DD had a 21 piece jazz band, and it was difficult adjusting the sound down to the large square bad acoustics reception hall. We talked to the band several times.
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One father of the bride I read about took care of thatāhe knew where the electrical plugs were. When it would get too loud heād go over and stand next to them with a threatening glareā¦
My BIL had a band and was always in demand. He not only played a wide variety of music but was very cognizant of the volume. My sister would do sound checks on volumeāsheād go to different areas of the room and judge to see if it was too loud. With speakers it is very difficult sometimes to know how loud it actually is. Mostly the sound is in front of you when you are on stage.
I did go to a truly lovely wedding once with a beautiful reception to go with it. Unfortunately the place had a lot of windows to reflect sound and the band drove everyone but the bridal party and similarly aged out as soon as dinner was over. The band was actually very good but you couldnāt even scream at the person next to you and be heard. Disappointing.
Guess Iāve complained about it enough that at my sonās wedding (they had a DJ) he put someone in charge of keeping the volume down.
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Sounds like despite the rain, the wedding was lovely @Corinthian.
Thanks for mentioning the volume of the DJ. My daughter is getting married in two weeks and Iām nervous about the venue. It has high ceilings and nothing really to absorb sound. My father is hard of hearing and wears hearing aids. When it is too loud, he gets miserable and cannot enjoy himself (we had to leave my nieceās rehearsal dinner early b/c it was so loud in the restaurant he could not have a conversation with anyone).
Iām going to ask my daughter to make sure my parentsā table is as far from the speakers/dance floor as possible.
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We discussed in advance and purposely placed the wedding couple 's friends closer to the band and older family/friends at the other end of the room. I think everyone was happy with that decision.
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@happy1 I have not really been involved in the planning. D is getting married across the country. I have never seen the venue in person, only photos so donāt have a good idea how itās laid out when the DJ is there. Iām sure it would have dawned on me at some point to mention to D but since I havenāt been to any of the planning meetings, I forgot to mention to her for when she is planning out table locations.
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I was happy that neither of the kidsā venues allowed amplified music. Meaning no band or DJ! The provided by the venue speakers were plenty loud for those who wanted to dance.
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The venue we used had an exclusive caterer. The caterer gave us a list of recommendations for the other vendors: planner, florist, photographer, hair/makeup etc and we were thrilled with all the other ones we ended up with. The booking agency for this DJ was on the recommendation list, which is how we got hooked up with him. The catering director was as unhappy as we were and said heād have a āstern talkā with the agency. My biggest problem was that the DJ was unresponsive to multiple requests to properly moderate the sound especially between the dance sets when we wanted to have conversations. To be fair, I should add that he succeeded in getting lots of people dancing and when the evening was over at 11 pm there were still about 25 people left on the dance floor rocking away.
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We were also concerned about the volume and had adjacent spaces (where the cocktails had been) set with lounge furniture for those who wanted to talk, somewhat away from the music.
We also chose to have only background music during diner so that the guests didnāt have to contend with conversation vs music.
One of the wedding planners suggested alternating courses and dancing, but it seemed to much of a challenge ā as someone would always be eating!
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Our timeline including dance sets was coordinated in part to accomodate the catererās needs. There was a medium sized library room off the main reception room that the caterer was using as a staging area. They needed time to turn from plating/serving salads to plating/serving entrees and then eventually to set up the library for guests to enter to pick up dessert and coffee. So we had a short dance set for guests after the B+G first dance (we didnāt do any parent dances), during which time the salads were served. The fact that we werenāt doing any parent dances is why the planner & caterer planned a short dance set at that point instead. That was when we first started to get complaints about the volume/excessive bass ā mostly from the non-dancing older generation age 60+.Then after the toasts by FOB and FOB, we had another dance set while the entree was served. The DJ finally lowered the volume somewhat while people were eating their entrees, but only after multiple people including me (MOB), FOG, and the catering director had forcefully complained to him.
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Iām sure it was a wonderful experience overall !
I donāt understand why people you are PAYING think they are in charge of YOUR experience. I would guess that the DJ has loss of hearing already.
We had a five piece band at DDs wedding. And they were terrific. During dinnerā¦they also hadā¦dinner. They had a nicely set table just outside the ballroomā¦and were given their choice of entree just like the guests (at half price because no alcohol). The band director was awesome. We asked for some quiet recorded background music during dinner, and thatās what was played. Honestly, I didnāt even notice it. The band never played too loudly, which was fineā¦and a conversation the bride had with them before she chose to book them.
