I think formal is an easy dress code to follow as a guest.
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Thanks. We have a family Slack channel where weāve shared articles about dress codes. My concern was whether the guests would view Formal (which to us means Black Tie Optional) as burdensome. Groom is a public defender and bride is a grad student. so their peers are similarly situated. But they seem to feel comfortable with the idea that their peers will be happy to have an excuse to dress up. Probably more grumbling from the parentsā generation, lol.
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My millennial kid and her girlfriends all pounced on every chance to dress up recently! I noticed that shiny shoes and formal dresses sell brisklyā¦ Valentino canāt seem to make enough $1000 shoes! If guys are not limited to tuxes and can wear suits instead, it will be fine.
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I donāt think formal is overly-burdensome if it is what the bride and groom want. Most men own a suit and most women have something they could wear in their closet.
If the bride and groom create a website they could clarify the dress code there.
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My DIL has also rented dresses for weddings, both long and shorter, from Rent the Runway.
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Yes, I think that saying formal means that the guests arenāt the only ones expected to kick it up a notch. I would expect open bar, fancier food, seating chart, etc.
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Gosh, everything Iāve been invited to says cocktail attire. For this weekend, I bought a short dress at Bloomies, rather than a long gown. For men, Iād assume they would all wear suits
I think formal means long dresses and tuxes or at the very least a black suit.
I actually like short dresses more (both to wear and to look at) I think they are more interesting, even a Little Black Dress that is short is more interesting than a long black dress.
My kids have been invited to a lot of weddings lately, many for the same group of friends. They have long dresses, but not that many. They arenāt the same sizes as they were for hs prom, and didnāt have that many occasions to wear formal dresses to in college, even though they were in sororities. Even Dās college boyfriend who bought a suit just for a prom canāt fit in it any more. He joined the army and bulked up a lot.
Iāve been to plenty of black tie weddings where many women wear shorter dresses (often *little black dresses") and where men wear dark suits.
Again, Iād suggest the couple be clear on the website as to the dress code.
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That is what is apparently called āblack tie optionalā - dark suits/tuxes for guys and long formal dresses or cocktail dresses like LBD for gals.
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Correctā¦but Iāve seen this dress at multiple black tie weddings over the last few years.
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I think the classification of formality got knocked down a notch. What used to be called āblack tieā is now really āblack tie optimal.ā
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My daughterās wedding was black tie optional. It was nice to see many of the guests wearing gowns & tuxes as well. My daughter explained āblack tie optionalā on their wedding website and was specific about people not stressing out about renting tuxes or buying expensive gowns, but if you had them and wanted to wear them - great. Not sure if this is a āsouthernā thing, but a lot of the men have tuxes already (and a lot of the young men have them in college for fraternity events). Many people commented to me that they enjoyed the chance to really dress up.
Of course we did have one family friend who wore jeans, a plaid shirt and a big western belt buckle 
All the weddings weāve been to have explained their own definition of a dress code ā but OP, kudos to you for thinking of your guests. I am so, so, so tired of being told the B&G wanted things a certain way so that completely justified every inconvenience or burden for their guests.
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Yes, I tried to clarify in my posts that we are using a definition of Formal that means Black Tie Optional, and if we go that direction weāll be sure itās clarified and that people are told not to stress about it. We were using this article that discusses the various dress codes. Every Wedding Guest Dress Code, Explained
Also, Groom really wants to have the ceremony at their church which is 0.3 miles from where the reception will be. Parking is going to be pretty limited so most people will probably just park once and walk between the two, or come via Uber/Lyft etc.
This is something that does concern me. Especially for guests who will come from out of town. Going to an out of town wedding is already expensive. I think the B&G are thinking mostly of their local friends/peers who they think would get a kick out of getting to dress up. As I mentioned, Groom is a public defender which is a low paying lawyer job, but as he points out, all his (male) friends have black suits.
Not necessarily. Even at āformalā events like proms, long dresses arenāt required and often arenāt seen.
Many brides put āformalā or āblack tie optionalā as code for ādress nicelyā¦no casual wearā.
We were invited to a wedding a few years agoā¦DH has a tux. I have long dresses. I believe it was black tie optional. We talked to the family and tuxes and long dresses were not required. DH wore a great nice grey suit he had recently gotten for our daughterās wedding. I wore a cocktail style dress. And really, most of the guests did the same.
I donāt know why wedding parties/couples just donāt take a few extra words in an invite or on their wedding website to spell out a little more plainly what they want in terms of dress IF they have a requirement. Itās one thing that guests seem to really agonize over and who wants to have to reach out and ask?!
I also have to wonder - is anyone arriving at a church or nice scale other venue in jeans or leggings?? Seems doubtful. Iām clearly not super tied to tradition nor am I fancy but I donāt really āgetā that we tell others what they should wear to an event.
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In every wedding we have been invited to for yearsā¦the bride and groom spell out the dress for the event on their websiteā¦.not in the invitation. I think thatās a better spot for it.
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Totally fine as I said, the website. But IRL and here on CC, always SOO many questions about whatās expected or ok to wear - because somewhere it says two words about what to wear. āBlack tieā āSemi Formalā. āGarden Partyā. All up for interpretation!
How many photos are taken of wedding guests? I donāt why so much worry over clothing.
Having a website and spelling out the dress code in a reassuring way is definitely part of the plan. I think what the B&G think is that a lot of their friends will welcome the chance to get extra dressed up. B & G are fine with suits or cocktail dresses for most but want a chance for those who want to go the extra mile to wear tuxes and floor length dresses. Iām starting to conclude that Iām over-thinking this and that the guests will figure it out based on what the website says.
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