I loved putting together goody bags for the out of state people. I wrote a letter explaining the significance of each item. Everyone in the wedding party got their favorite candy or health bar. I had mints, popcorn, box of chocolates ( from my local store), champagne gummies, lip gloss, bottle openers, corn holders with beer bottles on ends. Many things tied with the venue, a brewery. My sister brought grocery shopping bags, so colorful. There was a care package with star war bandages, Bobby pins, thread and needle kits, âŠ.
It was fun, and people enjoyed.
You can probably guess that I had no part in the wedding planning. I chose the venue for the rehearsal dinner, but the kids planned the menu.
No party favors. Late night snack was set up. The kids wanted a trail mix bar. Cups were set out for at the reception as well as bags that guests could use to make their own trail mix to take home or back to the hotel if they so desired. Weâve received many many compliments on the trail mix bar!!!
Wedding one - gift bags of snacks and drinks in hotel rooms/ group Airbnbâs with welcome letters.
Wedding two - welcome email with details 2 days before wedding. Upscale local prepackaged specialty food items in clear cello bags as wedding favors. Not one left on tables after event.
Many guests from afar to both and many thanks received.
I think the whole planning process and expense has her (them?) jaded in the process. I donât blame them. The pressure from friends and allâŠlike she says I want to have a nice wedding but I donât want it to rule my life and conversation for the next 9 months.
I expect it wonât be fully traditional. She will probably have a very small wedding party. They want to plan their own ceremony and will not have a religious officiant (someone, but not religion based). They are undecided on dancing - though I think they will have some, small dance floor, no chicken dance, married couples dance - that kind of thing. The food will be the focus.
Couples are different. S and his wife were pretty traditional. They loved the religious ceremony, the reception with all the frills, the ruling DJ, etc. We, as family, have to respect the choices made - for more, or less - but what feels right for the couple.
Itâs always interesting to see if a wedding is for the bride and groom or if it is for the parents. I was just at a very lovely affair for my college roommateâs sonâs wedding. His son and daughter-in-law took out parental meddling by organizing and paying for the wedding themselves. My roommate was limited to 2 guests (another roommate and me), which required some SM radio silence since there are about 10 of us who have remained close over the years.
In some preliminary discussions with D (subject to W override), I am just going to write them a check. We do have an understanding if they opt for a big wedding, I can invite all my friends as long as I pay for their seats, which seems fair.
Absolutely love my new daughter in law. We are from a big family and the numbers from family alone brought the numbers up. My son is close with all of his cousins and it was never a question they would be invited. Even invited the cousins small children. I offered to cut out the small children and they both said absolutely not.
I offered to cut out all friends and my daughter in law said give me your ideal list and we will work from there. It wasnât my ideal list but I added 6 couples. She then refused to cut out any of them.
They wanted everyone to share their special day and were very appreciative of both sets of parents and their contributions.
We covered all activities Friday night (rehearsal dinner and welcome reception for all) and a few other contributions here and there from us.
In the end there were enough âregretsâ that it was not an issue at all.
It was a fabulous weekend!
Sometimes in that kind of situation I heard wedding done with just a small family group. Then big party back home - it could be a fancy dinner party. For my young officemate, it was grand tiny wedding in ItalyâŠ. then they had video of it running the next month at an evening reception (cocktails and finger food) at parentâs house.
They are definitely a one-event couple! Two events would do them in!!!
I am totally on board for their idea - and their desires. They are 34. This is not our wedding or party - it is theirs. Like Burger King, âhave it your way!â
DH and my wedding was definitely for the parents but was also for us. We accepted the delay but preferred for us to be the priority (to fit my momâs schedule - their 25th wedding anniversary was her priority and shoved our wedding out a year).
DD/SIL planned out their wedding and I helped DD just at the very beginning phases, and helped her order her wedding dress (sent the money to Italy via my bank/foreign exchange). We were very limited in number of guests outside of close family, which was OK as it was not in our city and I was able to have a clear delineation. SILâs parents did host the rehearsal dinner, which was able to be very reasonable as DD got the event place w/o charge, and she personally knew the caterer/restaurant owners. I obtained the table cloths for the rehearsal dinner and for the wedding reception dinner. When DD knew some people from a distance were not able to come, she was able to invite more local friends (and a lot came) - the attendance was limited to the hall size, and they had about 170 people.
DD had friends âassignedâ to some duties after the dinner/dancing, and some disappeared, so I was able to enlist some help in addition to DH and me. Clearing tables and chairs, other general clean up, moving the gifts.
DH, closer to the wedding, asked if DD needed more money, and they had it covered. Detailed spread sheet. She had lived in that city for 5 years and had the personal contacts to have a wonderful wedding without over spending.
S1 has implied that he and SO are talking marriage and he wanted me to know that S2 has already said he will be fine if S1 wants his BFF to be thebest man.
So S1 wanted toknow can you have two best men, or have them share duties and I canât for the life of me figure out what there would be to share. BFF is a wealthyworld traveller who got mad when his destination wedding was voted down by all his (elderly, ill) family. Heâs a great guy, but clueless about how most people live. He and S2 are on opposite ends of most every spectrum.
Anybody experience this? I myself am sad that S1 would consider anyone but his own brother, but not up to me and not the end of the world. But shared duties? How?
DD2 was MOH for DD1âs wedding. DD2 is single, but will marry when BF has job in same city as she is in (she moved after finding job in this city intended to also be a job destination for BF).
See. these âexpectationsâ are what have my daughter unraveled. She wants ALL her loved family and friends there - itâs not an excessive amount - because one has a special role does not make the others less valued!
Again, what are the bride/groom expectation of these roles? Honestly, to me they are just a title and maybe a small role or position in the ceremony and maybe a âspeechâ at the receptionâŠbut to me that does not mean âmore loved or specialâ or âthe one who plans my bachelor partyâ or whatever. Or that more than one person could speak at the reception. Call all those who stand up for you the same name if you like! âBest menâ!
S was âbest menâ at his college roommates wedding last year with another of their roommates. The two âbest menâ did the speech together, in tandem.
Agree totally. S2 and DiL did not bother with designating a MOH or BM, also many other antiquated/traditional things werenât part of their day. Unlike the days of âyou mustâ and âthey have toâ, itâs lovely how weddings can reflect the bride and groom. About the only âmustâ left in the family is cutting the cake with the same knife my parents used â their grandchildren believe it is lucky, so much that the couple who opted not to even have cake bought a tiny one just to cut, at the last minute.
I donât think there is a rule that there must be one and only best man! In our case, the best men (plural) handled stuff like beer pickup at the store, giving a helping hand here and there, etc. and keeping the groom from jumping out of the hotel window before the bride showed up in her beautiful dress.
My daughter will be in a wedding party coming up and there are 4 âbridespeopleâ - two men and two women standing up for the bride. The groom has his sister as his âbest personâ.
We are attending a wedding where there are 2 best men and over a dozen groomsmen!! And none happen to be the brother. The brother is also listed in the wedding party. The wedding party is over 30 people.
In our case, the best men (plural) handled stuff like beer pickup at the store, giving a helping hand here and there, etc. and keeping the groom from jumping out of the hotel window before the bride showed up in her beautiful dress. 