The band was recommended by friends and they had the same positive experience we did.
Thank goodness!
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My daughter is getting married next weekend. I live across the country so she has handled all the planning. Some of the vendors have a service fee included. I am completely unfamiliar with who needs to be tipped.
For those of you who have had weddings recently, who did you tip and if there was a service fee, did you tip on top of that?
So far, she said these vendors have service fees included:
Cake
Florist
Venue
DJ cost is included in the venueās overall charge, but he is an outside vendor so we plan to tip him separately. But what about the bartenders (they work for the venue)? Tip them separately from the venue service fee? What about the on site wedding planner? How do we know who gets a cut of the service fee that the venue charges?
I asked our wedding planner for guidance on tipping and she emailed me her recommendations. I prepared tip envelopes ahead of time and gave them to the planner before the ceremony and she handed them out for us later in the evening. I also tipped her via Venmo the day after, a flat amount as a thank you ā not a percentage.
I also think this can depend on your contract with various vendors and local custom. For example, our caterer/venue contract had a 20% āoperation feeā but also explicitly said it was not a gratuity. The planner consulted with the caterer and let me know ahead of time how many staff would be present. The contract suggested $20-$50 per staff member but said that it was at the clientās discretion. We were told the bartenders were allowed to put out a tip jar and didnāt need to be separately tipped. I also gave the catering director a separate tip because I really felt grateful and that he had gone above and beyond for us.
Cake: no tip.
The florist was a subsidiary of the caterer and we did not tip for the florist.
DJ: planner said it was customary so we gave him $100 which I regret because I wasnāt happy with him. It crossed my mind during the event to ask the planner to hold back his tip but I didnāt follow through on that. My bad.
Photographer & Videographer: planner said not required but welcome if you feel they went āabove and beyond.ā I gave the photographer a tip (she had a secondary photographer and an assistant who I did not tip separately) and the videographer a smaller tip.
Hair & Makeup: We paid for hair and makeup for the bridesmaids who wanted it, in addition to Bride and MOB (MOG declined). The contract expressly said it didnāt include tip and that the 2 stylists should be tipped as you would at home. So we tipped them 20% and also reimbursed them for parking.
Hope this helps but I recommend asking your planner for advice.
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Ask them. Specifically.
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@Corinthian thank you for the guidance!
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Iām not saying itās right or wrong but SO much tipping!
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Yes it definitely added up. The hair/makeup was the only one where we used a %. All the others were flat amounts as an extra thank you. And as I mentioned, the venue contract was very explicit in saying that their operation fee was not a gratuity for the staff and suggesting a discretionary gratuity based on the specific number working your event. So we knew that going in. And with the exception of my regrets about the DJ, it was helpful to put the planner in charge of handing the tips out on our behalf.
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We asked the wedding coordinator at the venue for advice. At the venue we tipped the waiters, bartenders (we did not want a tip jar out), and restroom attendant. H gave all of those tips to the coordinator who distributed them.
We also gave a nice tip to the coordinator herself (she did not suggest that LOL) and the maitre d for the event who were both wonderful.
Outside of the venue staff we tipped the people who set up the flowers and the drivers of the two minibusses. We did not even see the cake being set up as we were taking photos or something so did not tip them. The hair/makeup people (we just had one hair and one makeup person) we tipped as well. ETA: We did not tip the band but did pay the venue to provide meals for each of them.
For the brunch we hosted the next morning we gave (smaller) tips to that event coordinator and waitstaff.
Lots of tipping but felt like the right thing to do and we were very happy with the wedding.
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This.
I assume our son and his wife tipped where required. DH tipped the wait staff at the place where we hosted the rehearsal happy hour as well as the bartender where we hosted the impromptu wedding-eve cocktail hour. DH also tipped the hotel valet every time he brought out our car. No other tipping that I can think of.
Our venue specially said no to tipping waitstaff. So we didnāt.
We tipped all the members of the band, the florist (who went above and beyond), the photographer and assistant, and the bartenders. We gave the wedding coordinator a āthank youā gift because the venue said she couldnāt get tips.
All of these folks well earned what we gave them, we thought.