through school.
D2 said her wedding someday would be a lot simpler and less planning. I can only hope for that.
Niece just got married this weekend, outdoor kind of informal, but traditional format. She had 4 bridesmaids including her maid of honor (her sister). They all processed down the aisle, but only the maid of honor stood up by bride - the others sat with groomsmen who walked them in. They all had the same color blue dresses, but obviously had bought them separate since they were all styles and fabrics. It was lovely.
Went to a wedding and reception last night. Just before it ended, the bride’s mom (one of my buddies) asked if my phone had internet reception and I confirmed and offered it. She was frantically trying to find a hotel room–for the bridal couple for their wedding night.
I sweet-talked the manager to give them a nice ocean view room with a king size bed at a very nice hotel for a good price ($185 instead of $210). We drove the couple from the reception to the hotel and checked them in–they were exhausted and dead on their feet.
I was just surprised no one had booked a room until just before the reception ended. It was a very touching wedding and great reception. I guess neither of the newlyweds are planners, tho they are adorable together.
The bride couldn’t wait to get out of her strapless gown that she admitted was terribly uncomfortable, tho she looked stunning in it.
I agree with you @twoinanddone - the twins are in her same city, so if the dress is affordable and they want to be in the wedding. The other two that are in school in other states, although the wedding is in July, I think the med student will be busy. Not sure what about the other. This DD needs some social guidance - don’t know if she will take it or not, but does handle things better when she knows she needs to.
I’m finding it’s best to forward links, lots of links, of things I find in my role of ‘internet researcher extraordinaire’.
I usually have email drafts by topic - venues, bands, dresses - that I pass along when there are 4-6 entries.
When they are ready, the couple can look through the offerings and reach out as they see fit, and I’m not pushing any preference.
So far, for my 3, my findings produced 2 venues, 1 caterer, 1 event feature (photo booth), 1 dress, and leads to bands.
We are T down and counting… 30 days or so out. DS and FDIL do not have a wedding party - no bridesmaids or groomsmen, since they decided that is exclusionary. Plus, friends don’t have to buy dresses they’ll likely never wear again!!! I am still not sure all the details, and I am loving being ignorant about it - after planning DD’s last year I am very happy not to be planning this one.
@anxiousmom, my daughter and her fiance don’t plan to have a wedding party, either. I’m sure the ugly dress industry will survive without them.
D and fiance will both have four attendants. Luckily her sis is MOH so she didn’t have to choose between her two closest friends. S18 will be a groomsman which is nice. I can see the wisdom of dropping the wedding party tradition, but luckily it seems to be working out for D. We’re paying for the bridesmaid dresses, but it won’t be too costly. Since D is not doing traditional dresses, she and her dance partner are able to loan out a good bit. They will be coordinated but not identical. I’m not quite sure what is going on with the “bridesman” or groomsmen yet.
@SOSConcern, you’re way ahead of me on the MOB dress. I have browsed a bit online but I really have no idea what kind of dress I want.
@soozievt, I hope you will let us know how things went. Congrats to the happy couple!
My daughter has asked her bridesmaids to wear black dresses. I think they’re all the same length. I think one of the young ladies will have to buy one, but the others already had something. No garter toss, no bouquet throw. A cupcake instead of cake. Everything’s changed!
My daughter is also having her bridesmaids wear black dresses. She chose the color (and length I think - anything around the knee) and they can pick the style. All women need a black dress, so it’s highly likely that the dresses will be worn again. The men will wear black suits instead of rented tuxes. Also no garter toss or bouquet toss. She has opted for lots of simplifications - and I am so happy!
D1 asked if I wanted to wear black. I said no. I am not going to wear black to my daughter’s wedding. I would consider maroon, dark blue, red, but not black.
I love the idea of bridesmaids wearing their own black dresses. How sensible!
Ok, can we talk about wedding favors?
The wedding will be mid November so we really need to get these ordered now already. The budget for this is small. Her sister did cute heart shaped bottle openers so that idea is out. Any other ideas?
My D was the MOH in a wedding last week. The bride asked all her attendants to wear a navy blue dress–not floor length. She asked D to wear a navy blue floor-length dress. They all looked beautiful and have dresses they can wear again.
Have you considered just skipping favors? I don’t think guests would mind.
If you truly want to do something, I’m all for something edible. (this comes from someone currently in purging mode who doesn’t want knick knacks and momentos entering the house)
I am also for skipping party favors.