About 10 photos down in this link is a photo of a bride and her attendants who are all wearing different dresses along a theme, as some other posters here have mentioned in their kids’ weddings. I think the look is great and it’s nice that each woman can wear a style that is suitable to her: http://andrewfranciosa.com/2016/canfield-casino-wedding/
DD has been in a number of weddings…and we have attended a bunch. Only one wedding in recent years had everyone in the same identical dress. The others gave the bridesmaids a fabric swatch color. They had to pick a dress that color…and the bride could say no if she didn’t really feel it would work. My kid found all of her dresses online for a fraction of the cost of the stores. Win win!
Years (and years) ago, a woman I worked with was in a wedding party. She received a bolt of cloth (all the bridesmaids did) and had a dress made in a style that she picked. I think there were some constraints - no shoulders showing and needed to be long. But other than that she could do as she pleased. I thought that was an interesting option.
My nephew’s wedding featured 3 bridesmaids that used the same exact material, but got to choose their own style. It helped so much, since nephew’s younger sister got to pick a style that was fashionable but more age appropriate. It was the first time I had seen non-matching dresses for bridesmaids, and I really liked how each bridesmaid could look their best, show off their best features, and still have a unifying theme with the same color material.
Went to a family wedding this weekend that was lovely. The bride and groom each had one attendant–the bride had her brother as man of honor and the groom had his brother as best man. Each brother walked down the aisle with his mother. It worked out fine.
When I got married (40 years ago!), our only attendants were my sister and my husband’s brother, both of whom wore whatever they felt like wearing.
I suppose that if I had worn a short dress, I might have asked my sister not to wear a long one, but beyond that, I don’t see any reason to put constraints on the attire of a sole attendant.
D was pretty flexible on styles/colors for her 5 attendants. The girls decided on the same style, same color and it took them a whole 20 minutes. This was a low drama group for sure. And they all looked great!
@doschicos, beautiful pictures!
DD and fiance’ (ring will probably be on her finger after sizing, cleaning, polishing - getting from jeweler Saturday) will be at our house again Friday night. Yah! They meet with their celebrant priest on Friday (first time to meet for FSIL), so maybe that will seal the ‘official’ engagement. DD found out yesterday she has a firm RN job with the VA hospital, so hope she can start soon (fingerprinting, physical, other processing). Double Yah! The couple has a goal of FSIL getting his reserves unit changed from one state to another and moves into active reserves - we shall see how that progresses…he will be traveling soon to prior state to get it sorted out.
Will be interested to learn about the Friday updating on their information and what they have learned…Also on the Thanksgiving planning, where we meet FSIL’s parents.
H and FSIL ‘bonded’. FSIL is comfortable around me and I am comfortable around FSIL.
Have appt for DD2 (maid of honor) to look at bridesmaid dresses when she is home at the end of the month. Will see what she likes and what DD1 thinks. May go with same color different styles too. Will show DD2 the picture with the different but nice formal dresses that is on this thread.
I’m still curious as to how you define “official” engagement, @SOSConcern. It sounds pretty official to me - weekend at Catholic retreat, ring settled on, SIL talked to your husband, meeting with priest, dress picked out, meeting the SIL’s parents scheduled. So what takes place to make it “official”? :-/
Congrats on your daughter’s job! <:-P
I guess the ring on her finger and them announcing it is official. Just found out a wrinkle. DD was asked to be her cousin’s baby’s godmother in another state for Thanksgiving. Yikes! More to discuss on Friday night.I think we may be delaying or moving up thanksgiving with FSIL’s parents.
The couple has to decide that they are ‘officially’ engaged. For all intents they are engaged. I am fine with official announcement of engagement w/o making announcements of wedding date until their careers are sorted out and they decide for sure on the wedding date. I am not telling OOS relatives until the couple moves forward and decides on announcing.
They are sorting things out.
How official does an engagement announcement have to be?
I always thought that if two people say they’re engaged, they’re engaged.
I considered my kids engaged as soon as they said they had gotten engaged (in both cases, rings were also involved). Congrats then followed. There was no formal announcement beyond that. Word spread.
Oh, I’ll add that no wedding date was set immediately as they had to look into those plans AFTER they got engaged.
Just curious…why do you need a firm wedding date to publicly make known that a couple has gotten engaged? Most newly engaged couples don’t know an exact wedding date prior to the engagement taking place, nor right afterward.
Also…exactly how to you do a formal announcement? In my kids’ cases, they called and told me as soon as they got engaged, and everyone told more people and more people. In one kid’s case, the fiancé even posted a photo on FB showing the moment he popped the question.
The only “formal announcements” were a lot later in the process when they sent out “save the date.”
@SOSConcern …in your D’s case, it sounds like she even selected a wedding gown. My younger D who just got married, selected her wedding gown 11 months after the day they got engaged. My older D just got married and selected her dress about 9 months after they got engaged.
Re engagement announcements:
Our D had told us to expect an engagement several months before it was official – future SIL and she had been talking about a future together. When it happened, they called us and let us know we could share the news. I put together a document with text and pics of them – giving both of their back stories, and e-mailed it to friends and family, sending hard copies to elderly relatives.
I did something similar re son, whose engagement to his high-school sweetheart, after a decade of dating, would, I joked, be “greeted by yawns” as it was SO expected by all. Still, it was joyous.
In both cases, rings were part of the engagements, but I consider that totally optional.
In neither case was a wedding date set for months. Couples wanted to enjoy being engaged a while before being absorbed by wedding planning.
My daughter and her fiance got engaged in March. But they didn’t set a wedding date until late in the summer, when they signed a contract with a venue.
Are there cultural differences in what steps are necessary for a couple to be considered engaged?
For those of us who passed on an engagement ring, I’m glad to hear that many don’t consider that a necessity to be engaged. 
So over dinner tonight, we found out FSIL is going to ‘surprise’ DD; she will not see the spit/polished ring until he presents it to her on his time line. They may or may not select wedding bands tomorrow. They have time for that, but can see possibilities.
I sent messages to my siblings today giving them the 411.
DD and FSIL are making arrangements to get together with H’s side of the family. Some was already discussed with them last summer due to frail grandparents and coordinating if GPs can travel.
Moving up to have a day meeting with FSIL’s parents.
I also passed on engagement ring - got a diamond at 10 year anniversary.
I am following this thread, how many people’s kids got engaged without a ring? I think most people do get a ring, whether it is a family stone or a new ring.
Big kiddo got engaged without a ring. The ring was picked a few months later - at a European jeweler specializing in antique diamonds (driven by the desire to avoid the whole “blood diamond” situation).
I got engaged without a ring 37 years ago. DH wasn’t in any position financially to afford one. He did buy me an anniversary band for our tenth anniversary to make up for it.